my hubby & myself have a fantastic sexual relationship.atleast thats what i think.but his actions confuse me and makes me doubt whether he is sexually satisfied or no.many a times he watches tv till late night so i go sleep in the bedroom while he sleeps in the drawing room on the sofa after watching tv till late night. everytime he sleeps outside i have found out blue movie dvds in the dvd player and tissue papers strewn around the sofa. i used to doubt he mastubates. when i asked him whats this he says nothing my nose was leaking at night thats all. but i wonder why doesnt his nose leak when we sleep together? when i ask him this question he doesnt have any reply. sometimes it has also happened that i have woken up in my sleep to go to the toilet and as soon as he hears the door opening he switches off the tv. when i ask him about it he says i just decided to sleep but again in the morning i find the sex videos in the dvd player. i just want him to tell me the truth.
2007-09-08 06:41:27 · 20 answers · asked by sweetu 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
i have tried talking to him to find out if he is not satisfied or whats the reason he needs to masturbate while watching such movies when we can have sex but he starts fighting by raising his voice which only proves what i think is right because he starts shouting back at me to defend himself everytime he is wrong. i am not going to react strongly even he accepts i just want to know so that i can work on satisfying him. he will never agree to go to a counsellor because he will never accept he masturbates. i dont say masturbating is wrong but masturbating every now and then watching movies when u have a wife to have sex with seems weird to me. i am sure he is lying to me. i just want to catch him red handed once so that he doesnt have any excuses to make. now i am pregnant and he doesnt have sex with me bcause he is scared he will hurt the baby. fine. no problem. but he shouldnt be having a problem with oral sex. he refuses this too and then again i find him satisfying himself.
2007-09-08 06:49:01 · update #1
any ideas who can i solve this problem?
2007-09-08 06:52:28 · update #2
There is not much you can do about this unless he is willing to talk. **** can become an addiction, so if your sex life begins to cool off, then there will be reason for concern. Contrary to what the guys say, this is not normal when there is a loving and loved spouse in the picture. Hubby is trying to hide a habit, just as a drinker would hide his booze. He needs to talk to you about his desires, maybe try to tell him some of your hidden desires for in the bedroom.
2007-09-08 06:59:09 · answer #1 · answered by julvrug 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Try watching the blue films together if it is bothering you so much.
Dont make it an issue, there is no point in trying to prove you are right and he is wrong, even if you are right. Let him have his fun. If you feel cheated of sex or if you are not being satisfied by him then it may be a problem, but you yourself have confessed that you have a great sexual relationship, so why ruin it by irritating him with nagging questions.
Dont try to control your husbands behaviour and his activities as long as they dont interfere with your relationship. He has a right to privacy in his home, dont make him feel like he is being watched all the time. If your husband has fun by himself why should it bother you as long as you are getting what you want, if you try to snoop you will only ruin your relationship as he will loose trust in you.
2007-09-08 17:09:31 · answer #2 · answered by Pramod R 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is your question? If you are wondering if his having sex videos means you aren't satisfying him, it probably doesn't mean that at all. Pr0n is pr0n and I know if I was having great sex 5 times a day, I'd still never ditch my stash. He might be upset that talking about it might hurt your feelings tho by causing you to express the very same concerns that you are now. There is no way to know for sure though without an honest conversation with the guy. And that is something I can't help with. =(
2007-09-08 13:47:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Almost all guys enjoy watching poren....I think ur hubby is probably embarassed about u thinking that he was weird because he watches sex vids, and looking by ur question i understand u have a very bad impression of such vids...rather than making him feel embarased maybe u can join him in his fantasies, watch sex videos together..maybe act out some fantasies....So rather than trying to catch him watching p**n as a detective, you mite find it enriching for ur relationship to join ur hubby if at all he enjoys watching..and watching p**n doesnt mean he is a pervert of anything - all guys watch sex vids and enjoy them , so dont worry abt that....
2007-09-08 13:59:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Just because he watches **** every now and then doesnt mean ur not satisfying him. Some people just like alone time. It's like when u hang out with ur friends every now and then when ur married. Same deal(to me), sometimes u want ur spouse. and u'll neve stray and always want them, but sometimes, u just want urself. U don't have to think of new moves or anything with urself, and it's just relaxing. I wouldn't worry about it. Please try and stop thinking about this, because if u don't, the stress could affect ur baby.
2007-09-08 18:29:52 · answer #5 · answered by Uncertain Soul 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
may be he has a over sex drive. but at the same time as he had sex with u regularly, he never bothered you for his over sex drive. i think he loves u and is treating you well enough. he may be interested in too much **** so he watches and masturbates. dont bother till he is ures , he is just with his **** videos. many people including me masturbate even after having a good sex life.
2007-09-08 16:25:45 · answer #6 · answered by yourfreind_forlife 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would wonder why a man or a woman, if they were married and lived together,would do such things without the other, get u some movies and watch while he is in the other room,moan and groan to the top of your lungs, he might get the message then
2007-09-08 14:39:08 · answer #7 · answered by charlesjerrell 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Whatch the videos with him. Put them in before he comes home from work. That will get him really going. Or maybe he is watching guy on guy and doesn't want you to find out. Are you comfortable watching ****? My hubby and I watch it together.
2007-09-08 14:22:43 · answer #8 · answered by hotmomma 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Some people need more than sex to be physically satisfied. In other words, for many people (myself included), masturbabion is the only way to get yourself off, no matter how great in bed their partner is. You don't need to be offended, but rather open to him doing what he needs to to do get off. I guess as long ast it's not illegal type porno though is all you need to worry about.
Liesel.
2007-09-08 13:52:32 · answer #9 · answered by Liesel 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You seem to be assertive in general and sex in perticular. There by you are denying your husband the traditional aggresive male assertion.
Man by nature like to have sex with a vulnerable lady to satisfy his ego. He need to dominate and protect you. Allow him this much space, and see the results. Best luck.
2007-09-09 15:55:33 · answer #10 · answered by Panchal J 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋