It's now 3:00 pm in the afternoon, and he's been watching TV since he got up and still hasn't showered. I've been cleaning and organizing all morning ... Every saturday and sunday is like this. I'm no angel and I'm far from perfect, but I'm so frustrated because I feel like he isn't even trying. We run one errand, then it's time for dinner and I can't take it anymore! what to do???
2007-09-08 08:09:55 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
1 - I do actually love my husband and he definitely has some positive qualities. I'm not about to leave him over this.
2 - we both work full time.
2007-09-08 08:46:59 · update #1
I suppose it is the nature of the beast Two studies indicated that secularly employed wives generally are overworked because their husbands give them little aid with chores at home. One study, undertaken by the International Labor Organization, holds that, considering household tasks, many working wives have a 70- to 80-hour workweek. A separate study by the Stanford Research Institute reportedly holds that husbands help “only with self-selected tasks and for a very small fraction of the total housekeeping hours.”
If I knew what to do about this I'd be happier, healthier and much less tired.
2007-09-08 19:16:53 · answer #1 · answered by babydoll 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Is this everyweekend? How many hours of work does he put in during the week?
I say take a break and enjoy a weekend for you.. Go out of town alone if you can, Go window shopping early sat and come at dinner, with the mind you won't be upset no matter how the house looks... It was worth the day alone... Remember you Cant MAKE someone do the cleaning and work when they don't want to, you'll just end up fighting
2007-09-08 15:17:02 · answer #2 · answered by lynna 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
it sounds more like you have a problem yourself,
you are too busy, not everything needs done,
you can have a day off, saturdays and sundays are the rest relaxation and enjoyment time, if he works all week and stays lazy at the weekend im surprised your saying a word,
its you who needs to calm down and prioritise what really needs done, are these 'errands' that important and life changing, is there no-one esle who can do them
you sound really stressed and in need of a break, and id suggest you take one not wait for one to come along, because it probably wont
however
it is possible if he is always like this no matter what day, he could have any number of things wrong with him
ie depression which takes the interest in living and everything involving living away, unhappiness, trauma, even autism-like aspergers syndrome, which makes people who suffer it seem lazy and messy and unsocial
have you talked to him about this, because thats important to do, hes not psychic and may not have a clue what you feel, whats going on
obviously i dont know what it is thats for you and him to figure it out, but if he doesn't have anything wrong emotionally or physically and you have talked about things then maybe its time for you to leave and find yourself a life and relationship your happy with, because you dont sound happy in this one
2007-09-08 15:24:10 · answer #3 · answered by froufrou 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
does he work a lot during the week?
are you working during the week?
since you are both working during the week
have a really calm conversation with him, and in the sweetest way tell him first of all that he has to help keeping the house clean,too (in case he doesnt help, i would suggetst you stop cleaning the house too,stop cooking etc and then he will realise that he has to help too)
and tell him that if he continues this lifestyle your lives will be just work-sleep-work
is he realising that?does he want his life to be like that?
2007-09-08 15:38:40 · answer #4 · answered by girl24gr 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well if he's so lazy and won't even do anything for himself then don't do anything for him either. Talk to him and let him know that you need his help around the house and if he doesn't lift a finger you're not going to help him with anything. So next time time he asks for some clean undies you ask him, "have you washed any?" When he tells you, "hunny i'm hungry" let him know where the kitchen is.
2007-09-08 15:18:20 · answer #5 · answered by chula 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
what exactly is it you want him to do? bet you were slam-banging around while you were cleaning too, I would have been :) .....guess the only answer is to stop cleaning if you don't want to do it....you can't change him.....hire a maid to do it.......
guess I'm lucky when it comes to that stuff, my husband will vacuum, do laundry and once in awhile the dishes......
2007-09-08 15:16:02 · answer #6 · answered by abc 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
My guess is that he's been like that all his life. You married him despite that. Now it's a problem. Good luck with it.
2007-09-08 15:29:26 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well ud better act same was as he does,
i learned something which is u cant force the others to live same way u are expecting so ud better act same was he might like it and then he ll feel motivated since ur sharing him his laziness and then do something else ( which is what u wanna do )
2007-09-08 15:17:14 · answer #8 · answered by marrious 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
i dunno why people even bother cleaning on the weekend...I mean geez. Do the cleaning during the week then the weekend you -relax- say it with me r-e-l-a-x. You must have known he was like this when you married him if its every Saturday and Sunday like you say.
2007-09-08 15:22:57 · answer #9 · answered by mims03 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Go On Strike1
Oh! its cause alot of friction alright! don't doubt it!!
I've done it.
If that's whats necessary, then go all in!!
2007-09-08 15:48:00 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋