Now That It's Been Brought Up--Masturbation Question?

Question

I answered a topic which dealt with a newlywed and her new hub who she found masturbated. I noticed one posting in particular by a man who posted 'What's with all these "young" females coming in here & answering this question as though they are an expert on the subject?'

BTW: How old are you bob, and how do you know all of us are young and inexperienced???

Anyhoo.....let me start the ball rolling. I am in my mid 30's and met my former spouse at 18--he was 20. We married at 20 and 22, and divorced at 31 and 33. We each knew the other masturbated BEFORE marriage. We each knew it had NOTHING to do with sexual dissatisfaction--we had a great sex life, even long after the divorce, lol.

Could most of you actually marry someone without speaking about intimate matters such as this? Seriously? I started masturbating in my teens, and didn't stop because I had a stud at my disposal, it is great stress release and you don't have to worry about pregnancy and/or mess.

BTW there is nothing not befitting of myself on my avatar--I still get carded regularly, although I do not think it is wholly because I look young. I am a fair skinned, freckled, chubby redhead:)

I don't have hearsay regarding my ex spouse of 11 yrs and former partner of over 13--he masturbated daily, sometimes 3 or 4 times daily, not counting sex between us. Telling someone it's not normal for some guy to jerk off when they're newlywed and giving her extra cause for grief based on your opinion is asinine. You know only your own experience. I know mine. My ex and I had sex daily in the first year, and he still jerked off. He is now on marriage #2, and still jerks off daily despite their very good sex life. Some men simply have greater drives than others.

Women too, btw. My best friend masturbates about 3x a month, whereas I do it daily, sometimes 3 or more times. It is all individual, and you are no greater an expert than the rest of us.

Answer 1

I couldn't marry someone without knowing something as basic as this, I don't think. Some people still view it as dirty and refuse to acknowledge it. To each their own, I suppose.

Answer 2

there are no negative side affects to masturbation, some studies even show it is good for you. some guys masturbate up to 5 times per day so don't worry you aren't doing it that much at all. none of the rumors about what happens if you w**k are true. just enjoy it and have fun!

Answer 3

What is the problem here. I have been masturbating for years, and so does my wife. Who cares. What point are you trying to make here. And if your married or not what is the diff?. Doesn't mater how many time a day you do this. Change the subject and talk about something that is more real in life.

Answer 4

LET'S TALK TRUTH HERE :

All humans Mas...bate. If some don't do, I really don't understand them and strongly feel that they are not normal.

1. Everyone are shy about Mas...bation.
2. It is only with complete privacy you can enjoy the most
3. No one want to go on telling everyone about it
4. It is a natural process, like having food etc.
5. Please give them privacy
6. only becuase you are wife / or husband, it doesn't mean that you should know how many times a person Mas...bates or when he / she does.
7. It is one happiness they get it for free in life without anyone's help
8. Freedom in this aspect of life is very important
9. No one has right to invade in to the privicy of others (unless they themselves opens out to you).
10. It is not fair for even asking or not a compulsion to someone to answer the truth in this matter.

ANSWER : EVERYONE DOES, MANY A TIMES FROM THEIR TEEN AGES

FEEL SAD FOR THOSE WHO DON'T

APPRECIATE THOSE WHO DO AND ENJOY LIFE IN THEIR OWN WAY

CONDEMN THOSE WHO DISTURB OTHERS PRIVACY

Answer 5

I couldn't marry someone without talking about it. I started masturbating before my teens, I broke my hymen masturbating and I didn't stop when I started having sex or when I got into a serious relationship. Hell, sometimes I'll play with myself during sex! And everyone knows that sometimes masturbation really is better than sex.

Some men think that women don't masturbate or that women don't have a sexuality and therefore know nothing about sex and masturbation or that men are oh so different than women that we can't even begin to understand them! It's stupid. This guy sounds like the typical misogynistic moron who's wife has to deny him sex because he's so bad at it!! He thinks he's a god in bed and therefore decides that it's the fault of women that he's not getting any.

Answer 6

I agree with you 100%! I masturbate, so does my significant other, and sometimes in front of each other. I also cannot fathom the idea of not knowing this fact about your partner before getting married in this day and age.

Perhaps, there may be a cultural/religious difference. Some religions forbid masturbation and only have sex to make babies (not for pleasure).

Answer 7

No I wouldnt marry / live with or date any man that wasnt capable of communicating about such issues if they want to hide what they do like its some dirty little secret (ie:what was he doing getting caught , also from previous posts) , your not kids if you have to hide the fact you do it from your wife because your scared of how she'll re-act or your scared she'll whop ya 1 then dont do it simple as that.

Marriage and sexuality is for grown up's if you cant be an adult about everything dont pretend to be an adult by saying I do .

It annoys me so much that men hide the fact they are doing it I cant count the amount of time's my husband has gotten up for work early and because he forgot to give me sex before 10;30 the night before , he was sitting on line watching female's on cam from other countries (didnt matter if they were dressed or naked) and masturbating he'd hear me coming out and stop and try and hide what he was doing like I am some stupid lil kid who didnt know what he was doing pffffffffffft.

I didnt care he was watching women on cam he can watch them all he wants , he can look at porn pictures all he wants , he can read sex stories all he wants , long as he came to me to finish what he started I really didnt have a problem with it period.It was just the fact he felt the need to hide he was masturbating like a 14 year old who discovered it for the very 1st time.

If women dont see anything wrong in it why on earth hide it from us , and as to the guy who said we had no right commenting on it , doesnt stop you from commenting on why women do what they do does it? so dont flip the shoe if you dont want it landing back in your lap.

As to the stress relief yes it is good for that not so sure on the mess I could make the same amount of mess as I could with my husband helping lmao.

Answer 8

It was discussed before marriage, but how many people are forthcoming about the issue when not happily screened by an avatar? Sex belongs in my mariage, and that includes masturbation. If my husband wants to do the job himself, he's welcome to do so, but I expect to be present. The reverse is also true.

Answer 9

i do frequently, whereas my gf doesnt, ever. when she learned that i do she actually became more sensitve on the issue because she thought maybe she wasnt doing the job, but the thing is, its just something to release yourself. good way to go to sleep, and relief stress, we are in our mid 20's

Answer 10

Wow, really....these are eye openers... but I agree that partners should talk about all things (including sex), before proceeding to marriage.