I have been a relationship with my husband for 14 years, we have 2 kids together, in our relationship, i have been on drugs and cheated behind his back, he still stayed beside me, i got of drugs and change my hole life around, but every time the kids did somthing wrong it was my fault, he would say things like well it probley from how you used to acted, the kids where youg when i was drugs, it has been almost 5 years and i have not been any where drugs, i know i was in the wrong,for what i did to him and i know that he can not see past his pain, recently i told him it was over, and now he will not even talk to me, i miss him so much what should i do plz help.
2007-09-08 14:16:16 · 5 answers · asked by gizmo_macca_au 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why did you tell him that? Did you guys go see a third person to get some counseling? Do that. It's hard on both of you and you both have suffered, even the kids.
2007-09-08 14:20:53 · answer #1 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well it takes two people to make a marriage work. It sounds like you have been through a lot. So what you did some drugs and you wasn't the perfect Mother. Stop beating yourself up and don't allow your husband to do it to you anymore either. I undertand why you told him it was over. People say things they don't mean sometimes and your husband seems to be amking you feel guilty about everything. This is a shame. You said that you know what you did was not right. You have admitted your wrongs. What does this manw ant you to do. die for your wrongs? That's why Jesus died for us so that our sins could be forgiven. What matters the most now is that you have changed for the better by not soing drugs. if this man cannot see that you have changed for the better then he should be ashamed of himself because he is being judemental and just plain wrong in every way. Don't worry but your husband is not perfect either I bet? And I bet he has done a few things that he needs called upon to. Since he won't talk to you then leave him alone and start to date other men to get your mind off of him for a change. I know that you said you love him and I think you do to. But do not allow him to make you feel bad about everything. Be the better person in this situation. If he wants to act this way and not treat you right then all you can do is move on till he can grow up. Good luck to you and you can do this without him even if you love him. What is love if they do not respect you and love you back? Not much. So good luck to you and God Bless you.
2007-09-08 21:45:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are too needy. Use reverse tactics. Don't be mean just become distant and unconcerned. Don't call him, don't look for him. Find something else to do. When he comes home hardly even notice. He will come around sooner or later to find out why you are not the insecure one anymore, that is if you hold out long enough. He is too sure about you, so he has the control. You turn the tables he won't be so sure about you and this really works.
Don't keep taking the blame for the kids behavior either. They are old enough now to make their own decisions and should be responsible for them, themselves. You did the right thing by getting clean and sober and so you have set the correct example for your children. He as their father has the role of disciplinarian so the blame for their behavior should be more on him anyway.
2007-09-08 21:25:01 · answer #3 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not too much you can do but explain to him that there is nothing anyone can do to change the past, which is why it's called hiSTORY. However in this case it's HERstory.
Still, you cannot forgive for him. He needs to do this on his own. Everyone makes mistakes. I applaud you for turning your life around. I'm sure he does, he needs to support your efforts in full and not remind you how imperfect we all are. You for doing those things and him for reminding you...
Let him know that you want him in your life and no one else. You'd rather he carry your load and not someother man which could see your NEW potential. He's more than earned it. He's payed for it a hundred fold. He should claim it! If he dosen't, believe me someone else will and they will not care too much about your past especially when they see how they can take the pain from you... Take Care and Good Lick!
2007-09-08 21:42:24 · answer #4 · answered by successful_1_one 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You were high when he was putting up with your s**t. A guy can only take so much.
2007-09-08 21:23:42 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋