A song I wrote its called silent screams?[I'm 13 so take it easy]?

Question

I thought it had all ended but nothing
seems to go away over and over
again just like before seems happiens
is just a lie.

chrous
But I'm still here I build up all this hope
All this rage building up inside of me
All these feelings stuck inside of me
No-one hears my silent scearms

I feel like its time to disappear just wait
for death,but you stop me from I try to
tell you I've had enough its taking to
long,you say it will end

Im just barely holding on I wish this was
temporayely,but it keeps going on and on
I need somone to help me end this nightmare

Chrous
But I'm still here I build up all this hope
All this rage building up inside of me
All these feelings stuck inside of me
No-one hears my silent scearms

the story of this song is that we should pay attention to people who are suicdal and not just say ''it will pass'' because if we dont they might end up killing themselfs or doing serious harm to themselfs

Answer 1

This is really great! keep up your writing. I like that you are so involved with an issue affecting and ending so many young lives! Good luck!

Answer 2

i think of that that's somewhat properly written and over all is a few thing that which you ought to to think approximately committing to an audio recording of varieties a while. on a similar time as as i'm an agnostic, I continually think of that something that promotes self properly worth and lightweight interior the face of adversity is a magnificent difficulty. in spite of the undeniable fact that, if i will make a small suggestion. in case you're able to alter the final notice of line 20 from gay to chuffed or some thing that works purely as properly? that's purely that as quickly as the notice gay is used for that's unique which skill that's oftentimes going to be the concentration of maximum persons's interest. that's a juvenile reaction, in spite of the undeniable fact that that's barely the way many youthful human beings act. good track although, save up the best artwork.

Answer 3

You sound as if you have had a brush with feeling that way at some point yourself.

It is very powerful. Needs a bit if tinkering perhaps, but you don't need to apologise for only having 13 years behind you!

You could maybe take it to a teen counselling site or group and see if you can get it out there.

Good luck.

Answer 4

Did you write it as a poem or a song?
Either way, well done for having the confidence to put it on here.
Bit bleak but if you are really 13 then is a very mature composition. Ultimately it doesn't matter what people think. Just write what you feel.

Answer 5

Look people get a bit allergic to teenage angst, but you have controlled it and done well. It's really helped by the great chorus. Have you got a tune?

When you use a long word like 'temporary' in a song it can cause trouble because it sounds clumsy with the music so be careful of that.

I haven't taken it easy, thasswot I think. Well done . .really!

Answer 6

It's great that you can write something like this at 13. Keep on writing and record your songs.

One thing to remember though is to protect your music. Register it with a music association (SOCAN for Canada) or send it to yourself in a an eveloppe by mail and don't open it to prove that its original material if anyone ever tries to steal it :)

Answer 7

Hi, you are very young to have such feeling, is anything in your life upseting you, I really hope not, but reading your poem or song I find it very upsetting, you are far too young to have such thoughts and feelings, try and enjoy life, infact enjoy life, itf it would help email me I cant promise to solve your problems but i will listen, if I have picked up the wrong message, then please write more happy songs or poems

Answer 8

I like your poem. It is well expressed and having a chorus is very effective. But you must have been feeling very miserable when you wrote it - I do hope you are feeling better now.

Keep on writing poetry. It works for you.

Answer 9

I'm 12yr old goth girl.its ok needs a wider range of words better vocabulary rhythm ya know stuff like that

Answer 10

Depressing lyrics. It could be good though, depending on the melody. Is it an emo song?