Co sleeping with your baby?

Question

I have a 3 week old that I am nursing. He usually goes to bed around 11 after eating and will sleep in his bed until 2 or 3 in the morning and then he wakes up and eats. After he eats that feeding he will not sleep in his own bed. His bed is in my room but he will not go back to sleep unless he is sleeping next to me. I don't mind it except my husband is clueless about the baby being in the bed so I have to sleep on one side and keep him next to me at the edge of the bed and holding on to him. I don't know how to get him to go back to sleep or keep sleeping in his bed. I don't sleep well when he is with me for fear of rolling on him, or covering him with my blankets and having something bad happen. I also have a two year old who won't let me sleep in and I am very exhausted and looking for tips. Any Ideas are really appreciated!!!

Answer 1

My friend bought a "co-sleeper" bed attachment for her bed because of the same problem. It's like an extension that attaches to the side of the bed and it has sides on it for safety. Worked wonders. Her baby thought it was in the bed, and they still had room.

Answer 2

I have an 8 week old who does the same thing, she won't sleep unless she is in bed with us and it is not OK for a little baby to have to "cry it out" they need love and attention.

You could try the co-sleeper if you are not comfortable with hubby but it is very unlikely that anything will happen as you both have an awareness of the baby even if it doesn't seem like it. Also right now he is still so little at just 3 weeks in only a few more weeks he will be bigger and seem less "fragile" so you should be able to sleep better.

I also have a two year old so I know the feeling. I get up and make her breakfast and then lay on the couch with the baby while my two year old watches PBS and it is great! I geat a little rest while nursing & she gets to eat and to learn a little something..

Co-sleeping has actually been shown to lower the risk of SIDS due to the Mothers ability to intervene in the event the baby stops breathing.. I personally experienced this with my baby just a few weeks ago. She had chocked on spit up and was not making a sound but she was kicking and squirming around.. I was so scared but she ended up fine I don't know what would have happened if she had been in her own bed because I wouldn't have heard anything on a monitor.

Best of luck!

Answer 3

first off congrats on the new one!
Im having the same problem! co-sleeping is recommended through the world but if it's causing you to lose sleep a few things you can try to get your baby to sleep on his own.

Swaddling him tightly in a recieving blanket could give him the illusion of being held. (mine isn't so easily tricked) but this is what I do (my baby being three weeks also)
I feed her and burp then I wrap her tight and rock her to sleep. I use a bassinet next to my bed so what I figured out was rolling blankets up and putting them on both sides of her so that it's a tighter squeeze in the bassinet and it really helps. and you you can take a big fluffy blanket fold it up a little in the bed and lay the top half of his body on it so he is a little propped up the way he is when you hold him in the crook of your arms and just make it tight and cozy for him. Let the blanket surround him a little but not the point that it can get in his face. If this doesnt wrk I have a lot more tips just e-mail me [e-mail] and good luck I know it's really hard right now but things will get better

Answer 4

When baby wakes up in the middle of the night. Make sure that it is very calm time. No bright lights. No talking. No singing. It is not a social time for bonding at that time of the night. When you put baby back down the baby feels the warm spot gone, and mommy gone too.
Try putting the blankets on where baby sleeps and take away when you lay baby down again. also pat baby on back and say SHHHHHHHHHHH you can say is pretty loud. This sound reminds baby of your heart beat that was in the womb.

I personally never ever could fall back asleep if one of the kids were in the bed. My daughter has done it and also my sister has done it. But they also make sure that the baby doesn't get spoiled and expect mommys bed to be the only bed to sleep in.

As soon as you figure out what baby needs..they change their schedual

Answer 5

I am doing the same thing with my 12 week old. I put him to sleep in his bassinet and then I go to bed and when he wakes up a few hours later I put him beside me in the bed without turning on the lights or talking to him before hes fully awake and nurse him. Eventually we both fall back asleep. I plan on doing this until he starts sleeping though the night (hopefully soon!) But I don't think there's anything wrong with it, and co sleeping has gotten a bad reputation because moms are putting the baby to bed with them at first of the night. I think that it's the best way since both of you are getting your rest. I actually woke up last night to him nursing all by himself lol I thought it was adorable.
There is no point in waking him up to put him in his bed and then having to stay up with him until he goes back to sleep, then wondering if you can put him in his cradle.
Try sleeping by the wall instead if your bed is by the wall so that the baby will be more safe. I do that because my fiance is also clueless about the baby too. You're doing everything fine so don't worry. Once he starts sleeping all night, all you'll have to do is put him in his bed and that will be that!
Good luck to you congrats

Answer 6

My husband and I slept with both of our children. If you look at the actual statistics (not just what so and so say), the chances of actually rolling onto your baby are very slim. Also, infant mortality is MUCH lower in countries where co-sleeping is the norm. We did end up getting a queen size bed though. That made me more comfortable thinking the baby wouldn't roll out, etc. The kids still come in from time to time and crawl in bed with us. I wouldn't change our times sleeping together for anything.

If you do decide differently however, I have heard wonderful things about the co-sleepers that can be attached to your bed.

Answer 7

This is a topic that people are always either strongly for or strongly against. Personally, I'm all for co-sleeping if you can do it safely. My 6 mo old daughter sleeps with us - her on one side, me in the middle, hubby on the other side - and we put two toddler bed rails side by side on the baby's side of the bed, so that it is impossible for her to roll off, and then stuff pillows between the head of the mattress and the wall. Knowing that she can't get hurt helps me sleep better, and I wouldn't trade the bonding experience for anything.

As for crying it out - no way. Not at 3 weeks old. They do not understand "self soothing" at this age, and won't for months. When he cries, he needs something. Responding to him will NOT spoil him - in fact, statistics show that babies whose cries are met promptly cry less than those who are left to cry it out.

Answer 8

At about 3 months he started having a few nights where he slept through the night. He is almost 4 months now and on average wakes 1 to 2 times to feed, more if he is having a bad night. Every once and a while he will sleep through the whole night though, gives me a heart attack each time!

Answer 9

My daughter always slept in our bed when she was breastfeeding. The best thing for us, since my husband was a heavy sleeper, was to put the bed up against the wall and I would sleep with her on that side. Then he wouldn't roll on top of her in his sleep.
I've always wished we had had one of those co-Sleeping beds for her though. They attach to your bed and then you can also put on a side and use it like a bassinet once they are asleep.
As my daughter got older we would lay her baby mattress on the floor of our room and I would nurse her there, then climb into our bed once she fell asleep.
You're doing a great job! Breastfeed is the Best Feeding! :-) Your baby is getting the two most important things that he needs right now from you, Love (shown in the intimacy of breastfeeding) and Immunities that he is not making on his own.
Great Job Mommy!!!

Answer 10

Do some research regarding co-sleeping. It is actually quite safe and beneficial to both baby and parents. Others have suggested the Arms reach co-sleeper and that is a great idea. There is also a safety sleeper that fits between you and your husband and prevents you from rolling over onto the baby. Also, before you consider letting the baby cry as others have suggested, do some research about unconsoled crying; it is actually very unhealthy and detrimental to infant development. When infants are left to cry it out, they eventually do stop because they learn that it is pointless to cry since no one will respond anyway. Very sad. Dr. Sears has some great advice concerning infant sleep, you should check it out!