Everyone has a fantasy, my partner and I have talked about this, I'd like to talk to some couple who have done this. How did it work out after the fact? Or is this just a fantasy along the lines of cheating with consent?
2007-09-08 09:28:21 · 17 answers · asked by lynna 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
If you get consent, it isn't cheating. This is something that you should research and discuss with your partner, but make sure that BOTH of you are up for it. My wife keeps saying that I can have a threesome, but I know she doesn't mean it, so I haven't t pursued it... yet! But, if you decide to do this, then here is some advice.
First, BOTH people have to want it. It can't be one person begging or threatening until the other caves. Then there have to be rules for the encounter. Both parties have to swear to follow the rules. Then you have to find the right person that BOTH people agree on. Then you have to get that person to agree to your rules. Then everyone gets tested for STDs. Then, if everything is OK, you can do the deed. But after the encounter, you get tested again and then talk with your partner about it. Be open and honest about what you liked and didn't like. Take some time to think about it and if you'd want to do it again. Then go through the entire process all over again.
Too many people are afraid that any person getting within 1,000 miles of their spouse is going to steal him or her. That's only the case if you shouldn't be with the person in the first place. If your relationship were right, you wouldn't have to worry. Now, if you are just the jealous type and can;t stand the thought of your spouse/partner with another person, be honest about it.
But if you do this and it wasn't for you, don't take it out on your partner. But make him/her understand that you weren't comfortable and won't be participating again.
2007-09-09 00:12:27 · answer #1 · answered by Blade_III 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can work out well if everyone is honest up front about their expectations and there is no secret on-the-side action. It is not just a fantasy but be prepared, there can be a lot of jealousy or hurt feelings if you don't talk about it first or if people don't really want to do it and are only doing it to make the other one happy.
2007-09-09 08:47:34 · answer #2 · answered by Laura 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have tried it with a friend of mine, no granted we we're not together, and the girl we did it with was just a friend as well. It is more his fantasy than yours really. He would not look at it as cheating, in fact he would look at it as "hell yeah, I just got my girlfriend and whoever else in th sack at the time." As degrading as that may sound, it is the way men think. When you and your guy do things just together, he always remembers that he loves you if he truly truly does. But there is a sense of machismo that makes him want to **** the **** out of you. If you fulfill your fantasies whatever they may be in REASON, (meaning you don't become the man for a night, or starting peeing on each other, you get the point), you will be closer. You will never lose the "spark" between two people that makes you attracted to each other. Your guy will not be hesitant to try new things with his girl because she will be up to them, and the same should go for him. Now me in particular, the only thing I woulnd't want it my girl to ask for another man to join in. I personally believe that sex is strictly "lion territory", meaning submission to one man, not two. But hey if he's cool with it whatever have fun, be safe. And make sure that if you ask a friend of yours, or someone random even. Do NOT hesitate to require them to get fully tested before doing anything. Better safe than regretful. And your guy has to learn not to be selfish when handling two women, don't pay more attention to the one other than you, he has to make it even. Stay in one hole for a good five minutes, then move on, he will have six to work with. It's NOT cheating, it is exploring the pleasures of life with someone you love, only especially in your case though. Hope this helped, if not, oh well.
2007-09-08 09:46:16 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
We did research it and decided that it wasn't worth the risk. Frankly, I think this is a better fantasy than reality.
If you do or do not choose this path I would rather you go into it with as much knowledge as you can get prior. I have included a few links that talk about non-monogamy that we found informative.
2007-09-08 09:40:41 · answer #4 · answered by Poppet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
a fantasy along the lines of cheating with consent.. don't do if because if shes better than you, your gonna feel hurt or hes gonna be more interested in her after that happens.
2007-09-08 09:37:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It would be interesting to know if by threesome, you are referring to you and your boyfriend and another girl, or you and your boyfriend and another guy.
Is he open to both scenarios? Are you?
Perhaps if you're interested in this, it might be better if you joined an already existing couple (without your boyfriend). I say this because jealousy might come into play on the part of either one of you. It may change your relationship forever.
Personally, it's not for me. I don't EVER want another woman coming near my man, and I honor and respect our intimacy so much that I don't want to share it with anyone else. That is his privilege, and his alone.
2007-09-08 09:40:29 · answer #6 · answered by GazzaGirl 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
my H and I talked about this and agreed if we did the 3rd would be a woman. The problem is that I would want the woman and him and not want him to touch her. Soooo, it will never happen of course because for us we realize we are too jealous and it would be hurtful in the long run. Nice to fantasize about however...
2007-09-08 18:39:44 · answer #7 · answered by coolmommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i wouldent want to share my man with anyone else and i dont know why any man would want to share there woman with another man. its kinda like cheatin but not the behind the back part . if you dont satisfy ur partner why would u bring another person in there are other things to do then involve another person in ur stuff but thats just how i feel
2007-09-08 09:39:13 · answer #8 · answered by missmycoco 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Are you kidding! My wife would divorce me in a heart beat, if I would to introduce threesomes in my marriage life!
2007-09-08 10:04:12 · answer #9 · answered by pain_of_unhappiness 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
idk but the idea of my bf being with another girl i cannot deal with, yea im a bit on the jealous side but we did know of a couple that does threesomes and i asked my bf what he thought of it and he said that he cant see how someone can have sex with someone other than the girl/guy they love. i thought it was really sweet but yea im not much for them. they sound kinda fun though.
2007-09-08 09:35:55 · answer #10 · answered by californiababe<3 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋