Am I a bad person? (open minded people preferred)?

Question

I am 19 to college to be a psychiatrist, since my friends come to me for advice since I'm honest and experianced alot. I enjoy doing that, I try to be a good person.But sometimes l feel like I'm bad and even a whore,since I lost my virginity at 15 and have been with 18 guys since them, only because I liked them or it feels right in the heat of the moment, most I regret some I don't, and This guy I been "talking to" I ended up sleeping with, I thought he got me pregnant but it just seemed like it.I but abortion was concidered mutually since we both don't want kids, but it was out out of fear, because my mom was 17 when she had me,and it was hard for me growing up.But I later found out I wasn't, but I still had nightmares from the guilt, then one of my friends post a myspace anti-abortion bulletin as in the unborn childs point of view from 1-6mos. telling the mom updates on growth, then gets to the abortion part and still loves her, that made me feel even worse, am I too hard on myself

and in my dream I had a kid that I just found out about (wierd I know) I followed her tracks, to get to her and when I do, she's inside this place and when I go to hold her in my arms, I fall into this trap that cut me up, she looked down at me and smiled and laughed

Answer 1

I think you need to cut yourself some slack. Tomorrow is another day and a chance to start fresh. Forget even tomorrow...you can start new right now if you want. If you feel like you don't like a certain behavior, find out what you can do to change it. Maybe you put yourself in a position with men that makes it very hard to say no. Like somewhere private. Don't go to a private place. Keep things public and get to know them. Sex is wonderful but if you give it to just anyone, it becomes not so special. Everyone deserves to know how great it is to love one person and make love, not sex.

Whatever it is you want to do, you have to promise to love yourself and forgive yourself. You can change the things you do...it just takes a little work.

Good luck!

Answer 2

Most of the myspace bulletins that are on touchy subjects like abortion are biased propoganda. Abortion is only legal within the first 12 weeks because brainwaves don't begin until after that point. So the "baby" does not feel any pain, emotional or physical, and certainly isnt capable of judging you.

I'm not saying I support abortion or think that it's a good thing; I just believe women should have the right to choose. And I think you are being a bit too hard on yourself, especially because you turned out not to be pregnant in the first place.

Answer 3

You might not be very far along in your education since you are so young. However, you will find that psychiatrist and psychologist do not judge if people are bad or not, that is left to religions not health professionals. What health professionals do is diagnose if a person is suffering from a particular set of conditions and attempt to assist them. In fact most psychologist and counselors accept that all people are worthy of love and respect but this does not mean that their behavior is always acceptable to society (or even to their selves).

How exactly is listening to your friends and attempting to be helpful something that makes you a bad person?

As for sex welcome back to the Victorian age in conservative America, While these days people probably would be wise to practice safe sex it is religions that teaches sex outside of marriage is wrong (notice that there are no laws against this) so that is up to you and your religious beliefs (if any). Michel Foucault a french philosopher has some excellent books on the history of sexuality.

Again abortion is a religious issue but the Supreme Court of the US has determined that it is your legal right. Being a man I don't really have anything else to say on this issue that I consider very personal.

It sounds to me like you are being pretty hard on yourself but the real question is do you think you are?

Michael John Weaver, M.S.

Answer 4

Calm down, take a deep breath, maybe two or three. It sounds like you have done a lot of growing up in the last four or five years. Part of growing up is making mistakes and learning from them. Don't be too hard on yourself. You are young and it's okay to make mistakes - just try not to keep making the same ones. Take some time for yourself sometimes and reflect on how far you have come - growing and maturing. I'm sure you can think of a few things you have done in the past that you'll never do again. Assuming you can, you now have confirmation that you are learning and maturing. The span of our entire life is and should be - a continuous learning and growing experience. Good luck!

Answer 5

1 - You need to take better care of yourself. And have more respect for yourself. Don't expect your partner to take care of you. CARRY PROTECTION!! Pregnancy is not the only thing you need to be worried about. There are things much worse. And if you think having a baby young will make things difficult, consider the possibility of a disease with no cure. You're better than that.

2 - As someone studying to go into a helping profession, I would most definitely urge you to consider counseling. It's a common practice for those in the field to seek therapeutic sources, quite honestly. You need all the help you can get when you are absorbing all of the horrors of someone else's life hour after hour. And honestly, if your head isn't in the right place to start out with, if you aren't using your own good judgment, how can you be of assistance to anyone else? You need to take care of you first.

3 (& final) - Being the advice person doesn't mean you should do that full - time. At this point, you should be exploring your options to see what fits you best. If you find you aren't able to separate your personal stuff from the professional, it's going to be a problem for you in practice. Being in counseling yourself may help you determine if it's the right course of action for you.

Hope that all helps, and doesn't sound preachy or judgmental. I just don't want to see someone commit themselves to something that isn't right for them, only to be terribly unhappy and miserable. It really isn't the right job for everyone.

Answer 6

You are not a bad person at all. If you were ready to sleep with someone when you were 15 then that was you decision as long as you did not regret. Even if you had regretted it you wouldn't be a bad person. Also everyone has different views on abortion. Sometimes it is the right decision for certain people.

Answer 7

Just don't sleep with anymore people. Maybe part of the reason you are doing this is you are looking to be loved? Maybe by a male figure if you've never had one in your life?
Just go to a counsellor and talk about some of these issues and it will help you because you'll have a lot more support and start to feel better hopefully.
It's ok about the abortion because at least, you were never pregnant but it's a sign you need to stop.
But good luck on being a psychiatrist, I hope it works out for you and you really enjoy it. :)

Answer 8

Well, you have a heavy guilt on you for your behaviours, and it is your own conscience that is telling you to change yourself. Just because you give advice and have "experience" doesn't mean you're going to be guilt-free. We are all guilty of imperfection, and all our own worst critics. Put it this way, at least you have a conscience and it is advising you to make things right. There are people who do far worse, and have no remorse, due to mental problems or drug use. You can make things better for yourself, you're only 19, and 18 encounters is a bit on the excessive side. Also, you know that bringing a child into the world at the wrong time the wrong circumstances is not what you want to do. Listen to your heart, it is telling to to shape up.

Answer 9

Yes you are being to judge mental, about your behavior.
In your studies, for a physiological degree, you will study, Human Sexuality, and Ethic's. your questions, will be answered emphatically then.
Until then, since you are enjoy sex, I would suggest you go to your doctor, they will tell you the birth control, that best suits you needs, take it and you will no longer have to face the quandary of abortion.
Your nightmares, are coming from the guilt, anxiety that you are feeling. The type of anxiety, (Moral Anxiety), is deeply rooted in the super ego. I am somewhat surprised that you are not aware of this, since that info. would be included in your studies, however talk with your psycho. Prof., he will be happy to explain them in depth to you. Remember to view thing in an objective context, even your own behavior. Hope this is helpful.

Answer 10

You are not a bad person, and I think you should work on your confidence and finding your true self before you start giving others advice. Your sexual expiermentation is normal in college but you should be very careful and be a little more picky. You have not made any mistakes that every other woman has in her life. Just focus on school and all will fall into place. Cheer up!