He tells me things that in my life have made me sad...like my adoption, and other things. He tells me I am a slut, no good, ect, that there is no use talking to me about anything...As far as realtes to my child, he TELLS me what to do, never 'discusses', then hangs up so there is no discussion. I am FORCED to deal with this (court orders, but no help with it)
2007-09-08 22:50:32 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
PS- I would really like to understand why he tries to HURT me, any ideas?
2007-09-08 22:51:39 · update #1
The question should be not why is he doing that, but how should I react and what should I do... No person says bad things about others unless he has some problem in his "Brain!".. So maybe the man was having some problems with others and is trying to relief his anger on you.. anyways, the most important is not to become like him. Be yourself and you will win..;-)
2007-09-08 22:59:37 · answer #1 · answered by Maxeem A 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it is because he feels you abandon him in the divorce. There could be other reasons but, that seems the simplest explanation.
The good news is, the courts tell you you have to deal with him, however they never said anything about being emotionally abused.
Buy a digital recorder and record your conversations with him, and tell him he is only allowed to discuss your son and if he moves off topic then you will hang up on him.
Also in the first recording, tell him upfront you will be recording the conversations from now on and that if he does not stop with the abuse you will have to take him to court. With the recordings as proof.
I have more info on my website:
http://www.UtahParentsUnderSiege.com/
Email me if you have any questions.
Good Luck.
2007-09-09 06:11:29 · answer #2 · answered by eric_the_red_101 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well im young but when my ex and I broke up he told me i was a *** and a *** up and he put me down so much that i was depressed all the time... Anyway My mom is addicted to dr.phil and I walked in and heard the show.. they were talking about jelous/insucure men.... Sorry if i spelt that wrong .. I sat down to watch it and the whole show talked about how men like to put down women and like to controll everything .. because there upset and if u put down someone else it makes you feel better about yourself....And that they are the ones who are depressed... After i watched the show i felt good about my self and my mom said wow the same thing happend to me when i was younger...
so the truth most likley is .. hes the one thats upset and depressed he just takes it out on you...
Ill try to find the show for u it should be on the site somewhere. If i do i will send it to you! i hope i helped ;]
2007-09-09 06:00:09 · answer #3 · answered by riialicious 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He does all these things exactly because he know he is hurting you and because you allow him to do that. Be strong and next time he starts talking to you like that ask him to stop. If he doesn't hang up on him first. If you do not respect yourself be sure no one will. Even if you still love and care about him you have to show him that he has to respect you, your feelings and your personality. Do not allow him to destroy your psychology. Be strong!!! Show him that you are a strong person and that you do not allow anybody treating you in a bad way.
2007-09-09 06:02:35 · answer #4 · answered by panora 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a study was done on 200 obese and ideal sized humans, the obese homosapiens produced three time as much waste from food wrappers and such than the normal sized homosapiens, and the obese primates also defecated twice as often. Should obese homosapiens be fined or imprisoned for their humankind destructive patterns?
2007-09-09 05:53:27 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
People who do things like this have low self esteem and hurt others to make themselves feel better about their own miserable existence.
Dally's answer makes more sense than mine and pretty much covers it. No one really knows why others behave the way they do.
2007-09-09 05:54:45 · answer #6 · answered by Sparkles 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i all ways say invest agate before u invest, you never know who is nuts. that who u had a baby for a nut, now the bad thing is you are stuck with this clown being in your life. next time check the man out before u sleep with him.
2007-09-09 06:00:40 · answer #7 · answered by dollar3941 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
he feels guilty for what he has done to u so to ease his own conscience he will attack u in order to make himself feel justified, if he can believe what he is saying to or about u he may feel its okay to hurt u. he doesn't like u, he doesn't even like himself. he doesn't know right from wrong because his belief system is all wrong.
2007-09-09 05:58:27 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
the question should be, why do i pay attention to him and let him hurt me? it isn't easy, but if you can't avoid the interaction, then see the hate for what it is. he is trying to dominate you as he did in the original relationship. obviously, he is succeeding.
2007-09-09 06:11:35 · answer #9 · answered by tomjohn2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You let him, and he likes your reaction.
Just past the Child over, state any
problems, then leave, or say Bye to them.
2007-09-09 06:09:18 · answer #10 · answered by elliebear 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋