My husband is an only child.
We have 3 children- 2 boys who are 8 and 6 and a baby who is now 12 months old. Our middle son's birthday was last month- and he received 1 gift. The baby received 5- Just "little things" they said they had picked up for her.
Our oldest doesn't mind the gifts and attention they give to our baby. Our middle one does- because for a long time, he was the baby.
I love my in-laws. They are kind, caring, and good people. We get along really well. Always have. I have talked to them about this and my mother-in-law has said, "oh, she is just a baby..." I expressed to them that it hurts the boys and the same reaction.
They are thrilled to death that there is a little girl in the family- I know this, yet our middle son is feeling left out. I have talked to him about it, but he feels Grandma only loves the baby now. Yep, my heart breaks for him.
How can I talk to them to get this point across?
2007-09-09 07:01:12 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Actually, no, they didn't do the doting thing. Which is why this surprised my husband and I. If they had something for the our younger son as a baby, the also had something for our older son. We expected that again. These gifts are outfits, teddy bears, dolls, you name it. Not the "little things" that they are saying. It hurts. I know it does.
2007-09-09 07:13:52 · update #1
been there, done that. My MIL has 1 grandson from me and one granddaughter from my hubbys older brother. She takes the granddaughter to plays, she spends the night, the go to the beach etc. My son, she sees every 3 months or so. And we live closer!!! There is apparently nothing to do with a boy, I guess.
2007-09-09 08:02:29 · answer #1 · answered by parental unit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a case of jealously to me. Most children will feel some kind of jealously towards other siblings. I witnessed it happen with nephews and nieces. A normal part of growing up at his age. Good for you for talking to him about it, but try also to see your in-laws point of view: It is so easy to shop for babies, especially girls. As the children become older, the toys become more expensive too. And it also becomes harder to please children due to their own personal tastes. It is better than young children don't value their worth according to the quantity of what they have. Better to focus on the quality and the love of family instead. So I agree with your in-laws for only giving 1 gift. Perhaps you may suggest that they give the extra gifts when the boy is not around, but trying to play "fair" may not actually help in the long run. Try to explain to him that when he was a baby, his grandparents did the same for him. Babies need more things. You can use that big heavy diaper bag as an example.
2007-09-09 14:15:17 · answer #2 · answered by nbt95337 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would talk to the grandparents again. My parents live here- and my in-laws have died. They don't buy for one without something for the other. It hurts the other child's feelings. I really appreciate that they do this too because there is a big age difference between our 2- 10 years.
Keep talking to the boys and let them know that it will pass.
2007-09-09 14:29:28 · answer #3 · answered by NY_Attitude 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask them to take your middle child out for a grandparents day so he can feel special. Just know that this behavior is totally normal! Good luck!
2007-09-09 14:07:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
when you middle son was born, didn't he get a ton of attention from his grandparents, which may have made the older one a little jealous?
i think every child has their time to be doted on....if their grandparents gave them just as many present and attention when they were born/babies, then this baby deserves the same!
2007-09-09 14:10:40 · answer #5 · answered by amandajoan75 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋