What do you think of the first page of a novel I'm writing? I'm only 16, but feel free to critique.?

Question

Rage.
It consumed him.
It coursed through his veins like a drug, forcing him onwards.
A force intangible yet unrelenting.
Through the trees and bushes he ran, thorns and briars ripping at his skin.
The cool night air whipped through him, but couldn’t cool the burning pain.
This was not the pain of the flesh wounds, they were insignificant, this was immense; the fire inside him, driving him insane, keeping him in a state of perpetual agony. To him this torture would never end, but would have to be released somehow.
At this point only he mattered. There was only him and the pain. Any soul in his way would face naught but paroxysms of rage.
He clumsily sprinted on, not yet knowing where each foot should land, or when.
A hunger was growing inside him which couldn’t be ignored.
It started to rain but he kept running, the droplets steaming off his burning back, he didn’t know where or why, but he kept running.

Instinct had taken over and it seemed as if his nose was leading the way.
He no longer saw as he used to. Image was black and white, but smells and sounds overlaid it with vivid streams of bright colour.
As he raced through the woodlands he felt detached from his actions, as if watching from a different perspective. He didn’t know what he was doing, he only knew that he was doing it.
He surged through to the edge of the forest, panting and out of breath, but he continued on, as many had done before him, through instinct alone, over the rocky ground until he reached the edge of a great cliff.
Here, finally, the rage allowed him to stop.
He paused for a few moments, regained his breath, then tilted his head towards the heavens and gazed at the great lunar orb that he now hated and feared.
And then, for some ancient reason completely unknown to himself, in a final phenomenal release of agony and ecstasy, he let out a tormented and primal howl.

Answer 1

Nice :)

Answer 2

Getting a literary agent is an art in itself. Most agents won't give new writers the time of day because they have a general fear of representing people who have unproven sales records. They are mostly in it just for the money. I think your age is an asset, because the most marketable commodity about an author is his/her own story -- what makes many people want to read a book is knowing the authenticity of the author's voice. If you can convince an agent that you have an authentic voice and speak for your generation, then you have a better chance. If a reputable agent picks up your book, you might be expected to pay some office fees, like copying and postage, usually less than $500, until your manuscript is picked up by a publisher. Some agents won't charge this, but some will. Do not get into a situation where an agent wants something like $2,000 up front for "submission fees" or something like that. You shouldn't have to pay such fees, and can easily self-publish for that amount. Self-publishing is a different route, and a different question. So-called publish-on-demand packages offered by some online companies are a waste of time and resources for the writer who wants to make a living at it. They are OK if you just want to see your work in print, but those books will get you nowhere in your career (except for having such an unpleasant experience to b**** about later). I can't think of any college courses that will prepare you for the publishing world. But you can ask many of the professors in the English or Literature department about their experiences with publishing -- all of them should be published authors in order to get to that level.

Answer 3

It's very much cliche teenage writing. It reads like it was written at the high school level, which it was, so I suppose that's good. When I read it, I can tell you're trying to be a good writer, but what makes a good writer good, in my opinion, is that they don't try to be a good writer. They write more directly from their own thoughts -- freely without regard to how "good" it is. Be yourself in your writing.
It might also help to study a dictionary and a thesaurus. Dissect the English language; turn it inside out and upside down. Find out more about the words you use and why you use them. You'll find it much easier to convey a story that way.

Also, the term "flesh wounds" is a little grandiloquent, and Monty Python-esque. You might want to use a Thesaurus on that one.

Since you said 'feel free to critique,' that's what I've done. I apologize if you take umbrage to what I've said, but I know if I put my writing out there to be judged, I'd rather have people tear it to shreds than coddle me or praise my writing. The good thing about writing is that you can always become better at it. Keep going with it, and good luck.

Answer 4

Very well written and interesting! You have a way with words. I am an avid reader and I love a book that holds my interest. Good luck and I hope I will be reading a novel by you one day!!

Answer 5

He may have just just realized that burger king has locked up for the night. Seriously though, that page is a very good piece of work. send us pg 2

Answer 6

There are some grammatical corrections needed, but your imagery is great. So what if you're 'only' sixteen? Write anyway. The more you write the better you get at it, and in my opinion, there is a lot of potential there.

Answer 7

man that good i'd give you a 10+,keep up and tell when you intend to release it<>IS<>

Answer 8

Interesting...what's it called?

Answer 9

HORRIBLE!!... just kidding haha..it's nice..keep doing what you're doing =)

Answer 10

Very good....I would read more.