I broke up with my ex about 8 months ago. We were together for 9 years and had a baby together. Our daughter passed away from SIDS when she was four months old and it hit us both very hard. He started drinking way too much and at the end of our relationship started to hurt me with more than just his words and play mind games with me. He was my first love and I do love him but I will never go back to him. He called a mutual friend today and told her that he needed to speak to me to basically say he is sorry and to wish me luck. I don't know if I can handle it. Should I talk to him and get it over with or should I just let it be? Do you think it will help me or hurt me?
2007-09-09 09:09:37 · 6 answers · asked by Patty M 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I have read your answers but I still feel so confused! I have tried to type how I am feeling four times now and it doesn't come out sounding right so I delete it. Okay here goes,.....crap still can't do it! Please someone help me! I think I should call because maybe he needs me too, so that he can forgive himself. But I don't want to call because I do not forgive him for treating me the way he did when I needed him the most! It's driving me crazy! What do I do?
2007-09-09 16:33:16 · update #1
hey patty...well what i can tell you is this..i cannot fully understand how you must feel....i can understand loss but i have not lost a child......so i my guess is that u feel like trapped...because you love you're guy and also kinda hate him because what he did in the past....but for him he must have felt pretty bad, and that's the way he thought he had to dealt with it......i don't think it;s justified how he did it...but he may have felt that it was the only way he can do it... i think you both need some closure...if you think and feel it's right to talk to him then do it...only because you feel it's right...and if not....well..once a friend told me this....sooner or later you're paths will cross again and when they do, you know it was time to meet again.....maybe that's when you can have at least some sort of closure....
2007-09-10 05:07:44 · answer #1 · answered by doc cool!! 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just because you call him doesn't mean that you forgive him.you two obviously had love or at least some form of it(together that long and then having a kid) i don't have any kids but the death of a child would,I'm sure put some serious(i knows its an understatement) strain on a relationship and the parents individually. i say call him because it seems that you are doing ok(until this) but he may truly need to talk to you just for closure after your child and then his drinking problem. just let him say his peace and if he wants to get back with you let him know straightforward that you wont do it. Hope it helps
2007-09-10 01:25:29 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Let it go as things are NOW....more talk will just keep wound open! Abuse and that's what it is never goes away , it will always be between you , no chance for anything more . He needs to seek out counseling and you should also(separately) You might think you can get over what he's done to you , but you will never trust him
2007-09-09 16:47:45 · answer #3 · answered by pax5155 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Thats a tough one that only you can answer, Honey!!! It's gonna hurt. That much is certain, however, you may need closure. Nip it in the bud!!! Close the chapter on this one & turn the page!!!
2007-09-09 22:52:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
wow...that's hard....sorry to hear that.....you need to find closure and forgiveness...you will never get the hurt and dissappointment out of your heart without it.....do what you must to move on with your life....just like the person above me said...counseling....you gotta talk about it to someone if not him to get it off of your chest....again sorry to hear about the death of your child and relationship with someone you gave your heart to....
2007-09-09 17:18:59 · answer #5 · answered by little red toe 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you will be wondering if you don't talk to him.
I'm so sorry to hear about your baby.........
Good luck to you.........Dianne
2007-09-09 21:24:12 · answer #6 · answered by Dianne L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋