How can I defend myself?

Question

I'm a 19-year-old male. I've been bullied my entire life, from preschool to college. My brothers got bullied. My friends get bullied. I can't protect them. I realize that (1) it's not going to stop. It'll happen at work and on the street, (2) it'll only get worse as I make more enemies and lose the protection I got from school disciplinarians or other authorities, and (3) I can't protect my friends if I can't protect myself. I'm sick of being a victim. I want to do something, whether that means a martial art, bodybuilding, or learning how to use a gun. In 2 or 3 years, I want to be strong and respected as such. I want to be able to stand up to anyone, even if it's David ******* Robinson. How can I defend myself?

Answer 1

That's a real slippery slope you are on, mister.

".......I'm sick of being a victim......"
"........I want to be strong and respected as such. I want to be able to stand up to anyone....."

You have to realize that this is exactly the same reasoning that bullies use to justify their bad behavior. Stop thinking like a bully.

*All* bullies were once victims of bullying themselves, whether at home or at school, from their parents, brothers and sisters, or from their classmates. Bullies believe that the *only way* to gain respect, and to protect themselves, is by harassing and intimidating others. Bullies are small people; they are all, in reality, just frightened, traumatized little children. Bullies don't deserve your fear or your anger, they only deserve your pity.

Remember, that a bully can never *make* you a "victim", only you can do that. Never respond to a bully, never give them the satisfaction; never acknowledge the presence of a bully, never even make eye contact! Doing so will only confirm their suspicions that you are, in fact, a threat to them. Bullies can only have as much power over you, as you give to them.

Remember also, that unless you are in *real physical danger*, it is *never worth it* to fight back! By starting a fight, you are risking your safety, your sanity, your future, your good reputation, and most importantly your self respect! Aggression should only be considered as a desperate last resort, otherwise you are no different from the bullies!

That said, the best way to protect yourself, is to simply run away.

Failing that, a good tactic is to go for the eyes. Most people will reflexively cover their eyes if they are attacked, and this may buy you a few moments in order to make good your escape. There is nothing dishonorable about running away. While a bully may deride you for it, and call you a coward, he will also quickly learn that he cannot goad you into fighting with him.

Lastly, consider the example of Mohandas Ghandi.

Ghandi was a short, rail thin man, meek and very soft spoken, wore only a loincloth and glasses for much of his life. Ghandi was a vegetarian, he would not even harm an insect if he could avoid it. He would never ever fight back no matter what the circumstances (and believe you me, he saw the worst of the worst....)

Yet, Ghandi was able to bring the entire British empire to it's knees; he needed only say a few words, and most of India would follow him.

Obviously, Ghandi knew something that bullies don't......
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mahatma_Gandhi

Good luck,
~W.O.M.B.A.T.

Answer 2

Well you answered your own question.

I think you need to:

.Get involved in a self-defense class
.Hit the gym and get advice from the trainers on how to bulk up a little and gain some muscle mass.
.Also a concealed weapons permit is a good thing to have, that way if need be and you had to use the weapon....you would know how to.
*However don't just get a concealed weapons permit, just to flash it around and use it to scare or threaten people with it. That can get you into some serious troubles with the police if the other person reports you. *

......Defend yourself by being the bigger person and taking a negative and making it into a positive. Or rather...go take that self-defense course and go to the gym and pump some iron and build up muscle.
*Don't defend yourself through violence and threats though.*

Anyways good luck.

Answer 3

Well, if your friend was drinking, and you weren't, I would mention that to the people that thought you did bad.. Also, what about her character issues. You seem like an honest person. Is she known for lying? If so, remind those accusing you of your honesty etc... You're in a tough situation bro.. I can't think of any other ways to help you out..

Answer 4

First, you should figure out why you allow people to bully you. Not all small people get bullied...you should talk to a counselor...I think that would really help. Physically, I would run and lift weights to build up your strength and stamina...plus, join some sort of self defense class to learn a technique. Please, what ever you do, DO NOT buy a gun!!!!!

Answer 5

My son has being bullied at state school. I send him for martial arts for only 6 months. He was different child,-full of confidence and never bullied again from no body. please take a first step and never show your enemies that you re afraid. Look them in the eyes. You see they are actually insecure and that's the reason they bully others. Keep that in mind.

Answer 6

i wouldn't take karate because 90% of them are crap. you would be in a big surprise if you used crapy karate on a big guy. i would take boxing. and go to the gym occasionaly to bench and do bicep curls. and dont get a gun; that WILL ONLY lead to BAD things.

Answer 7

Please, the first thing you need to do is learn to be at peace with yourself. By all means, learn martial arts, but learn the mental part as well as the physical. Don't cheat youself. You can learn to protect yourself and your friends and family.

Answer 8

Go take karate.