2007-09-09 00:15:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
No, she's not too young. It's actually more important that you are honest and straightforward with her about what happened, as at this age she is old enough to know that something is a bit off if you don't tell her the truth, and she'll remember it if you lie to her. My (now 6 yo) daughter's kitten got run over when she (my daughter) was 4, and we tried to keep it from her, but she immediately knew what had happened (didn't see it, just put two and two together) and she was really cranky with me for not being honest with her. Honesty is a big thing for kids that age.
2007-09-09 00:30:26 · answer #1 · answered by KooriGirl 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's going to notice the puppy is gone. Do not lie to her. The puppy was too badly hurt for the vet to fix it and it died. It's OK to be sad because she loved the puppy. She's going to have a lot of questions and you must answer them according to your beliefs. This may well start her asking about people and if they die. Be prepared to answer those questions. Kids that age do not really understand that death is permanent and sometimes think they can do magic and bring back the dead. They need to hear the truth clearly and,often, repeatedly. She's probably going to want to know where the puppy is now. Tell her what happened to the body. Some kids in this situation are helped by a "funeral" or memorial service of some kind, probably in the back yard.
2007-09-09 03:34:05 · answer #2 · answered by EC Expert 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My condolences.
In my opinion, I suppose it would be a good time to sit down with her and devise a method of explaining what has happened. You could soften/downplay the actual events to make it less devastating. I take it that this occurrence will be the first death that your daughter will deal with. I don't think any white lies about the puppy's passing will lessen the blow much, but it all depends on what information she has about it. I would probably sugar coat the truth by telling her it was an terminal illness and the puppy passed away in it's sleep.
No, honestly... I really don't know a proper/good method to do this, sorry.
I truly feel for you, this is a traumatic time for you and your family. :(
2007-09-09 00:33:31 · answer #3 · answered by Grammaton Cleric 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I would definitely tell her that the puppy has died and gone to heaven. I am not sure if I would explain the being hit by a car thing though. It could make her afraid of cars to the extent of refusing to get into one. If you get another dog, she could be thinking of the dog being near cars.
My girls were 3 and 4 when we had to get our much loved dog put to sleep at the vets because of old age and the associated illnesses. It was so traumatic! I ended up buying them a toy puppy each and explaining to them that the dog was sick and went to heaven, but she had left them a toy to remember her by and that now she was in heaven, she was happy and healthy and would always look after them, etc.
Even today, they still remember the dog, her name and everything about her - and even remember lovingly the toy puppy that she left for them.
I didn't tell them that the dog was put to sleep - I thought they would be traumatised by the concept of "sleep means death". Maybe you should do the same and explain the puppy died and had to go away to heaven, but not explain the actual mechanics of how it died?
I am sorry to hear of your puppy and I hope your little one takes it ok. x
2007-09-09 03:21:34 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh dear poor thing :(
I would tell her in as short and honest way, that puppy 'x' got out yesterday and although we loved her very much she has gone to heaven. You don't need to be specific about the car hitting her as this could give her nightmares and freak her out about cars in general.
She may get upset about it by try to console her as best as possible and maybe take her out for a treat or something she rarely gets to do but loves to do, to take her mind off it.
Are you considering getting a new puppy?, let her know if you are so she has something to look forward to.
My daughter is 5 also and although it would be really hard, she needs to know but without specific details.
Best of luck
2007-09-09 00:43:58 · answer #5 · answered by Cindy; mum to 3 monkeys! 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's unhappy at 29 that you two cannot work matters out. Perhaps counseling will support some. There must be some reason she is pushing all people away. You need to get all of it out within the open to discover what is going on along with her. You definitely nonetheless love her and of path your daughter, so give it a shot and check out to get support for her to see in case your household can also be saved. Excellent success.
2016-08-04 15:12:24 · answer #6 · answered by gerstner 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Please tell her. I had a dog that was hit and killed when I was around 7 and my parents didn't tell me. I found out what actually happened when I was a teenager and I was really pissed! At 5, she will be upset but she will deal with it in her own way. We just lost two kittens at our house and my 5 year old was upset for about 5 minutes. She cried and we talked about it and 5 minutes later she was playing as though nothing had happened. This is her first experience with death and loss, we all know she will have many more. Let her develop the skills to deal with it. I know it's sad but I think its good for kids to be let in when things like this happen, we can't shelter them from everything. Good luck
2007-09-09 04:32:01 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell her. definitely don't lie to her.
tell her that the puppy got hurt and that it can't come home. introduce the word death, but tell her the puppy isn't in pain.
let her mourn: tell her "we should talk about the funny things that we remember about the puppy" and you should also let her say goodbye somehow - maybe planting a flower? this can be a place to come think about the puppy.
and if she continues to ask questions, you don't have to get more detailed, just keep explaining that the puppy can't come home.
If you're comfortable doing so, introduce the concept of Heaven if that hasn't come up before. When doggies aren't here with us anymore, they are all up there playing together.
Don't complicate the concept, though, with things like "we all go to Heaven" or "Grandma is in Heaven" or "we'll see the puppy in Heaven". That can cause fear: when will I go to Heaven? I don't want to go! etc....
2007-09-09 00:36:17 · answer #8 · answered by MACgirl 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell her it ran away she doesn't need to know!
My twins cat got hit by a car and they saw it. I have never heard a scream like the ones that come out of my boy's mouths. I have never cried so much in my life, and i am a vet and see it every day.
Let her keep her innocents for a bit longer. She doesn't need to know. If it was a family member i would say tell, but you said it is a puppy, so i would think it hasn't been around long.
2007-09-09 00:41:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would tell her, she might suprise you... My 5 year old and 3 year old had a cat and it got hit by a car and both of them understood what had happened and took it very well, she sometimes still asks about it, but she got over it.
2007-09-09 00:42:10 · answer #10 · answered by Kristin M 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋