I have been in an abusive relationship before.. my ex hit me so i ended up fighting back, we went to counceling and the counceler told me to stop fighting back and the violence would stop ... it didnt, so i got out of the relationship and evtually that woman who told me not to fight back got fired.
It has been years since that happened ive had a couple boyfreinds since then and just got engaged again, He was wonderful!! and promised never to hit me, he knew my past and wantd to kick my exs a$$ but i never let him.. He asked me to marry him last januaray and i accepted.... of course, military man, whole nine yards... well i hurt my back at work last friday, all the muscles on my left side were pulled.. i asked him to stay so i wouldnt be alone and ended up waking him up, cause he was kneeing me while i slept and hurtong my back even more... he got upset... words were exchanged and he got up to leave. I rolled over and tried to stop him from leaving... not my intention on waking him
2007-09-09 04:07:26 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
he hit me, in the back where i hurt it at work two days prior... after he had promised never to hit me... What do i do??
2007-09-09 04:09:44 · update #1
He claimed that it was a reaction, to me trying to get him to stay. It was 4 am... he has never ever shown the violent side of his nature before but he must have one he is a black belt and just gout out of the navy. He was brought up in the south and i in vermont... so we are very different up bringings.. am i in the wront or was he....
the counselor was through Castleton state college, she had also told our anorexic freind that she was fat numorious times... we ended up kid napping her bringing her to New York to a hospitol and adittting her... its scary
2007-09-09 04:22:47 · update #2
CALL HIS SUPERVISOR. I was in the Army and we don't need this guy in with us. If he is in a combat unit he will be blacklisted and kicked out like he should be. Please do the right thing here weather you stay or go you need to report him to his supervisor. If you are not comfortable talking to his supervisor you can contact some one in the family support group or you can go even high that his immediate supervisor like his commander of 1st Sergeant. We do not want these guy standing next to us in a fire fight trust me do your part for your country too get him out of the service.
Thumps down this way---------------------->
2007-09-09 04:25:53 · answer #1 · answered by trueblueeyedguy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is going to sound horribly sexist on so many levels, but what the hell, here goes. First of all, a woman has no reason to hit a man (unless it was clear self defense). Just because she is a female does not mean this doesn't qualify as physical abuse. However, I do not agree that the man should hit her back unless he feels like his safety or life is in danger. If the woman hits him once for saying or doing something and he feels like his honor/dignity has been compromised, this is not ample reasoning to reciprocate the hit. But I think this rule applies to woman who has just been hit once by a man for saying or doing something he didn't approve of. The proper response is to go to the police, not further the abuse. It really does not have to do with the man being more dominant than the female (and therefore not having the right to hit). Although, there is a certain unspoken law of chivalry/gentlemanly courteousness that makes the returned slap of the male to the female more forbidden and scandalous. The woman slapped may be an awful person, but slapping one female is like slapping the entire gender across the face. Sad, but a true fact of our society. Not that one slap to a woman would cause a man to begin disrespecting every female he met, perse, but that's the perceived effect. Basically, if one's life is in danger, one is allowed to practice self-defense, be it male or female. In any other setting, physical abuse is unacceptable.
2016-04-03 22:37:30 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl one hit leads to another one. You need to think about this carefully. First put off marring him. And get out of the relationship because a true man would never hit his girl, wife or what ever the title is. Even though you woke him up. I understand him was mad and yall argued but he was never i mean never suppose to hit you.
2007-09-09 04:26:34 · answer #3 · answered by candydance 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
when your bf is starting to hit you, trust me, that kind of relationship is going no way but spiraling downwards. that's not love! and no man that truly loves his woman can ever hurt her physically. you deserve a real man and a real good loving. don't choose to be a victim! some people tend to have the same series of situation over and over again because they choose it. break that cycle.
contemplate on the things what you really want to happen in your life. don't focus on the things you don't want.
2007-09-09 04:24:21 · answer #4 · answered by kaatje 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't try to justify what he did. He hasn't apologized, just tried to back himself up. That's a bad sign. You could try talking to him in a neutral area. If you can't talk to him about this then it's time to end it. If you can't talk to the person you are going to marry about how he hurt you - especially given your past - then you shouldn't marry him.
2007-09-09 04:39:29 · answer #5 · answered by Rockit 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't give him a chance to do it again. Get out now. I have never heard of an abusive person changing, because they don't want to, so get out while you can.
2007-09-09 04:16:37 · answer #6 · answered by Joan H 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i highly doubt a therapist would tell u NOt to fight back... maybe he is not the one for you either...
2007-09-09 04:18:04 · answer #7 · answered by momof3 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋