All the time on yahoo answers i see "why won'y he/she forgive me" questions. what happened to common decency, self respect and respect for others? i don't understand why ppl think it's ok to cheat, i mean i don't care if it's once or a long term thing. cheating is cheating. my husband and i talked about this before we got married, stating that if you want out, or think you maybe interested in someone else, just say it. we agreed that if one cheats it's over, period. No working it out, or forgiveness. we have a family, a life together, why risk it on a moments pleasure. I hear about people cheating in the first year of marriage, what made you think to get married in the first place? If it's so bad, get out. don't screw with someone you profess to love. so my question is why do it.
2007-09-08 05:46:07 · 26 answers · asked by paula t. 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
You are so right, it's a cold world and you can expect anything from anybody these days. Most people are getting married for all the wrong reasons. Most people aren't happy with their spouse and never was. No matter what, there is no excuse.
2007-09-08 05:52:27 · answer #1 · answered by KSR 5 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I think people are just very inconsiderate and don't even consider the hurt that they would be causing. They think they will get away with it and it will all be ok. When you do wrong, it will come back to you. Maybe it was a one time thing and they won't do it again or they engage in a long term affair. Either way, once caught or they stop doing it, they feel like the other person should find it in there hearts to forgive. I'm not saying that they shouldn't try but its never easy and the cheater always wants it to be over and done with so quickly. They don't understand that it takes alot of time and that they should be willing to do whatever it takes if they have a person willing to try and forgive. Cheating is the most devestating thing to a relationship. People should just realize the hurt they cause to someone before they do something so stupid.
2007-09-08 06:01:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Finally! A person who feels like I do! All the questions about cheating make my head spin. I don't think there are many couples left in the world who are truly in love. They grow up without it and then become adults that wouldn't know love if it hit them in the face. They base the decision to marry on physical attraction, pregnancy, the fact that people expect them to, to make others happy...basically all the wrong reasons. I am married and have been with the same man for 13 years and I thank heaven for the fact that after all this time the love between us continues to grow everyday. I think if you are actually happily married that the affairs that seem to happen so freely are just something we'll never get because we have found unconditional love. I think marriage is something people jump into not realizing that marriage is a lot of work and that forever is a long time. Be happy we are amongst the fortunate few...there really is nothing better. It's a shame more people don't share our experience. Here's to continued happiness...
2007-09-08 06:11:17 · answer #3 · answered by mickeymel9 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
People do things for different reasons. sometime cheating can bring more romance into a marriage. I have been married for 30+ yrs and the most trying times we had were in the first 10yrs, we both talked about cheating cause all of our married friends were cheating on each other. You must remember that you did not marry a perfect man, sweetheart he is HUMAN and a man will look. and so will you. Cheating is like a lie. once you tell it you want to know how you are going to get the person you told it to, to forgive you. Now if you really LOVE this man you should not have made him lie to you and
you shouldn't have lied to him. Marriage is all about WORKING IT OUT AND FORGIVENESS, COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY TO A GOOD MARRIAGE.
If he cheats just make him sleep on the sofa a few nights and think before you leap, you could just be giving up the best thing that ever happen to you. (watch your friends) Now that you have married him they think that you have something special and they are gonna try him
2007-09-08 06:03:26 · answer #4 · answered by LovelyChoc 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Honestly, I wouldn't know why people do it either. My husband and I have somewhat the same rule, however ours is "If you feel you want someone else, or you need to screw other people, don't cheat on me, give me papers." We both understand what is cheating in the other's eyes, and we both know how far is too far. I don't understand why people even get married these days if they're just going to go out and screw someone else, what was the point of taking "vows" under God? It's very simple. You get married, you've given up your right to have a feast of anyone other than your spouse's flesh. Hard to understand? I think not. Not clearly stated? I think not. If you cheat on someone, they shouldn't HAVE to forgive you. You broke their heart, you gave yourself to someone else, in the deepest fashion of showing "love" so why would they even WANT you back? Those who forgive after their significant other has an affair should really stop to think about all the crap they went through and how they will NEVER trust that person again before they go on trying to be forgiving. That's my story and I'm stickin to it.
2007-09-08 05:58:49 · answer #5 · answered by Shauna 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Marrige is suppose to be forever the bible speak of the marrge of man and woman as being sacared it is a combining of mind body and soul a union of flesh. What happened to the day when divorce was not the way out when people figured out there differnces. As for cheating I dont understand it either cheating is the most hateful thing you could do to someone you love people that cheat should not be forgiven. How can you ever trust that person again after they broke your trust once before. I also think if you have a family you should work it out for the childrens sake a stable family is the most important thing to a growing child I think divorce is the reason for alot of kids having problems these days. I hope this helps you.
2007-09-08 06:01:27 · answer #6 · answered by Tim H 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well I think that maybe some people are different than you are. Some people think that marriage is like a job, you can go out and get a new one, in this world. I think that cheating is wrong also, but you know, Ive kind of done it. I told my husband. I was married for a month and a half, just found out that my son was severely mentally disabled, and had 2 miscarraiges. I wanted everything to go away, including him, and my son. That was the way that I thought then. People have rough points in their marriage, and to me, that's Gods way of testing you to see how strong that you're love is. I look back on it now, an think, what the hell was I thinking? But thank God, my husband was thinking clear, an wouldnt let me go, even though I wanted to leave him an told him everything that happened. Its like an obsticle course, it has its challenges. Testing your love. If you can get through it, than you love each other. But when its a repetitive thing, something is definatly wrong. But its great the you an your hubby have that agreement. Being married in this day an age, is simply crazy!
2007-09-08 06:00:12 · answer #7 · answered by Little Deer 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Each married couple should define the rules of their marriage. I have known couples who have an open marriage and therefore do not consider other partners cheating. When one breaks these ground rules of their defined marriage, he/she has lost his/her self-respect. As a nation, and perhaps a world, many people have lost self-respecting values. With the younger people, many believe it is okay to cheat, lie, and steal as long as they do not get caught. There is a relationship between these concepts and cheating in a marriage as it has become common to them. My grandfather, who has been married sixty years, talks about the days when marriage was a serious commitment. The newer generations seem to have lost some of those intrinsic values.
2007-09-08 05:58:25 · answer #8 · answered by SuziChi 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Paula I'm certain that cheating has been around as long as Adam and Eve began dropping out offspring. It is like you state though almost commonplace for people to cheat and then believe that they were justified for whatever reason to have done so. I have to agree with you that cheating is cheating whether it is a one time fling or an affair that lasts for years. I'd be willing to gamble my next paycheque that if you ever developed a serum that would stop this infidelity that you'd be a billionaire overnight.
2007-09-08 05:55:42 · answer #9 · answered by crazylegs 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't think people are saying it is okay to cheat. Words are easy to spout; saying what you would or wouldn't do in any given situation, but you will never REALLY know what you will do unless you are faced with it. Don't you think others talked about cheating and the values of marriage before they got married also? Many who have forgiven their spouse said the same words you are saying and never dreamed they would still be with them. It is not condoning cheating; they are not saying it is fine with them or you should stay; it is doing what is right for them and no one else. Sorry, but life is not black and white and we should support whatever decisions each individual couple decides is correct for them; not make them feel worse by using cliches' and our personal values.
2007-09-08 06:09:31 · answer #10 · answered by pussycat 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Once years ago before I was married to my husband I cheated. But that was after he threatened to cheat. Among us both I am the more daring one. After wards it was easy to cheat if I felt I was unhappy with him. We married. While married I have never cheated. I feel that if I did he asked for it.
Do to his sexual hang ups. They are do to him thinking most things that have to do with sex. Are sinful. That's the reason we married after having lived together for many years.
He came into religion and thought it wrong to live together. To have sex with out marriage. I had told him we can live together and not have sex. Like room mates. He still felt that was wrong. I respected him and had no more sex with him until we got married. I married him because we have a child together. And she was underage at the time. Once married. I noticed he had changed dramatically. Who he is as a man. I don't like it. And it has made me lose whatever feelings I had for him.
Still I don't plan on cheating. But if there were to ever come a day that he were to cheat. For whatever reason. I wouldn't think twice about cheating once I met a guy I liked. As long as he is faithful I plan to be as well. I warned him before we married what I am willing and not willing to tolerate. So he is aware. He was warned.
2007-09-08 07:02:34 · answer #11 · answered by Red Rose 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋