Have you noticed if kids are abused/abandoned by their mothers...?

Question

...and they live to talk about it, how people try to deny their experiences?

They do this by saying things like, "Now you have an opportunity to be a good parent to make up for it!" (puts the burden on the abused to make up for it)

Or they immediately talk about how well their mother cared for them.

Or they apologize, *then* talk about how they were loved.

Anything but have to actually deal with the reality that some mothers are very, very bad--even evil.

When the child becomes adult, people directly or indirectly blame the abused/neglected child itself for somehow being bad, bringing it on, making excuses for the mother.

This is just a note to let all of you know: Not only is doing this not helpful, it is, in fact, counter-productive to building a healthy society.

Being abandoned by a mother creates immense challenges to survival. The overall impact of such a loss needs to be taken more seriously.

Winning answer=either most shallow or most enlightened. May it be the latter!

...and now, because I simply describe a situation I've observed answerers say I have called all mothers evil... I'd like to point out I did NOT say that. So that is what *you* are thinking. Also I am being described as having a lot of anger in my head.

So far, these wonderful answerers are demonstrating the concept I described perfectly! Let's get some more criticism!

Remember, those who point out that mothers can be very bad, abusive, and neglectful are bad people who have problems and need help! Say that long enough and loud enough, and you, too can ensure the abuse will continue through out perpetuity.

Congratulations.

I am sad that it appears the best answer will be going to the most shallow. I'll extend it in hopes of redemption.

Answer 1

I understand what you are saying. I see it all the time on the news and in everyday life. I think the reason why people find it hard to believe that mothers could ever abuse or abandon their children is that mothers are generally caring. People think that all women are suppose to love children and never do wrong by them. I believe their are more cases of mothers abusing their children then we hear of. Now I'm not going to go off and start talking about my mother but I know from personal experience that mothers CAN abandon there children. It is never the child's fault for being abused or abandoned! NEVER not under and circumstances! And anyone who says otherwise needs to keep their thoughts to themselves because they are only HURTING the person more. Its called adding INSULT to INJURY!

Answer 2

Yes, I have noticed this tendency. I agree with you that "the overall impact of such a loss needs to be taken more seriously."

That being said, the very first person, janicajayne, who answered your question worries me. Maybe janicajayne thinks that answer is funny. Or maybe janicajayne was being serious. Either way, that kind of thinking is exactly the sort of thing that keeps the worst parts of society going.

I do not know how anyone could think that simply by living to the age 18 means you magically have everything you need to survive.

I hope that janicajayne NEVER reproduces. I feel sorry for janicajayne and i feel even more sorry for any children janicajayne may bring into the world. God forbid this person adopt or foster. I know she (or he?) probably was abused as a child and is just repeating what was learned at home. I hope something happens that will get that person into therapy so he (or she?) can learn how child abuse leaves deep scars on society that do not simply disappear when the abused child reaches a certain number of years lived. What an awful response.

Since that answer looks like the most shallow, I hope this is enlightened enough to keep hers from winning.

Answer 3

i think i understand what you mean. i wa abused and my mom blamed me for it then in the next breath she says im a liar and had everything i wanted. ive only opened up to 3 people about my childhood and when my mom has found out she went mad and told i was a manipulitive liar and so on so forth. i dont really care what she says because i know what happened when i was a child and i never expect sympathy of people for it because i never knew any differnet at the time anyway. if wasnt like i had it good and then it went bad so it hit me harder because it want like that, i just always had it bad but thats how i knew life to be so it was normal. but it has learnt me to now be a better parent than her. if i ever made my mistakes in life id never sya ' its because i had a bad childhood'. i learnt from my childhood. i hate my mom for how she treated me now because id never do that to my kids but she made me the person i am today. ive got time for anyway. im abit like a lost soul but whose trying to help everyone else. although i suffer mentaly now from it all i dont expect sympathy or sorrow off people or even help... jus wish people understood what it does feel like xx

Answer 4

You have a lot of anger to get out of your head...You cant say every mother is evil, nor could anyone say all fathers are...If that was true, how screwed up would this world be.
Its true that there are women, who do abuse their children and there's a place in h*ll waiting for them...The ones that have been abused needs to be the one who break this cycle, needs to end this madness.
What is this angry you feel doing for you? Is it helping? What do expect to happen now? Only you can make a difference, only you have control on how you live your life now...What can you do to change things? Its all up to you now...Your in the drivers seat.
You can not expect those who have not been abused to understand what it is your saying, you best bet is to talk to someone who has.
I wish you luck and i hope one day you find peace....

Answer 5

Umm no. But by the time the kid turns 18, their life is theirs. It's not up to society to continually make it up to them because they had a bad mother. Once you turn 18, it's your life to make as you choose. Continuing to whine about what happened when you were 6 or 7 is crap. It's over and done with. Either get therapy or just shut up and make your own life better from 18 on. Society doesn't owe you anything because mommy wasn't there.

Answer 6

i agree with you, their are kids that needs to be spank, but not beating to death.. i'am a mother too, and i do punish my kids, like slapping their hands, when touching things thats been told not too, or slapping their feets when kicking others or walls. but not beating them. thats just wrong. but yes there is mothers out there just like that.. and when i hear about it.. it makes me mad.. but thank you for putting this up..