Someone I have very strong feelings for has just recently got a girlfriend. He's also just gone away on holiday, thankfully without her.
I go on his profile all the time though. I even go on his girlfriend's profile as well and read their comments to each other. I think about him every second of the day. His face haunts me and I just want to be rid of him, but I'm so scarily obsessed.
How and why is this happening?
I'm sure this isn't normal...
2007-09-08 06:55:16 · 18 answers · asked by cosmicmoon 5 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Tim - I'm not a teenager! I'm 20 years old.
2007-09-08 18:09:02 · update #1
Obsession In psychoanalytic terms this is a neurosis where one dwells on an issue or another person to a degree that is unhealthy and potentially destructive. Obsessive thinking is often accompanied with compulsive behavior—for example, an internet stalker. Obsessive thought and compulsive behavior are thought to be flawed mechanisms where a person tries to avoid unconscious feelings of pain, guilt or inadequacy.
Obsessive love is a form of love where one person is emotionally obsessed with another.
The obsessive lover believe that their “one magic person” alone can make them feel happy and fulfilled.
Four conditions that help identify Obsessive Love:
1. A painful and all-consuming preoccupation with a real or wished-for lover
2. An insatiable longing either to possess or be possessed by the target of their obsession
3. Rejection by or physical and/or emotional unavailability of their target, and
4. Being driven to behave in self-defeating ways by this rejection or unavailability.
2007-09-08 12:05:01 · answer #1 · answered by Hot Coco Puff 7 · 9⤊ 0⤋
I think you are like this because you now know you can't have him. Before you had the chance to make a move or let him know your feelings. It's a matter of ego and perhaps lack of self assertion, not obsession.
The best way to get out of this, is by expanding your social activities, trying to find a man with the qualities and interests that are important to you. Would you really want to be with someone who doesn't notice the most basic things such as someone being interested in him?
Good luck and trust me, you will get over this,
2007-09-08 22:49:23 · answer #2 · answered by damari_8 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Teen or Twenty, makes no difference really (does it) ~ the emotion's still the same.
I know where you are coming from ~ had the tee-shirt a long time ago.
Sorry, not much help to to admit that it hurts and to tell yourself your an idiot ~ but to respect those (very strong) feelings you experience as they are more than likely, the realest of feelings you are ever going to feel for another adult human being.
They are worth a HUGE amount. Learn from them about who you are and the beauty in what you feel (you CAN NOT EVER buy this experience or those feelings), and learn about your own integrity in / from them.
I waited until I was in my early 40's to experience this, and it was pain-full.
I wish you ~ Good luck.
Sash.
2007-09-11 13:53:09 · answer #3 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you like or fancy him? Does he know that you exist? Did you only get obsessed with him after he got a girlfriend? Why haven't you approached him before?
You need to go "cold turkey" - ie; don't look at his profile or his girlfriend's for a few weeks. If they're still together in a few months - then tough, you've missed your chance (and don't do it again in future!). If they split up, then you need to make an effort to do something about asking him out or getting to know him better. This could be a wake up call for you, to not take things or situations for granted.
2007-09-08 07:11:58 · answer #4 · answered by Metal Urbain 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
maybe it's his face but find a new man and dont just wait for the last second before asking him out. Never get obsessed instead find a hobby like making vids;playing games;shoting targets; and reading books.
2007-09-08 07:28:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not saying this about YOU, but some people seem to obsess about people they CANT have because it is much easier than having to start a relationship with someone obtainable due to having things like mistrust, abuse, cheated on, other reasons in past relationships, so sub-conciously pick someone they cant have who they can think about, fantasize about, then say "i cant be with them because .... other partner ....... out of area ...... etc etc". I think it IS normal if your track record of past relationships isnt good.
2007-09-08 08:23:52 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you have taken the first step by admitting that you have a problem the next step is to deal with it start with putting a block on their profiles so you cant access them then start filling your time with other interest or find new ones
2007-09-09 08:45:14 · answer #7 · answered by eighty two 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's normal...you need to think about other things..like gardening or something!!! or whatever takes your fancy apart from this guy..it'll just make you more stressed and negative...get into a new club or something so you mix with new people..i know what it feels like..but gradually over time, it will fade.! good luckxx
2007-09-08 07:05:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think it is a case of you really want what you can have. keep yourself busy so you dont have to think about him or look at his profile.
I think it is normal, because i was like that with the previous guy i really liked.
2007-09-08 07:00:35 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Music <3
2016-04-03 21:22:14 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋