I've been with my boyfriend for about four months. He always complains about how his life sucks. He was adopted when he was younger..his real mom was a prostitute and he was apartly hurt as a kid but he doesn't remember any of it. His parents now aren't the most loving parents but they did adopt him so they MUST care about him.
I'm really sick of him complaining about things that personally I think he does appreciate what he has because a lot of people have it much worse than him...but he's starting to realize that but he still talks about "ohh my life sucks..." and it's hard because it makes me feel like nothing..
I know he does love me and I really do love him but I don't know if I can deal with this forever.
Also he's kind of clingy and is moderetly depressed so breaking up would be hard.
Any opinons and advice is great!
2007-09-09 04:05:11 · 16 answers · asked by southernsweetie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh man ! I feel for you - I truly do because IM IN THE TOTALLY EXACT SAME BLOODY SITUATION - same depression same EVERYTHING.
Urgh - it's SO annoying right? I mean complaining about life once in a while is ok - like maybe once every week or once every 2 days or something - BUT ALL THE TIME -?? urgh.
My b/f's dad left him as a kid and he wanted to study but couldn't carry it through due to lack of money.
BIG DEAL.
Everytime I call him he says 'I'm so worried' That's it.
He's too needy, too clingy and really can't hold is own. I love him but am starting to lose respect for him. I really do love him.
Yup mine too is moderately depressed so breaking up would be difficult too. He says he got over his past but I aint too sure coz every 2 days he goes into a depressed state and starts sending me vile emails saying 'you don't care and studff liek that' and he signs the email with his name and DEAD because of you.
He even acts jealous that I'm studying -and that is just b/s I dn't really think I deserve this.
Also every 2 mins he'll ask: You do really love me right?
Then he'll say when we marry or something like that, that he'll change from being needy to strong - and that he casn face any situation - but if he can't even bear a bit of distance yeah heck he'll deal with situations. His presence was an alpha male and I need an alpha male - bossy, orders me around etc I find that V sexy in a man - but he can't do any of that.
What is this anyway??
I'm sticking you on my contact list and if you figure out a solution without breaking up with your guy, then PLEASE do email me. Or if I figuire smthin out I'll email u
I refuse to break-up with him bcoz I love him too much but serious advice needed
I'mafraid to say anything to him because he's gonna be mad.
2007-09-09 04:22:26 · answer #1 · answered by Jealous 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
As we know, everyone has an opinion...that is what makes the world go around. But from someone older and experienced with a failed marriage etc. take this advise. IF you have communicated to him that his complaining must be worked on, and he continues first try and get him some help with a counselor to vent his problems to and help him....he may suffer from deep depression and self-confidence. If he is unwilling, then move on sister! Life is too short and complicated to take on another person's problems. You will wake up and be 40 yrs old still putting up with his crap and has brought you down with him. There is so much negative, evil, bad things in our world to stop seeking our own happiness! I hope I helped a little bit?
2007-09-09 04:15:29 · answer #2 · answered by Ginger 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him moaning about it won't change anything. we are our own people and we have control over how our lives turn out. People have had it much worse and ended up being truely happy and getting what they want out of life. He just has to take the wheel and direct his life to a point where he would be happy. Ask him what would make him happy. And talk about how you will be supportive in his endeavors to do so. Just be there for him. Maybe he suffers from depression and should see a doctor. Maybe he's just wanting attention. Basically just be there for him. IT's all you can really do.
2007-09-09 04:11:10 · answer #3 · answered by TodboT 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and talk to him.I mean really talk. Show him the good things he has in his life and tell him that he needs to stop concentrating on just the bad things. Let him know how he is bringing u down and their is more to life then complaining all the time.If he doesn't stop then now he will at least know why u are breaking up with him. Good luck
2007-09-09 04:13:19 · answer #4 · answered by sweet_thing_kay04 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Early faults almost always grow with age . What you're experiencing now is only a " preview of coming attractions " as they used to say in the movies .
Very few people ever practice self analysis, and self improvement . Those who do practice self analysis honestly and truthfully - - - and strive for improvement, are easy to live with. The others ??????????
2007-09-09 04:14:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you can never have too much sex from most guys point of view, but if he has accounts at dating sites he has most likely moved on and would cheat if he had the chance, i don't know if all the sex in the world would mend a situation like that. ditch the 0 find a real man
2016-04-03 22:37:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
this guy comes with baggage..and you have decide if you want to carry it or not. he will eventually depress you. if a guy kept telling me how life sucks.. i would like to know what role i played in his misery. that is not very complimentary. if he cannot get over his childhood..you are in for a long ride.. and it will not be a fun one. you can not live on love alone.. clingy or not.. he is tooooo heavy a burden. my opinion
2007-09-09 04:15:01 · answer #7 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he really wants the help :
Therapy and maybe seeking some spiritual guidance in whatever religion he worships .
And just keep telling him what you just mentioned: "by counting his blessings." If he doesn't like his life , change it and make it better .
2007-09-09 04:10:59 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i been married for 6 years with my husband. and he always complain, to this day he does. but what i think you should do is, think about the happy times and not the bad times. thats what i do. my husband father left him when he was 2, his mother got remarried. but his family doesn't really care. so i know how you feel. listening to them sucks. but at times, its sad. so ijust try to do something fun so he can stop thinking about it. and just have fun. but anyways good luck.
2007-09-09 04:21:06 · answer #9 · answered by nandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't know how to deal. You're probably out growing him. Don't feel arrested by his personal issues, you're not his therapist. Of course we must listen to our boyfriends and support them but what good is it going to do if he can't carry his own weight.
2007-09-09 04:15:11 · answer #10 · answered by Pinkee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋