previous marriage, and I have 2 of my own. He did not aquire this bike until after we were married. I am stuck here with the children all of the time. (He works, too) I know he needs to do something, but I am getting to the point that I need a companion in my life that is not a child. How do I deal with this kind of feeling. I want to get a babysitter and go out or something (wihtout him) so that I have a "hobby" too. Am I bad????
2007-09-08 07:25:18 · 10 answers · asked by lrlseuell 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are not bad. You're going down the right path.
You're about to decide for yourself what you want.
If you would like to join him and get involved with motorcycles, that would be a real win-win. If you want to find another ENJOYABLE common interest between the two of you, go for it. If you want to get a hobby without him, do that (sharing a household with children sometimes is enough common ground depending on how it's done).
Then, work out the arrangement with your husband. He should support you because he loves you and wants to see you happy. The other win for him is that you're helping him with his hobby by taking the children. It's hard for a man to dispute all of these wins for himself by supporting your ventures.
Have fun with your new hobby. (P.S. from exp - Only after one rides a motorcycle does one understand the great freedom it gives).
2007-09-08 08:01:22 · answer #1 · answered by Vitiran 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like he is pretty self centered. He has found something that is fun for him. His excuse and that of many men is that I deserve it "I work all day and need a hobby to have something in my life to enjoy.
He hasn't thought about you. Did he sit down with you before he bought the bike? Do You two do anything together?
You ask "Is it bad that you want a hobby also?" The answer is no, depending on what it is your intentions are. I think you want to get back at him. You are angry. You are feeling used and you want to have some fun. You have to get him to sit down so you can share your feelings. You will know how committed he is based on his response is. Good Luck.
2007-09-08 14:51:43 · answer #2 · answered by Tetonka 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Get a motorcycle too and leave the kids at the sitters for awhile. You will love it and it will make you feel free. If you can't afford another cycle right now then join your husband on his. It is important in a marriage to share experiences and this is an opportunity for you to do just that.
2007-09-08 14:41:33 · answer #3 · answered by mafiosu 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I suggest involving the entire family in your husband's hobby. There are families all over the country dedicated to biking. They get together and travel during the summers, they go camping, they participate in charitable organizations (here one group of bikers holds an annual free mammogram and breast cancer awareness fair every weekend in October). You and your husband can enjoy his hobby when the kids are visiting their other parents. The only one holding you back is yourself...see my other post under your other question.
2007-09-08 18:06:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no- your not bad
to be a good parent you need to be good to yourself
join a club-get a membership to the local y- or get the girls together for a game of cards (w/out the kids and husband)
everyone needs a hobby, not just the husband
2007-09-08 14:37:09 · answer #5 · answered by Mindy S 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you could do is get a babysitter and go out with your husband.
Instead of him going out without you, why don't you 2 go out together.
Spend some time together to get your relationship back.
Sometimes we are so busy being parents, that we forget that we are also a "couple".
Good luck ;)
2007-09-08 14:32:13 · answer #6 · answered by MommaBear 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would definetely let him know how I feel. Don't play games...if you do this to me, I'll do this to you. Hire a babysitter...and go out on "dates" with your husband. Enjoy each other and don't talk about anything else, but the two of you. It's very normal for either of you to have different likes, but don't let them get in the way of spending time together. Talk to him. I'll bet you he'll love having time just for the two of you. Enjoy!
2007-09-08 14:42:02 · answer #7 · answered by M. J. 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No you are not bad ! He is vary selfish to stick you with kids all the time . you need time for your self . Get a baby siter , Show him your not going to be stuck at the home all the time , He might rethink things .
2007-09-08 14:45:31 · answer #8 · answered by sassy68 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
no ur not bad, just be careful on what u do, and talk to him, tell him how u feel, im or email me if u need to talk to some one, before u go over board
2007-09-08 14:52:17 · answer #9 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
join him in his hobby
2007-09-08 14:33:14 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋