I'm 28 now and I have been in a very committed 3 year long relationship with a 22yo girl and we now have 2 children. A 2yo and a 2 month old. We have lived together almost the entire time and at times I admit I have treated her bad by ignoring her, arguing and not always meeting her sexual needs mainly due to our 1st child being in the same room as us and me not paying as much attention to her as she deserved. So she went back to work and I took some time off to watch the kids. Now i'm a loser for watching our 2 children, cooking, cleaning etc. Not an easy job at all. Around Christmas, 1 month pregnant with our 2nd child she broke up with me and continued to live under the same roof. So now and we still live together and still have sex sometimes. She told me the other day after sex that she has been having sex with a co-worker from month 2 of pregnancy to month 8 and she's still interested in him. She cried when she told me and I know she regrets it. I love her and my kids even more.
2007-09-08 17:53:25 · 22 answers · asked by dank1four20 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
First of all, i'm really sorry for what you two have endured. Becoming parents is a tough change all in itself. What you need to do is figure out if you can find it in your heart to forgive her for being intimate with her coworker. Do you think you can let something like that go, especially when she was pregnant with your child at the time? She has to be willing to try, too. She has to be willing to give up on the other guy and put her focus back into her family if you guys are going to make this work. If she cried, then it hurt her to have to tell you that and that's probably a sign that she really does want things to work. So make some private time for the two of you and talk things over. Tell her you need to know what she wants or you need to move on because you can't stay in that situation forever..you're holding up your own life. You're not a loser for taking care of your kids...you're a great father for taking the time with them. It's not an easy job by any means. I wish you the best!
2007-09-08 18:03:53 · answer #1 · answered by ♫Joshua's~♥~Girl♫ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Infedelity can be a very difficult obstacle in a relationship. I would first remind you that your children will always be your children. Whichever choice you make, the structure of your family is likely to change. The fact that you ask thae question reveals one of two scenarios. 1 that you are very confused right now. or 2 that you arent as commited as it would take to see it through. If you are confused, I suggest opening a new channel of communication through a counseler. Your wife and you should attend together. Make sure the decision you make is one not made in haste, but upon your feelings, knowledge, and beliefs. If she has feelings for another, it may not be enough for you to decide. You would both have to mak a commitment to working very hard. There are no perfect relationships. Good relationships are spawned from two people who put a lot of work into it. If the case is the latter(you are not commited, but are afraid of the effect on the children so you would stay for their benefit) I would suggest you consider that you are a living example to them. Staying in a non-productive relationship most likely will have a very negative affect on how they socialize and pursue relationships on their own. The most important thing is that whichever decision you make is made rationally, with the best interests of the children outweighing any other issues that arrise. Try not to get them caught up in the bickering. Either way a councelor can provide an atmosphere and assistance needed for the two of you to come to a decision. It is imperitive that we not lose sight of our most valuable prizes, the children.
2007-09-09 01:17:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I totally think it's worth it. It really does seem like you we're being a butthole to her and she acted out to hurt you like how you hurt her. It also has something to do with her age too. I don't think she fully realizes what she did but if she cried, you better know she has regrets and feels sorry for what she did. She still loves you, she's just afraid to admit it. How could she not? You have two kids that you need to work this situation out for. It seems like you love your children and her very much and you better fight for her and ask her to put the other guy back where he belongs in the scum bucket tank for having sex with a pregnant and vulnerable girl instead of being a supportive friend. I really hope everything works out for the best Dank!
Jon
2007-09-09 07:28:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok this is tricky - you helped create this situation, as you know. Here's the thing - what is best for the kids? Can you really love your wife the way she deserves to be loved? Is this other person prepared to commit to her and provide for her? If so, they may be best to marry. There is nothing wrong with her being interested in him (it's not him, but the love and care that she is craving - he is just the available supply). Are you prepared to love her in a way that your children can see and believe in? Happy children come from a happy home! Do what is best for the children - 2 homes is not easy, neither is a divided marriage. It seems to me that all the power here is in your hands.
2007-09-09 01:04:57 · answer #4 · answered by faithwrkz 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.
Well, I think she was to young for you.
She should not of had kids at her age, she obviously feels as if she missed out.
You should have treated her with more respect, but it also sound like she should have treated you better also.
Try it, you have two kids to consider. But be more understanding if there is a next time. If you are working and she is home, lend a hand now that you know how NOT easy it is.
2007-09-09 01:06:31 · answer #5 · answered by Megan 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know she feels bad. But i believe the saying once a cheater always a cheater. and im not so sure that cheating on a marriage is good. I mean thats alot of commitment broken into. And thats not love of her to do that. I would say brake up. But then again if she really feels she loves you .Well but i would brake it up. Shes not worth it anymore . She dont love you nomore she wants her co-worker.
2007-09-09 01:00:40 · answer #6 · answered by xMeggybabyx 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just confess your feelings to her. nd if she still has sex with the other man then she obviously doesnt want to be with you. follow your heart. do what you think is best for you nd your children. you are both very young nd have your whole life ahead of you. dont rush things. take time nd sit down with her nd tlk to her. maybe she will understand how you feel nd maybe she feels the same. tell her how you feel about the other guy, nd tell her how much you love her. if you happen to be home from work a while before she gets home, make her a nice romantic dinner, dont bring up anything about the other guy. i know its hard to have a romantic night with 2 kids, maybe try hiring a bby siter for a few hours. nd after dinner clean up nd set up a nice hot bubble bath for her. nd after she gets out nd gets dressed tlk to her. tell her how you feel. let her know that you love her nd you hate seeing her with another man. but if she is happy wih him then you are happy as long as she is happy. there is nothing wrong with getting on the sensative side with her for a while. nd normally when you are girls tend to find it "attractive". :] hope i helped.
good luck.
2007-09-09 01:08:29 · answer #7 · answered by Fo shizz Autumn<3 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ummm no damn foo watchu crazy she obviously doesn't like you
no more if she has sex with someone else, she's tired of you sorry man but it's the truth.
If you're intimate with someone and they have sex with someone else she obviously doesn't feel the same, she regrets it yeah man words go far but if you aint a mind reader you can't fo further.
Just keep the kids leave the b itch.
2007-09-09 08:53:20 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person that can answer your question is you. You need to look inside yourself and ask "Can I really trust her" and "Is this going to happen again?" and "Can we get past this situation together" If you don't know the answer to these questions then it might not be worth the trouble. I hope you find the answer that you are looking for and I wish you the best.
2007-09-09 01:07:21 · answer #9 · answered by jessica a 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like she wants to be honest and talk about her feelings about your relationship. ask her what she thinks about staying in your relationship.
my only advice is that you should not stay together JUST for the sake of the children. your children are little.....they will be fine either way...my daughter was turning two when her dad moved out, and she is a happy and healthy preschooler now.
you should be with each other because your love for each other is real....because you genuinely love each other and want to stay together. not just for the kids.
good luck to you
2007-09-09 01:02:07 · answer #10 · answered by breeze 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋