Why is he so upset? 10 points for the best answer. Thank you?

Question

My ex boyfriend have been manipulated me for 3 years. He wanted to move on with his future. After asking him a few time for the truth, but no answer from him. I wrote this to him:

Hi Hun,

I am sorry to annoy you again. I just want to say "Good Bye" My dream is over and it's time for me to wake up.

I do not angry at you at all. Actually, I want to thank you for everything. Well, I am now going to focus on the future ( work and school). Hopefully, I find someone I really like and be able to open up to him :)

I wish you all the best also. You are a great person. I am sure you will be successful one day. Keep up the good work Hun :)

Thank you,

ME

*****
He was upset and blocked me from his website. I know I am doing the right things.

He did not tell me the truth---Why he so upset?

Thank you so much for your kindness

What do you think of my letter?

Answer 1

He's a guys.. That's a start. We all get upset when a young lady beats us to the punch... (no pun). Anyway, he can be upset for several reasons:
1. You were easy to manipulate, and he liked having that power. Because breaking in someone new is not going to be easy.
2. You beat him to the punch in the break-up arena. Guys hate rejection, they'd rather deliever the final blow.
3. He really is crazy about you... I doubt that.

I can say "good for you!" Now, move on with your life because there is so much out here. I'm having a great time. I've been all over the world and I never had to pay for it out of my own pocket. Enjoy life! You deserve it!

Answer 2

The fact that you moved on i cannot say if this is right or wrong simply because maybe somthing happened to him and he may tend to bottle things up rather then open up to people, even you. I really liked your letter because you are making a choice to live better then you were treated.

I dont like the fact that he was choosing to manipulate you because that kind of thing for one angers me and secondly puts a "bad taste in your mouth" come the next guy that you are with. Ok so he blocked you from his website, hes angry because you left him, but the fact that you left him was the best decision. Later down the road I hope that you find the person of your dreams and that nothing gets in your way.
Good luck in school and I hope everything turns out well for you...but then again it always does. :)

Answer 3

I'd make an educated guess that consciously, and perhaps mostly unconsciously, he feels like the cad he is. You only remind him of that fact. You probably don't even want to admit that to yourself or that you picked a loser. Can you imagine a life like that. It would soon wear on you. Pay now or pay later, with two children. You pays your money, you takes your choice. Being a guy I understand him and get that. I try so hard, but lordy, do I fail? Yes, I do. If you don't learn about emotions, they can rake you over the coals. He's on the coals himself. If you want out of all that, read my profile. Actually you're bright enough to get this stuff and could actually help him. He wasn't getting the help from you he believed he would as he obviously has a problem. I like to help people, whether they appreciate it or not, even if they don't deserve it. In a way they do, they just don't know any better. If you know better, you can pass it on, but you must be at a bit higher level than you might think to help some one else. You're actually feeling his pain and yours, if you can see that. You were bound to feel it one way or the other. He can't handle his life so he tried to handle your's instead and couldn't do that either. You know men tend to have an ego problem anyway.

Answer 4

Because I don't know the whole situation it is hard to say but if he wanted to move on with his future and didn't include you in that future than you totally did the right thing. Letting go can be hard whether he was manipulating or not. When you spend that much time with someone you have feelings for them no matter what. And to see the finality of it must be upsetting. To know that you care enough to say okay have your space I still think you are great and I am moving on can crush anyone. I say just give him time maybe that is what he needs and if he wants to get in touch with you he knows how......you left that door open for him.

Answer 5

Honestly...it sounds like you really cared about him, and you very upset by this and I understand how that feels....but you did the same thing I did, and I hated learning from it. So let me tell you now so you dont have to go through the painful process. The letter sounded desparate. "My dream is over and it's time for me to wake up."? Very poetic, but to a guy, thats stalker material.
Back away from him. Be happy. Show that YOU are a REAL woman and can live a good life without a man!
Once you get some serious girl power on your side, he will want you back but by then you will be "so over him"
Your letter was very poetic.

Answer 6

Sounds to me like you did everything you could to make this relationship work. The fact that you were in this relationship for 3 years and he wasnt willing to make it a committed relationship from BOTH parties you finally had both the smarts and the gutts to 'draw the line in the sand' regarding your relationship. So many young females I have known over the years have wanted a relationship to work so much that they turned their whole lives upside down and still their guy didnt appreciate their efforts.
I guess this is where that book that was published a few years back called, He Just Aint That In To You, really applies. Having that kind of slap of honesty can be devistating to a female who has bulit all of her own self worth/self esteem on 'belonging to/being with this man.' Having someone want you and you finally knowing that your relationship with that person needs TWO people working on it to make it last it tough.
Just the fact that you had the gutts to write this letter to him and you let him know that you love him but that that level of love has to come from both people in the relationship.
Why is he angry? Maybe he feels threatened or vulnerable. Maybe he thought had some kind of control over you. Maybe he has finally had reality hit him in the face and knows now he used up all your nice girl, polite, patient person points and you know(deep down inside) that you are worth more than the crumbs of caring he has shared with you.
The weeks and months ahead will be tough. There will be times you will be alone. There will be times that either you wish you could go back to him or he might contact you and try to 'make nice' with hoping that you will take him back. I just hope that you can stand your ground in this decision. You deserve better than this sham of a relationship. He might try to sabataque your decision and you will just have to maintain these new boundaries. If he ever hopes to have you back, he needs to do some serious personal growth; sounds like you did some growing/maturing and he just came along for the ride.
Males have always had major vulnerablilty issues and one thing I learned a long time ago was that it was always easier and safer for a person to be angry at someone than to have to feel sad, lost, betraided, or lonely. Men use anger alot because it helps save face and that way they can blame others instead of looking in the mirror at the person who is most responsible for where this relationship has ended. Take Care.

Answer 7

He's like any other man. They don't want to lose. They want to say the last word. They want to leave you but they don't want to be left. They are selfish. They can't accept that a woman is not begging them to stay. In their arrogance they can't understand why she's not worshiping them.

They may not be in love with a woman, but they expect that woman to adore them. They feel that if a woman says good bye to them they'll stop being men. They just can't accept it.

They will not admit that the woman doesn't want them anymore. That's almost a blasphemy.

How dares she......!!!

Your bf is not the only one. Also it's probably not the last man you'll meet that does this, so be prepared. Maybe one lucky day you'll learn to understand men.

I liked your letter very much. You have class, girl.
.

Answer 8

Hopefully, I find someone I really like and be able to open up to him :)
Thats why he is upset because of what you said there. And I think he expected you to be all angry and hurt and you are taking it pretty calm. Great letter by the way.

Answer 9

you have to give your self permission not to have to understand his insanity. You can't. He's the one with the problems. In fact, I think I dated this guy, or some one just as coo koo as him. Look at "The verbally abusive relationship" its all about control and manipulation. Learn the signs so you don't get involved with some one else like him. You sound like a sweet girl who deserves a man who doesn't play games and lie to her. Hold out for whats best for you. Who needs someone who's going to make them sick with worry and craziness. Say good bye to the cooocooo head, and by the way, he doesn't sound like such a nice guy. So, you let him off the hook easy. As time goes by you won't feel so good about him, and hopefully you'll meet some one who is honest and communicates with you. Tah. and you shouldn't have to say "I'm sorry to annoy you" to him He's not your father or the King. Your not beneath him, always remember that, a woman must choose wisely for herself. Throw that stinky fish back in the water, and catch you a new one.

Answer 10

It looks as though you have done something to hurt him badly. Either that or he is just a jerk!

It could be simply that he used you for a good time for a while and then moved on to another good time gal. (This is the most likely situation.)
For some men, I LOVE YOU means I want to have sex with you and nothing else.

You clearly said nothing in your letter that was hurtful. It is time for YOU to move on. He has blocked you because he wants nothing more to do with you.

And he is not upset, he just wants you out of his life.