...has fallen in love and has an affair with someone, does this upset you in a way?? Does it disappoint you in a way??
If yes, why do you believe it is so??
2007-09-08 21:12:26 · 22 answers · asked by Alice in Wonderbra 7 in Entertainment & Music ➔ Polls & Surveys
when I say "friend", I mean Friend. Pal... buddy.. At least that is what the people involved into this relation, have agreed to be called or believe they really are.
2007-09-08 21:51:48 · update #1
CRINGE! I am going to hope that this is not a 'loaded question', and that whatever answer I offer will not be held against me or anyone else whose reputation I might feel a bit accountable for.
Ok... I am only listing this first because it is the most likely explanation: Just because someone claims to only be friends does not necessarily exclude the possibility that somewhere in the recesses of their mind, they are secretly hoping that this 'friend' of theirs will someday become more than just a friend. Even if they don't expect it to happen anytime very soon and even if the chances are extremely slim, they may still entertain thoughts of the possibility and therefore finding out that this friend has fallen for someone else would make this possibility, however small it ever was to begin with, very promptly into an impossibility! An alternate reason for this person's feeling disappointed might be that they feel that their, or their friend's, standards weren't being met by whomever they have chosen to be intimate with. This could be because the person they've gotten together with isn't known to be a very kind or decent type, or because the friend has expressed an intention to commit some act with this individual that the person does not find morally acceptable, ie, sleeping with them before they're married or while they're married to someone else! We all hold some admiration for our friends and when one of them makes a decision we'd rather they hadn't made, for whatever reason, we will most likely feel a sense of loss or disappointment over it.
2007-09-08 22:48:43 · answer #1 · answered by ǝןqɐʇdǝɔɔɐun ʎןןɐıɔos 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am NOT one of "those" people who believe a man and woman can not truly be friends because there is always "sexual tension". I AM one of those people who believes each person has stay "in-touch" with themselves.
If they are truly a good friend, and nothing more, I'm very happy for them. I have two good friends that are male.
If, on the other hand, my good friend is someone I want for myself, then I'm a little less than thrilled if they begin seeing someone else. I wasn't always aware there could be a difference.
This happened to me, once. I had been good friends with this man for years, literally. He'd had many girlfriends, and I was pleased if he was pleased. One bright day he announced a new girlfriend, and I discovered I wasn't happy if he was happy. Took me a minute to figure out why. (It couldn't have been the person involved, I had never met her...) Finally it dawned on me. This guy should be MY guy! I finally got up the courage to say so. He stared at me a minute, and got up and left the room. I thought, oh swell, he's trying to think of way to say "thanks-but-no-thanks." When he walked back into the room,(big smile on his face) he said, "I'm sorry, I had to go in the other room to do my little YES!
dance! It's about time; I was beginning to think you would never 'get' it." (He told the other person "sorry".)
It was a long time ago, now, and the romance is over. The friendship is as strong today as it has ever been.
This is NOT what usually happens in these cases.
I have always said, "I can get a 'date' anywhere, friends are hard to come by." I believe this. The one time I've related here is the exception that proves the rule.
2007-09-08 22:36:28 · answer #2 · answered by Ja'aj };> 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have a few friends from the opposite sex and I am always happy for them when they fall in love as they are always happy for me when I fall in love.
The good thing is that we can always give advice to each other when necessary, it is quite advantageous because the beloved of the buddy is the same sex as yourself... as we all know, it is sometimes hard to understand the opposite sex. But the bad thing is that the beloved of the buddy can also be jealous of you and there is always the danger that you might lose the friendship or at least see your buddy much less often. This has happened to me recently, my one friend started to date a girl that I don't like and she doesn't like me(we have a history) and now my buddy and I don't see each other that often anymore. It is so bad that I don't even phone him over weekends. Apparently she makes him happy, so I try to be happy for him, but I don't trust that woman and I don't think she really knows how to make someone happy and I suspect that she's after his money (she had already divorced two rich men...), and my friend has two successful companies, he has 5 cars of which one is a Merc SLK... blah blah blah... I see trouble...
Oh well, I'll just be there for him when (not if) she hurts him, I have already warned him, but it's his decision in the end.
Luckily this doesn't happen to me all the time, I have been very lucky so far when my male friends get girlfriends, most of them become my friends too and one of my best friends today is a girl whom one of my male buddies got married to.
2007-09-09 01:20:01 · answer #3 · answered by Sunbeam 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If I am in competition with this friend or something. Otherwise I'd be genuinely happy for my friend. But then again, I am not sure I understand the question. So this friend is in love with someone and then cheats on this person with someone else? Like it would dissapoint me 'cause I wouldn't believe in love or something? Uh, this has happened. And I've given this feeling to other people... or something!
2007-09-09 17:29:26 · answer #4 · answered by Bunny Boiler 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that would upset me is the case in which my good friend does not find time for our relation, at all. I understand his girlfriend having priority, this is the right thing to do.
In case I would feel jealous, I would know that I am most probably in love with him and I was pushing it behind me all this time. True and simple friendship makes us feel joy about our friends being in love because being in love makes my friend happy and this is what I want for my friends, the most.
2007-09-09 02:21:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why should I be upset? On the contrary, I will be very glad if my friend has a lover and is happy. That is what friends are for, to share the happiness of their friends.
If, finally, I feel a bit jealous, or afraid of losing my friend, I should better search inside of me and see my true feeling about her. Do I consider her a friend or at the back of my head I want her for my lover?
Many people disguise their feelings, they call love the infatuation and v.v. for very many reasons. It might be confusion, immaturity, guilt .
2007-09-09 00:30:37 · answer #6 · answered by zigzag 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it wouldn't bother me if we were only friends, and if i wasn't friends with the person they are with, and the person they had the affair with. I got caught in a situation like that once, ruined three great friendship, and to this day we all still don't talk. All because two people have no self control
2007-09-09 02:01:00 · answer #7 · answered by Lazrus 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, yes, if i'm attracted to that friend in more than a friendly way, or if the person the friend is in love with isn't very kind to them. or if they sit there and go on and on about how great it is and i'm without someone at the time, that can be a bit depressing. it could be a lot of things, 'alice'... a lot of things!
2007-09-08 21:18:13 · answer #8 · answered by Capt Blackie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I love a girl from here and her man is a good friend of mine. Yes, I am upset.
2007-09-08 22:00:51 · answer #9 · answered by Paco 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I wouldn't care if I didn't have feelings for him...on the contrary, I'd feel very happy for him...I might feel jealous if I wasn't in a relationship at the time but in a good way...
2007-09-09 17:34:39 · answer #10 · answered by ele 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋