I am 8 months pregnant and I just found out my hubby has been cheating on me for a couple of months. I do not now what to do, I have nowere to go and he is sorry and wants me to stay. he says he loves me and it was happened when he was drunk, has any woman ever had that happen to them and what did you do, did you leave him and where did you go? I am frightened of what will happen to me because I am going to have his baby in a few weeks. Should I stay until after the baby is born or should I leave now. I dont know what to do. How could he do this to me, I am lost and feel so alone.
2007-09-08 10:37:54 · 13 answers · asked by kimbtilly 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is about the worst betrayal a man could do to you. It happened to me and I stayed because I was pregnant and vulnerable. I wish I left him earlier because once I allowed his betrayl to go unpunished, I kinda gave him permission to do it again. You say you have no-where to go. Havent you got any friends that could take you in, at least until the baby is born? I would also suggest that you give the crisis line a ring in your area.......they would know of organisations that may be able to help you. Even give a domestice violence shelter a ring....they also may know of any organisations who will take a pregnant mother in. You would probably get more support from qualified people than you would from your husband. What a terrible thing to do to you, and for it to continue for a couple of months is even worse. I know it will be hard, but after the baby is born, it will be even harder. You need to make the move now because for a husband to do what yours did when you were pregnent is just disgraceful....it shows he has no respect or consideration for you. What kind of father would he make anyway if he could cheat on you when you were so far pregnant with his child. I think its about the lowest act imaginable. I know you feel alone and vulnerable, but you need to show him that you wont accept his behaviour, nor his weak excuses. You are not alone.......just make a few phonecalls and see what your options are. Give the Salvation Army or the Samaritans a call, I am sure they would only be too happy to help you out. I am really sorry this has happened to you and the timing couldnt be any worse. He doesnt deserve you, its such a low act. Take care and I wish you all the luck in the world.
2007-09-08 11:03:25 · answer #1 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I feel so bad for you and your daughters.Feeling like your world is shattered is normal, feelings of suicide I suppose might be too.However you have three daughters to think of.A cheating husband is bad enough, but this has been going on for a year,he gets her pregnant then has nerve enough to tell you he wants a relationship with the kid and be with her during the whole process ? If you accept this the other relationship WILL continue, on his visitation days you will be watching HER kid, and if you don't send him packing you will be working to support HER kid. Girlfriend, I was married to a cheating dog, for seven years.I have a good idea what you are going through. All I'm going to tell you is you have to ask your self how much are you going to put up with?If he did it once he will do it again, He's turned his back on his family for other woman and has told you plain as day that he intends on being there for HER. You are working, so you are not totally helpless, your three girls are old enough to help around the house and are not babies. So get up, stop feeling sorry for yourself and get MAD. Throw his mangy @$$ out, get a lawyer, take the house, the car, whatever else you and the girls want and nail him for child support. Then see how much he can give this other woman and their child. Hang in there.
2016-05-19 22:04:28 · answer #2 · answered by lorrie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me first say how very sorry I am that this happened to you!! I know how devastating it can be, it is the worst type of betrayal!! My husband did this to me with both of our sons! Only you can decide what is right for your family, everyone will tell you all kinds of things, if you can trust him and work through it then I would definitely stay, but if not you owe it to yourself to be happy and be in a relationship where you feel valued and loved unconditionally!! And let me say you are NOT doing your kids any favors by staying with someone you don't love or trust. I ended up moving in with some of my family for a few months until I got on my feet and i am so happy now. Leaving was the best decision I ever made for me. Do what's right for you.
2007-09-08 10:52:13 · answer #3 · answered by chris' girl 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No my husband didn't cheat while I was pregnant. He tried what he could to help me because I was always sick, through out the pregnancy. He even took off a week from work to be there when the baby was born. You have a very bad husband. To cheat on you while your pregnant with his child. The guy is a loser. Tell him make him pay for what he did by making him take care of you and the baby.
2007-09-08 11:27:08 · answer #4 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry that he has done this horrible thing to you. You deserve respect and honesty, he does not honor you or care for you if he has done this for a couple of months.
There are shelters for women out there. Call your local police and ask them about shelters for women, they can get you set up in a place temporarily.
I am sorry, but if he was drinking that is not an excuse...It is his way of saying "Drinking validates my having sex with another woman and is my excuse for falling into the other woman's hole every time I needed some and I did not feel like having sex with my fat pregnant wife."
This is his thinking, I am sorry I have been there done that and it is rather painful. I am 37 weeks pregnant, so I feel for you and my heart and prayers are with you.
Please do not stay with him, you will be miserable and so will the child.
Blessings to you and your unborn babe.
2007-09-08 11:04:57 · answer #5 · answered by Midnight Winter WOLF 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, determine if you want to work things out. If he is sincere, have him go to couples counseling with you. This could be a one-time thing or it could be just the beginning. A lot of couples are able to work past infidelities and their marriages grow stronger as a result. For some, it's the beginning of the end. Only you know what your limits are.
The first thing you need to do is calm down and take a deep breath. Secondly, ask yourself if you'll be able to forgive him and move past this (with his cooperation and counseling, of course). If you can't, and don't believe your husband to be capable of making the commitment you need in marriage, then now is the time to take action. Staying together "for the kids" is a poor example to the kids of what married life is supposed to be about.
Your husband is supposed to cherish, respect and honor you above all others. He is supposed to be your rock; you both are to act in each others best interests. You're a team, and have to be able to trust each other. If you can forgive him, then tough it out (with the above conditions of counseling, etc.) But if you're not able to get past this, you will only become resentful and angry over time. You don't need that, end it.
You don't have any family you can go to? I'm sorry for your situation, good luck with whatever you decide.
2007-09-08 11:03:50 · answer #6 · answered by Le_Roche 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
OMG....that's just an awful, horrible betrayal. HOWEVER, you said he cheated for a couple months, what was he drunk for a couple months straight? That is no excuse, and if he is trying to give you excuses like that, I think I'd throw him out.... I honestly don't know what advice to give you, if you feel like he is genuinely sorry and really wants things to work out, then perhaps you should give it a try, but I don't know if I could under those circumstances......
2007-09-08 10:49:57 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would leave now--once the baby gets there your emotions will change and you will feel that you need to stay because of the baby
once a cheater, always a cheater
i'm not saying that he cant change but odds are he wont
good luck
2007-09-08 10:53:10 · answer #8 · answered by Mindy S 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
same exact thing happened to me 6 months back , I was also 8months pregnant.I screemed,cryed,shouted,fighted badly with him.he asked me sorry,he begged me to stay. and you know what ???
I stayed,because i wanted my child get a happy family. atleast i gave a second try.I stayed but indirectly i made him understand that his wife have changed,the love , the passion we used to have have changed.I was totally lost but Onething kept me strong was a little life inside me.who kept me saying 'mamma please dont cry things are going to be ok'!
I know when you are reading my answer your eyes are full of tears because now you are passing what all i passed.
Your child need you to be strong.because she/he can understand everything now.
show your husband the deadbody of your love in your eyes.make him feel that he have killed the love you used to have.I am sure he will change.
presently i have a beautiful baby girl and a loving father.
best of luck.
2007-09-08 12:22:23 · answer #9 · answered by sherry 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Forgive him but give him rules first if you decide to take him back !! But dont forgive him just because of the baby !! Do it because you love him and want to try it out again
2007-09-08 11:35:24 · answer #10 · answered by Raw1987 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋