how do i tell my friend her baby doesnt smell rihgt?

Question

a friend of mine has 4 month old boy and he has a sour milk smell to his hair. he doesnt smell like a baby he isn't breast fed but a few of us are trying to work out how to tell her without her breaking down she already suffers from pnd adn feels like a bad mum coz he's rolled off the couch and she wasn't making his formula properly or should we just mind our own business

Answer 1

It doesn't sound like a good situation. Is she okay? Does she need more help? What can you do to ease her stress at this time? Offer to babysit and let her relax a while? Is she taking anything for her PND? It bothers me that she wasn't making his formula properly. Mixing it in the wrong proportions or what? Rolling off the couch, well, it happens.

My real reason for answering this is to say that the way a baby smells might be a clue to a medical problem. My son never smelled like a baby. I noticed it. No one had to tell me. He smelled more like vomit than anything. Well, I found out that he was allergic to his formula and had GERD. I got his formula changed and some medication, and guess what. He started to smell like a baby. If his formula isn't agreeing with his body, it's going to make him smell bad (it seems like common sense to me now, but I never thought of it at the time). I'm just saying that there may be other reasons for a bad smelling baby other than hygiene issues. Does he seem to have any other health problems? Rashes, digestive issues, fussiness? If so, you might suggest that she take him to see the doctor.

I say, in this situation, don't tell her. You really don't want to make her feel worse than she already does. You could offer to babysit to give her a break and bathe him while you do. See if he smells better afterwards. If you really feel the need to say something, try to make it very gentle.

Answer 2

That's a tough one. I was maybe a little obsessive when it came to keeping my daughter spotless but I'm proud of that. I have family and friends whose baby's weren't clean at all. Maybe you can play dumb and say something like, "Oh no, he must have spit up some formula and it got in his hair." You could also offer to bathe him saying you want the practice (if you don't have kids yet) or to remember the memories (if you do have kids). Don't point out anything to make her feel bad, just put it on yourself or remark how babies are such a handful. My daughter rolled off the couch too, didn't get hurt, and I wanted to be the best mom ever. I cried for a long time. She didn't even make a sound. I don't think you should mind your own business because you are worried about the baby and how other's will judge her. A true friend with help a friend out but because of her depression, I would approach carefully. Also, you don't want the baby to cradle cap. Good luck!

Answer 3

I'm guessing you don't have kids. That new baby smell doesn't last long. My 6 mo old gets a bath daily, but she still often smells sour because she spits up a LOT. We change her clothes and bibs all day long, but I'm not gonna dunk her in the tub every hour just so she smells like a Johnson & Johnson commercial (haha! TV doesn't smell!).

Give it a rest. If he's got welts all over his body or is growing a third eye, THAT is when you intervene. Otherwise, let her be.

Answer 4

Just make a comment or joke about it and see what she says. Maybe her baby gets milk on it and it drys. That can smell sometimes. If you are afraid though it might hurt her then do not say anything its not worth it. As long as the baby is healthy and happy..a little sour smell isn't that bad and it will probally get taken care of by the mom eventually.

Answer 5

I'd say, "hey, I think your little bean spit up and it ran in his hair, it smells a bit sour."

Before a bath my guy often smells sour from having milk spray all over him, he spits up and it will run down his face, in his ear, his hair or wherever, he drools milk out and it hides our under his triple chin...

If you know she's feeling this way offer her a lot of help. Perhaps she's not doing everything she ought to for the baby because she's struggling with herself. Go give her a break for an hour or two, let her sleep or soak in the tub, and bath the little guy yourself to see if he smells better. Do her dishes too! I'd love if a friend would come and do that for me and I'm not depressed!

Good Luck.

Answer 6

He might have formula in his hair or under his chin or behind his ears. Formula and milk get into strange places! I would buy a bath set for her and ask if you can help her give him a bath. You could also maybe just say something like "oh did he get formula spilled in his hair?" That way its not exactly saying "ok you need to give your kid a bath" but she may get the point. I wouldnt press on it though if she doesnt start giving the baby more baths after that.

Answer 7

she needs help...with as many of you around that notice this, someone should be able to step up and offer to give the baby a bath, and then help the mom change the sheets on the crib and make sure that everything gets washed up.

I don't mean to sound blunt, but lack of hygiene for the baby noticed by a stranger could get her a visit from child protective services. As harsh as that may sound, having someone show up to inspect your home and check on your baby is far worse than a friend saying " I can tell that you are struggling, let me help you with the baby".

Answer 8

The baby probably isnt being bathed often enough. The sour milk smell is probably from milk dribbling down the chin and into the neck folds, or if he's ever fed with his head to the side it could be dribbling into his hair. It happens.
Maybe tell her that she may not know that now that her baby is older he can have more frequent baths. She may still be in newborn mode.

Answer 9

So he smells. Big whoop. All babies get that smell. As long as she is bathing him properly, or even at all, then you shouldn't be concerned. As for her, she shouldn't feel like a bad mom for messing up on the other two things, Lots of babies roll of couches and beds and stuff all the time. It's dosen't make her a bad parent, it just means shes human. I wouldn't make a big fuss about the child smelling bad unless she isn't bathing him.

Answer 10

Is this a constant thing? Is she capable of taking care of a baby? I might try say if they are visiting & you are holding him, after you have help him up close. When she is close so she can hear you, Look at the baby just & talk to him something like, "wow, did you make a mess this morning? I think you got your milk in your hair instead of your belly". Stand up, & just get a warm wash cloth & wash his little head a bit. MAYBE she would get the hint......... we can hope.