Is it still neccessary?
2007-09-09 07:52:00 · 42 answers · asked by ? 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
no but it's polite and decent.
2007-09-09 07:56:50 · answer #1 · answered by ωєℓѕн 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No. It totally depends on your relationship with your parents and how much it means to you to go buy tradition. My fiance tryed for 4 weeks to get ahold of my dad by phone and couldnt so he asked my mom and stepdad for permission because he couldnt wait any longer...he was going to propose on christmas night! My dad was a little upset but was happy to know he atleast tried to get ahold of him. Anyway, my point is everyone is different some parents are more traditional and might get hurt if they dont ask...or they may feel distrespected by your fiance. Other parents might now think its thier business to say whos right for their daughter. If your father is hurt by this sit down with your fiance and him and explain it was not something that was ment to hurt him or make him feel excluded. A great relationship between your future husband and your family may not be the most important thing in the world but it is KEY to having a happy future where everyone is involved. Congrats on engagement and I hope everything works out perfect!!!
2007-09-09 08:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mrs. B <3 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, if he proposed already there's not much you can do about it now. If your dad is upset just give him time. When the wedding comes everyone will be so happy that he'll just forget.
My fiance asked my dad for permission. He went into his office and showed him the ring. They talked about everything for awhile. My dad was kinda suprised that my fiance did this. He appreciated it though. They had this great little bonding moment. You could tell that they were a little closer, like pals. It was cute.
I love my dad and I love my fiance. The thought of them sitting there talking about my marriage makes me smile. I think my dad appreciated being let in on the secret. Everyone wants to feel as though they are included in your big day. Sure, it's an antiquated tradition, but I think deep down dads like it.
2007-09-09 08:03:11 · answer #3 · answered by Luv the Princess 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The question should be do YOU think he should have asked your father for his blessing to propose to you.
If YOU wished that he would have asked, then the answer is yes.
If you don't care either way, then the answer is no.
My fiance did, and I think it impressed my dad and mom. I myself was tickled that he did it. I didn't find it offensive at all that he asked my father (yes I know I am not a piece of property, but I was tickled he asked).
It is not necessary, but if the father is a bit old fashioned it would be major kudos to ask a girl's father for his blessing.
2007-09-09 12:47:24 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you're underage, it's not necessary, no. Some women (and some men) consider it a romantic or charming gesture all the same, but I would have slugged my guy if he felt he needed to ask anyone's permission but mine to marry me. And while some parents consider it a sign of responsibility and courtesy on the gentleman's part, I can't imagine it would have produced any reaction other than befuddlement in my father.
I think it's fine if all parties are on the same page about its meaning, but best for a man to tread carefully if he's not sure how his lady will react.
If you'd like him to do it, then bring it up with him. He may never have thought it was something important to you.
If you don't personally care or don't want him to do it, then don't worry about it further. It's no longer required.
2007-09-09 08:01:37 · answer #5 · answered by gileswench 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Hi!
It was a long tradition that a man asked his prospective bride's father .... but it is not written in stone. People have to work these things out for themselves and it is partly because there are so many takes on such matters that organising weddings can prove stressful for families.
When I meet couples I'm going to marry, it's always important to work out how best to phrase the ceremony to suit the couple themselves, with consideration to friends and family taken account of. For example, I always offer alternatives to that possessive phrase: "Who gives this woman ...".
Most couples and those in the role that traditionally goes to the father prefer, these days, something like:
"Who consents that this woman be joined with this man ...?"
or:
"Who rejoices that this couple ..."
Then of course there are alternatives for civil ceremonies.
Whatever the order of things to date, what is important is that you and your fiance are sure about how you feel about each other. While other people need to be considered, it is you who are making a commitment and those who love you will no doubt rejoice with you.
Congratulations and good wishes.
2007-09-09 08:29:10 · answer #6 · answered by pilgrimspadre 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not still necessary, some families still prefer and do it. If you dad had never expressed the desire to be asked before and you didnt even think about it being proper before he proposed then there was no reason for him to ask.
2007-09-09 11:02:21 · answer #7 · answered by Manny 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No. I hate the idea of asking permission. It's like the woman is a piece of property and the father 'owns' her. Then after the wedding the husband 'owns' her.
I understand asking for the parents' blessing. That way the parents support the upcoming marriage.
2007-09-09 09:45:44 · answer #8 · answered by diva_m3 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It's not really necessary nowadays, although some believe it shows respect for the bride and her family. Some others may say that it undermines women's rights in this day and age, so it really depends on you and your family and how traditional you are. I personally don;t think it's necessary, although I certainly wouldn't have had an issue is my hubby had wanted to ask first.
2007-09-09 08:03:15 · answer #9 · answered by Xai 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not necessary and obviously you can still say yes without him having asked the parents. That said, I would like my bf to ask my parents (not just my dad) when he plans to propose. Not that they would say no, but I think it's just a nice thing to do.
2007-09-09 09:13:10 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it a problem? I think that this behaviour might be seen as antiquated, but it still shows respect for the father of the bride, and keeps relationships sweet! Unless he objects (which hopefully he won't!) then there shouldn't be an issue here.
If he does object; then it's your decision to decide what to do - which these days would probably be what you as a couple want to do!
2007-09-09 07:57:42 · answer #11 · answered by morwenna 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋