I have a darling month old little girl. Right now I'm on maternity leave and home all day with her everyday, and my husband goes to work. Well, there is something I don't understand and it makes me feel heartbroken. Why is it that I can be home all day long for her and she won't do any firsts for me? Her first smile was for him, and then last night her first laugh was with him, while I was outside so I didn't even get to hear it and she still hasn't even laughed for me.
So why is it that I am home all day long with her and play with her and everything else but she still gets all happy when he comes home and does all these special things for him? I know I should be thrilled that her and her daddy have this special bond, but I am also upset that she can't share any firsts with me to tell him about when he gets home. Can someone help me understand this?
2007-09-08 05:29:37 · 14 answers · asked by Torey♥ 5 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Thank you everyone so far for your answers! It has made me feel so much better.
2007-09-08 05:40:10 · update #1
Awww, sweetie, this is completely normal and natural. Your daughter is still learning who the people in her little world are that she can trust and depend on. Daddy is away all day and when he comes home, she is excited to see him again. He smells different, he feels different and he holds her and engages her differently than you do. You are her number one source of security and love right now. Your daughter will have many many firsts, some just for you and some that you will share together as parents.
Being at home alone all day with a newborn is difficult for any first-time mother. You give and give until you have nothing left and it's understandable that you'd like some 'reward' for your efforts. They will come. Keep up the good work, it's a long job ;-)
2007-09-08 05:41:29 · answer #1 · answered by bizou_bear 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She's only a month old and she's already smiling and laughing? Wow, that's a bit early... smiles by 6 weeks on average and laughing is more like 2 months. I think it's just coincidence that he was there for some firsts. Hang in there, you'll be sharing LOTS of smiles and laughs. The first time I heard my daughter laugh, I mean REALLY laugh, was for her pediatrician! A guy she hardly knew! I just stared at her wondering 'where did THAT come from'. In any case there will be lots more firsts so I'm sure you'll be getting your share. Sometimes it's simply a new face that triggers the sudden appearance of these things, perhaps. Keep smiling!
2007-09-08 12:37:24 · answer #2 · answered by spiffy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a mother of three I feel your pain. It's like the baby lottery and you must be present to win. and theres almost nothing we can do about it. It's impossible to know or guess when these "miracles" our babies perform are going to happen. All I can offer is be patient ( I know how hard that is) and she will fill your heart to bursting with the million things that are to come. ( her first step, saying mama etc.) she is only a month old and there are thousands of firsts yet to come. soon you'll be telling your husband about all the things she has done during the day. ( get your video camera ready!)
2007-09-08 12:39:07 · answer #3 · answered by mahina.goddess 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Those firsts may were a coincidence.She's only one month old and I'm sure that you'll have many firsts while she'll grow up.Maybe she misses her daddy and when he comes she feels different.Besides daughters have special bonds with their daddies even though we do most of the things for them.Don't worry and congratulations for your little one.
2007-09-08 12:36:00 · answer #4 · answered by alexia 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Betsy.
Let me say too that I have a 2+ year old. For the 1st year I breastfed him and he was much closer to me than his dad (in more ways than one). But when I stopped, he suddenly always wanted daddy and never me. It was very hard to take! After a while though, things seemed to even out and he shares his love pretty equally now.
2007-09-08 12:48:55 · answer #5 · answered by mel1026 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe it's the change of a new person, who maybe is not as tired and run down as you may be from staying up at night, etc. Caring for a baby is hard work. In any case, a baby always loves mom best, it just so happens it's not working out for you...to warn you, her first word will probably be dada, it's easier for babies to say than mama...
2007-09-08 12:35:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Awww....don't take it to heart, dear girl. It is probably just bad timing. I missed my daughters first step, word and roll over because she did it at daycare or with Daddy before I got home. It was disapointing, but I saw the seconds! She still loves you and a Mother's bond with her baby is always the strongest.
2007-09-08 12:33:33 · answer #7 · answered by kawm63 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
As a stay at hoem mom, I can tell you that sometimes that's just the way it goes :( My children BOTH have associated ME with comfort and needs, but their father's with play time. Daddy gets the smiles and giggles, I get the tears for food and diaper changes. My oldest is 13 years now, and I can also tell you that now that she is older she and I are closer than she is with her dad BECAUSE I have always been the one to meet those needs.
2007-09-08 12:34:11 · answer #8 · answered by Betsy 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
please don't say that, u will have u chance to see a lot of different things, he is only 1 month. My baby boy is 2 month old and he smiles for my husband and for me to, but some things he does only for my husband, and some for me.
Stop being so upset over that, it's stupid he is only 1 month...
OK?
2007-09-08 12:38:11 · answer #9 · answered by Martini5 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your turn will come, Must be she is going to be a Daddys Girl
2007-09-08 12:43:16 · answer #10 · answered by Granny 1 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋