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I am sick of my mother always rulling my life...i don't think its right i am 18 and want to life my own life...But she never wants me to do enything or go enywere and i feel i don't need her permision and she cuts in on me and my BF time together when i'm at his house she always comes and fetches me like 5 hours before she was supose to and when he's with me at my house my mother always calls me to do stuff and my bf always has to do stuff with my littel brother witch i don't think is right...and when i want to go to his house and spend the weekend there she fights with me and shouts at me saying things like i love them more then her and my brother and i spend more time and do more things for my BF sisters kid than for my brother...I'm getting sick of it...How can i tell her i want freedom and that my BF and his family are apart of my life and that she must accept it without getting in a fight with her and why is she acting like this?!

2007-09-09 03:12:50 · 19 answers · asked by Kyle's_Girl 1 in Family & Relationships Family

19 answers

Her house, her rules.

Your house, your rules.

You're 18...make a decision.

2007-09-09 03:18:18 · answer #1 · answered by tabulator32 6 · 4 0

I had the same problem..except my mom would always have the guy give her his ID..SSN..and write down his tag..everytime! The man I'm married to know... (I'm 25 and he is 29) and she still acts the same. When we go to her house HE MUST help around the house.. HE MUST play with my sister's son.. and HE MUST hangout and help my father.
We dont even live with them..lol
Anyways my suggestion would be to tell her how she is making you feel and if she keeps it up you will move in with HS family.. I did that to my mom and she backed of a lil. I still tell my mom she has to stop with her pushyself and stop acting as if she knows all and is G-D... Just sit ur mother down and teel her whats on your mind and how she is making your bf and urself upset and that its making everything else hard. Thta you cant take her being like that and its pushing you to move out.. your 18 and you dont have to live under her roof anymore.
Good luck!

2007-09-09 10:30:10 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

Wow, it was like that for me and my first girlfriend. It got to the point that she ended up getting jealous of her little brother, because I became like an older brother to him and he ended up wanting to spend a lot of time with me. Some mother's are like this. Basically, it works like this. If you rebel against her, depending on how extreme what you do is (ie: run away from home, have a shouting match with her, ignore the rules she set you, etc.) she may get stricter with you or she may back off realizing she's not giving you enough freedom and is obsessive in the idea of keeping you a little girl instead of letting you become the woman you are becoming.

2007-09-09 10:21:14 · answer #3 · answered by Will 1 · 0 1

It sounds like she is very concerned for you. It sounds like she loves you and doesn't want you to get hurt. Its tough. You want your independence. Some day you will totally have it...and all the headaches that go with it, like going to work every day to make enough money to pay all your bills, keep a roof over your head, and raise your own kids who all will be wanting their independence from you.

So....relax. Be patient. Enjoy the youth that you have left. It is a golden time, a precious time, it will not last forever--those grim work days are coming soon enough and they go on for decades...like 40 years if you can even imagine such a long time. Still, its not all bad, but it is no way as good as being 18 and still under your mom's loving care. Just relax, be patient, enjoy what you got...and try to be loving and patient with your mom because if she didn't love you a lot she wouldn't be trying so hard...maybe too hard actually...to keep you from getting hurt.

2007-09-09 10:23:40 · answer #4 · answered by jxt299 7 · 0 1

Get out of her house. You sound like you want to do adult things and have adult responsibilities and experiences, but the problem is that she doesn't need an extra adult in her house. As an adult, I never have to worry about someone fetching me from my boyfriend's house...I have my own car!! I never have to worry about doing chores when my boyfriend is around, I clean my own house, so we can spend as much time together as possible. She carried you 9 months and knows you better than you know yourself. If you are doing more for him and his family, you need to ask yourself why....did they take care of you? do they make sure you have a place to sleep? did they provide shelter, comfort, food, etc to get you to this point in your life? If you want YOUR FREEDOM, LEAVE. Your life can never truly be your own (you didn't create yourself nor did you support yourself from infancy until now), and from the way you describe it, it sounds like your life is your boyfriend's and not really yours anyway.

2007-09-09 10:33:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You know the one true way is to get your own place.Legally your 18 years old and your an adult.As long as your living in your mothers house you have to abide by her rules no matter how rude you may think they are.My suggestion get a job and move out

2007-09-09 10:21:53 · answer #6 · answered by jchas64651 4 · 2 0

Your mother just wants to be a part of your life. She probably doesnt like the idea of you going over to his house for long periods of time, so try going to a movie with him or something more public. Also, put aside days where you spend time with your mom, and days for your boyfriend. Maybe your boyfriend can come over to your house and hang out?

2007-09-09 10:21:34 · answer #7 · answered by L337est 4 · 0 1

If you are 18, then you should realize what the heck a run on sentence is and how to separate your sentences by punctuation.

I think you have much bigger problems to worry about, (like how the heck you are going to get a job and be a productive member of society when your grammar skills are horrible), than worrying about your mother watching over you.

2007-09-09 10:20:09 · answer #8 · answered by Vol 5 · 2 1

If you are 18 you have the option of moving out and then be completely on your own to do as you wish. If you are under 18 or need your mom for support, then as long as you are under her roof you pretty much have to do as ahe says. Or you may find yourself out on the street.

2007-09-09 10:22:25 · answer #9 · answered by mike_alegend 6 · 1 0

Your mom is just being protective. Tell her that you understand the dangers in life, and that you are definently aware of them. Tell her to lighten up just a little bit, you understand that she loves you, and only wants you to be safe. Tell her that she's taught you well, and that now you know how to go out into the world on your own. Fact is...she just doesn't want to let go of her baby, and u have to understand that too.

2007-09-09 10:21:12 · answer #10 · answered by free2luvbob 2 · 0 1

It sounds like you have a lot of growing up to do. Maybe she doesn't want you to get pregnant because, judging by your statement, spelling, and grammar, you wouldn't be the one to take care of the kid. How do you get your mom to back off? Simple. Grow up some.

2007-09-09 10:20:58 · answer #11 · answered by dudley997997 6 · 1 0

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