This is going to sounds a bit silly, but I've been seeing a man who I met a while ago, for just over 3 weeks now. We've never had sex or done anything sexual, just kissed and cuddled, ect... But whenever we do cuddle up to one another or kiss properly, he gets hard on. I don't think he knows that I notice, but I do. He's a real gentleman and very respectful, and has never once tried to move things forward (sexually), but sex is the only thing I can think about when kissing/hugging him, because he's quite obviously thinking of it himself. I'm not really complaining about it, but it is a little distracting... Do men have any control over this kind of thing? Is there anything that can be done to stop it?
Thanks in advance to everyone who answers.
2007-09-09 02:56:58 · 24 answers · asked by kl 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He sounds like a gentleman, he probably is thinking about sex too but doesn't want to seem like he is pressuring you. He is probably waiting till you are ready. If it is worrying you that much talk to him about it. He sounds great though, a gentleman who clearly fancies you like crazy!
2007-09-09 03:05:13 · answer #1 · answered by Purdycat 5 · 4⤊ 0⤋
The first thing I will tell you is that kissing and cuddling IS sexual. Don't kid yourslef. When a man is close to his lady, and they start kissing and cuddling, it is a natural prelude to sex. That is what kissing and cuddling are for. Almost all men respond to intimacy with an erection. Some hide it better than others, for some it takes a little bit longer to get aroused, but it is going to happen. It is not a response we can control. Just like your panties getting wet, this is how our bodies prepare for a natural event, like making love.
Aren't you glad he can't see your underwear getting wet with your lubrication. Don't try to deny it happens. If it doesn't, you are with the wrong guy anyhow and it's time to move on to someone else.
When I was younger, I would masturbate BEFORE I went out on a date, so that I wouldn't experience that problem so quickly or obviously.
Now picture in your mind, your man going home after he sees you and stripping naked and taking the problem into his own hands for some much needed relief. I guarantee you, this is what happens if he is a normal male. If you don't like this image, it's time to stop kissing and cuddling.
If you want to make him happy, the next time you see him with an erection, offer to relieve it for him. You can use your hands or mouth and don't have to go all the way.
Remember, if it is limp, it is less likely to get you pregnant. Think about it.
2007-09-09 03:38:18 · answer #2 · answered by ? 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Yeah you can't really put a wedge anywhere to stop human nature. Sorry.
First I think that's great you two have held off on the sex aspect, not many people can do that.
However...relationships do need to have some sort of a sex life involved or else major boredom sets in then one or the other partner will start to look elsewhere to get their needs satisfied.
So I'm not sure what your take is on that, but from what I have been told from a guy...waiting about a month or longer to have sex with him tells him that you aren't "easy" and you're not a "****" or whatever. They only think that when you put out on the first night, or within days of seeing each other etc.
As far as I am concerned you're in the clear on this one. Maybe you two should consider taking this a step further, and see how you two can handle each other......he's ready....are you?
.........good luck.
2007-09-09 03:06:04 · answer #3 · answered by Murphy's Law 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
hmmm
so many feelings. so many q? and so many thoughts? lols....
ya ya ya. it happens.
hard on is a nice thing. and in ur case it is so good because u too want to go ahead. i think its the hesitation between u both which is making u feel like this. even he must be thinking like u. (u can bet that). and don't say me that u r not getting wet when he is getting a hard on. caught ya!!!!!
well, i would suggest. let things go as they r. let time pass by and do whatever u r doing right now. this way it will feel nice. if u would have done what u r thinking then u would have had no more q?. so better have q?s and then only u will be able to enjoy ur relationship.
if at all u want to go ahead. then start showing signs and seducing him. till now u both r in love. now start romancing and getting naughty.
u both will enjoy.
all the best and happy life to both of u.....
2007-09-09 03:13:10 · answer #4 · answered by yogesh_hunt 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No, a hard on is natures way of procrating the species. All he could do is take a cold shower. Please consider it a compliment. It has been said many times the greatest compliment a women can ever get is a hard on. You are correct, the fact the gentleman does not push for sex means he is being very respectful and you are important to him. Don't rush it, enjoy the rush.
2007-09-09 03:11:34 · answer #5 · answered by FREE4ALL8 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No man is able to control an erection when he is aroused, unless he has suffering from dysfunction.
You cannot control the emotions that come to your mind. Thinking of ways how not to get an erection is not different from trying to find out how you can not shed tears when you are crying, or how not to sweat when you are out in the sun.
And hey, if you both are apparently thinking along the same lines, then what's stopping you? :)
Good Luck!
2007-09-09 03:16:38 · answer #6 · answered by Calculus 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Honey darling - you should take it as a compliment that he is both aroused, and restraining himself at the same time - he values the potential relationship that may develop and does not want to risk blowing it.
Now here's a clue for all the boys, ok men get stiffies when they're aroused, girls get hot - literally. If your date excuses herself and the seat she was occupying is warmer than ambient temperature, it's time to drive her home, pal - real quickly.
2007-09-09 03:11:02 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no. no real control over arousal and what comes of it. no way to stop it other than stop cuddling, slow dancing or passionately kissing him. you know how to make it go away. But then you would have to step up.
2007-09-09 03:02:23 · answer #8 · answered by oldsoftee2001 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
We can control when we ejaculate to a certain extent, if we practice; but controlling when we get a hard-on is something that's nearly impossible, unless he's a priest or a eunuch. Sorry, but you mess with the bull, you get the horn...lol
2007-09-09 03:07:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
We men have almost no control over when the captain stands to attention !!
2007-09-09 11:38:55 · answer #10 · answered by EdinItalia 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋