Is the Security of being married worth it??

Question

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1. my husband does not answer any questions about where he was, who he was busy talking to ..etc etc wen he himself needs all answers
2. does not miss any official get togethers wen expects me to attend none
3. does not find me attractive anymore
4. expects me to help his house wife mother with chores even wen i have longer working hors
5. criticises EVERYTHING about me
6. says he's critical but only doing it for my own good?

Answer 1

Is this what you call security of marrige? Sounds like you already have finacial security with those long hours. What does he provide for you? He is NOT your daddy and has no right to order you around and degrade you. You should not have to be interagated about your who, when, what, and wheres either.
I don't know your details but maybe sitting down and weighing your good and bad about this marrige is a good idea. All marriges have there tough and bad points, but if you feel the good can out-weigh the bad then just find a way to vent the bad. Like joining an online group where you can talk about all that stuff....good or bad.

Answer 2

Well, I guess the love is there, you just need to find it both of you.
I bet he'd be devastated or totally lost if he were to lose you.
Why don't you try the: "I've got enougth of your attitude, I'm going away for a few days to think our relationship. I don't want you to call me when I am away. I need some time to think."
In fact, this is just to shake him out of his inertia and see exactly how he feels about you. Just a little scare, you know the likes of heart attack for people who use their body as a bin instead of taking care of it; Just a tiny reminder that you BOTH need each other.
If you can't go anywhere, only threaten him with the: "I'm more and more thinking of our relationship, and I think I might go away for a few days to gather my thoughts and do some serious thinking. "
Then, leave it at that, and see if anything changes.
Well, don't expect thunder and lights in terms of changes, as men hate threats, but try and see if there's a thank you here, here darling there, and so on. The little things.
You mustn' t let him take you for granted, and vice versa obviously.
Good luck.

Answer 3

It's not a question of "is marriage worth it?". You're talking any relationship.

He may be fulfilling the need of security for you but you have other needs as well. You need to pinpoint what these needs are and (with your husbands HELP) have them fulfilled.

He should be willing to help fulfill them because he loves you, wants to see you happy and you can help him fulfill his.

However, a lot of your comments are reflective of the things that he is doing and his thoughts. You can't control him only yourself. So focus on yourself. What are you DOING, FEELING and THINKING for each of your points?

Then talk, talk, talk with you husband.

Answer 4

Where is the security in that? You're secure in the fact that he will continue to be a jerk. You're secure in the fact that you are not happy.
Are you happy with this man? Do you see things improving? If not, you need to move on with your life.

Answer 5

not that worth it
it sounds as if he may be a little controlling
please take no offense, but maybe you should find something to do outside of the house

Answer 6

sweety you dont need him find someone else who will love you they you are ! getting married is not goin to change nothing proly make things worse good luck

Answer 7

get the next train out of town .

Answer 8

i would find someone who treated me better, but thats a choice u will have to make good luck

Answer 9

sounds like a one sided relationship to me. what's fair for one is fair for the other. that's not5050. if you can take care of yourself than do it. life is to short.

Answer 10

Not if you are unhappy. Marriage is much more than security; if you lose yourself, then you have nothing,