hello guys iam really shcoked my hubby is ona friendship and dating site called myspace.com and he has been keeping intouch with a woman called kendal what do Ido now iam so upset now and distressed not to mentioned shocked what am I goping to do guys. I havent got the finan cial means to divorce i have no money no where to liveand iam completely upset
2007-09-08 12:42:08 · 38 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
myspace isnt just for dating and meeting people i use it just to talk to friends sometimes so maybe hes just being friendly
2007-09-08 12:45:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I started to reply last night but left this till today. So I read 35 replies to you and found the most interesting one to be Emmie who has read your prior questions, and that changes what anyone would give you as a reply.
As many said, MySpace isn't simply a dating site. It's a friendship and networking site.
While you are upset that he's chatting with someone there, unless you know it's sexual, you should not assume that it is. BUT... on the other hand, you've sent lots of question to Yahoo, Singles & Dating indicating that you're dating other men and asking why they never contact you back the next day. If you expect your husband to not see or talk to other women outside the marriage, you need to give him the same courtesy.
You say you don't have the financial means to divorce, but your 4 year old is in a private prep school and you just came back from a great vacation in Scotland! If your husband has all control of the money, he can pay for your divorce attorney if you need to get one.
BUT... from what I have read of your prior questions, I think your FIRST action should be to go to a marriage counselor and tell the counselor ALL of what is going on HONESTLY and COMPLETELY... not just a part of it. Tell the counselor how you feel verbally and emotionally abused. Tell the counselor how you've been trying to find yourself a lover. You are contributing to the problems in your marriage. It's not only your husband. You can't change him, but you need to deal with what you are contributing to your problems and what you can do to stop your bad interactions in the marriage. Once you deal with yourself and your own problems, the counselor may request that your husband attend a few sessions together with you.
Yahoo is not the place to try to solve your problems, cause you're only giving half the story on each post. So find a local psychologist and get help.
2007-09-09 01:19:23 · answer #2 · answered by Nedra E 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my boyfriend have a my.space site. We have both put that we are in a relationship, as far as I am concern that needs that I am only on that site to make friends with other people to chat about everything and anything, so if I was speaking to a man it would go no further than that.
But I do know how you feel, have you had a look at the site, your husband can out on there what he is on the site for, i.e friendship, relationship etc. Or just speak to him about it, tell him how you feel, ask him why he has gone the site.
I joined in the hope that some of my family who have computers would be on it, also old school friends. But none of them seem to be, so he could have joined for this reason.
2007-09-08 12:56:12 · answer #3 · answered by 3dom 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My husband did the same thing, but much farther over the top than myspace. Myspace didn't worry me. The singles sites where he was meeting women did. Many, many people have myspace accounts who are married and it means nothing. Get the facts before you let your head split.
For us, the romantic letter in his email from a woman he was chatting with from a real dating site was a heart-stopper. I knew we had some distance between us, but never dreamed he'd go outside the marriage.
When faced with the reality that he was about to lose his marriage, he halted all contact with the other woman. He wrote her that night and aplogized and cut it off. It was no fun, but it was the open door we needed to get real honest real fast and start negotiating our life.
When you realize it is over, you have nothing left to lose. It all gets laid out on the table. We stopped the blame, both took 100% responsibility and started working together to find strategies for our problems. Turns out we were better at it than we knew. Sit hubby down and find out why he is unhappy and what the two of you can do about it. You need your best friend and partner back and so does he. You can do it. Good luck. Drop me a line and let me know how it is going.
Take a break. Fight it out. Talk it out. Work it out. You can't make him do anything. He either decides you and your marriage is where he is putting his efforts or he walks.
In the meantime, do not get pregnant. Do get educated or trained so you have financial options, choices, etc. Live your life for you and for your marriage. What makes you happy? What do you want? How do you get there with or without him? Letting his actions dictate how your life pans out is not a good plan. You need to get on equal footing.
I wish you the best.
2007-09-08 12:53:34 · answer #4 · answered by whereRyou? 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
put prayer on him. If he is in the wrong then God will get vengeance and he will not be able to enjoy what he's doing for long. Also talk to him, let him know how you are feeling about what he's doing and try getting some income of your own. When you became dependent on him, you basically gave him the power to treat you the way that he does, and if he knows that you are dependent on him then he will do as he pleases because he doesn't have to answer to you. I don't know why you don't have money but everyone should have money whether it's coming from working, receiving disability, or some type of aid. Get up and do something to help yourself.
2007-09-08 13:17:11 · answer #5 · answered by Survivor 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it shouldn't be anything to worry about. MySpace isn't a dating site, it's just a way to meet and communicate with people from all over the world. I have over 150 MySpace friends and only 5 are people i actually know, the others are celebrities and other random people i thought were interesting or who thought i was. we just leave comments on each other's pages and wish each other a "happy Birthday", stuff like that. It's completely casual. In your case,though, i guess it depends. If she's just a casual penpal from another state or country, you shouldn't worry. if she lives close by and they seem like more than just penpals, then i don't know. But most likely,it's nothing to worry about. Maybe you could get a profile and meet people too.
2007-09-08 13:04:31 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Understood 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whoa, before you think of divorce, find out the facts first. First of all, talk with your hubby and without attacking him, ask him what his purpose is having an account on MySpace. Second, don't assume who Kendal is to him. Could be a long lost friend from school.
I have a MySpace account as well. My husband knows this and he knows everyone I talk to. I don't keep nothing from him. There's no reason to because I have nothing to hide. I even reunited with an old friend of mine from 17 years ago. And it's a male, and my husband knows too. I keep him in the loop so he is not made to feel like he can't trust me. I hope when you talk with your husband about this, he can come straight out and tell you about it. Don't get angry with him because you don't know exactly what's going on. Tell him that you would like for him to be honest with you about his MySpace and the people he talks to on there. There's nothing wrong in having cyber friends. As long as they're not underage!!! Hopefully he will show you his account and profile that he put up there on MySpace. If he doesn't, and is apprehensive about showing you, then something isn't right. He's hiding something. Then the red flag should come up. And tell him that you don't feel comfortable with him having a secret account on MySpace because it makes you feel as though he's being dishonest with it.
I hope it all works out.
2007-09-08 12:53:02 · answer #7 · answered by lady_bella 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, keep your cool. The exact same thing happened to me with my ex - firstly, MySpace is a networking site so he may not neccessarily be playin around
The sly girl in me says set up an anonymous profile & try to chat to him & see how he reacts... you can catch him redhanded if he is playing around!
On a more serious note, that is what ended my relationship so before you make any moves you need to decide how you would react if he really is cheating on you or if there are some issues in you relationship you need to work on that can be overcome
If it comes to the worst, you will get through it although it seems like an impossible option right now - the main thing is to value yourself & be 100% sure before you make any moves
Good luck m'dear
x
2007-09-08 12:50:51 · answer #8 · answered by rrrrkat 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hey calm down - myspace isn't a dating site at all. There's lots of things on it. Have a look for yourself. Don't worry about this friendship thing if i was you. Talk to him about it and say you're not happy about him being friendly with another woman. Honestly though, if they're just exchanging messages and everything is above board, don't worry. I really don't think you need to be considering divorce either. Talk to him and stay calm.
2007-09-08 12:50:45 · answer #9 · answered by . 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Myspace, as the people above have mentioned, is not just for dating. It's for keeping in touch with old friends, allowing you to have your own customizable space without the hassle of upkeep one would find with a personal website, and allowing old and new friends see what you're up to, with blog options, picture showcase capabilities, etc. However, if you are concerned, I would suggest looking at his page with a scrutinizing eye. Usually on the right-hand side, near the bottom of the page, there's an area that says "*generic username*'s Details", and inside that table, there will be something that says "Status". That is marital status. Under that, it will also say "Here For". Most people who are just looking for old friends with just say "Friends". Some people will put "Networking", which just means they are trying to find people to collaborate in their work field, but "Dating" is also an option, and you can have more than one. Any of these options can also be over-ridden, so say he doesn't want people to know he's married, but doesn't want to put single, either. He can choose "No Answer", and then these options will not show up in the box. You can also look at this "About Me" section (usually top right on the page), and see if there's any mention about you, or about him being married. As far as the person he's keeping in contact with, you can usually look at the page of said person and see where they're from, at least, even if they have a private profile. I'm not encouraging you to snoop, but if you'd like to set your mind at ease a bit, this may be the way to do it. If, however you find anything questionable, I would explain your concern to your husband and see what he has to say. Marriage, as they say, is 50/50. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck!
2007-09-08 12:57:16 · answer #10 · answered by texts_lyrics 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I also have a myspace account, and am very happily married. I keep in touch with some high school and work friends. It may be something your husband does just to keep in touch with people too. You should set up an account (it's free!) and send him messages too! It's fun. If you think there is something to be worried about, you should be straight up with him. Don't worry yourself sick about this. If it is something he's doing wrong, concider yourself lucky for knowing sooner rather than later. Good luck, Sweetie!
2007-09-08 12:48:09 · answer #11 · answered by just me 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋