for both guys and girls:how far can you compromise for?

Question

your partner's level of educations....
would you_a university graduate_agree to marry some body who has a lower level of education(diplom fanny/zera3y etc.)?

you won't believe what i hear..a friend of mine(engineering) her parents refuses any proposal except he's a doc or an engineer!!!

@gigi..y3ny you have no problem to marry wa7ed m3ah diplom? just asking

yes Adam the prophet said:"اذا اتاكم من ترضون خلقه و دينه فزوجوه"
he didn't say money,education..or anything else...

Answer 1

i'll tell you something my mom haven't finished high school and she raised me.
now i am one of the excellent students in my college, even though she didn't have any certificates her mind was so smart to raise me.
so i think it's ok completely.

Answer 2

No, I won't compromise. I'm a university graduate and I married a university graduate and wouldn't have gone for someone who has a lower educational level. I know of course what matters the most is his deen, but if u can have someone religious with an equal degree then what's the problem? This also has to do a lot with traditions. I don't like to be looked weirdly at when ppl know I have a higher degree than my husband's. u know "elshaklyat" matters a lot in Egypt and among Egyptians in general. Another issue I would be facing is that I won't be able to get along with my husband very well as we both have different levels of ed. and won't be able to share info and knowledge together. Also, some men act like psychos when they feel that a woman is more successful than they are, and life with such people would be a living hell!

Answer 3

I thought once it's not at all the point when it comes to marriage what the educational level of both is, you may disagree with me but now I think about it differently.

I won't g that far like your friend's parents but at least the difference should not be that great, not a doc or a scientist to marry an illiterate woman that can't even read nor write, I think it can't be a successful relation simply because such a huge difference will hinder any possible relation from being built and sustained. Any couple have first to be able to communicate effectively to be happy one. However this is the rule and, like any other rule, it may have some exceptions, but exceptions does not mean breaking the rule itself, on the contrary, it emphasizes it.

Answer 4

The quality of make the most from the relationship is far more concerned than the level of education a partner have...

It just a mindful delusion that this things become more complicated for some of us..Yes it is good to have a high education partner but at the end of the day it is sign of nasty propagandha made by some envy people....

Answer 5

I think acceptance rules and the partner with a lower education can make a change and improve. I may make this compromise if I accept the person and this person is trying to improve.
Nowadays many university graduates act and have knowledge like illiterate, so let us evaluate with something else. Our education system is not a good measure for people.

Answer 6

Asalam alaikum. My wife 'compromised' as you put it. She is Dr. I am only high school graduate. We married for deen first and foremost. When a man chooses a wife, he looks for the 4 qualities, and Im sure we all know that the deen is the highest of those. The parents should only refuse based on certain criteria, university degree is not one of them. The hadith basically says, "3 things should not be delayed, salat when its time has come, the burial of the deceased and the acceptance of proposal when a suitable man asks for your daughter" This is generally accepted to mean his deen....There are concerns that a couple should have somewhat similar levels of social status, or education etc, but its really sad when parents are sooo picky. It is a great cause of fitna in the umma that is has become so difficult to marry. may Allah(swt) guide us all as HE knows best.

By the way, i have a daughter nearing marriage age. And as long as the br that comes to ask for her, is of good deen, and I feel he will really try hard to support in this dunya and guide her to the Jennah, i dont care if he is the man that sweeps the parking lots, or is a rocket scientist. ( it would be nice if he owns a shwerma stand though ;)

May I add one thing; I dont have a unveristy degree....however if a man or woman has degree in say electronics, how does that have anything to do with how they will converse about say agriculture? I mean being well rounded is in my humble opinion far more important. I know people with ph'd's that can only speak with any interest in their field, cause thats all that interests them, yet i also people havent even finished high schoo, that can talk intelligently about many many subjects. Formal education is no replacement for life experience...although im all for it of course.

Answer 7

I don't mind if the person I love has a lower education level because the most important thing is love.

The education level does not make a person: values, feelings, integrity, moral and those things are important.

What would you prefer:

A husband with a high level education but who does not care about you? who makes domestic violence to you and your family? who is with you just because he is married with you but he does not love you?

or

A husband with a lower level education but who cares and loves you as the queen of his life? Who works hard so you and your family would be ok?

But as gigi said the problem is that some boys do not accept that their wives have a higher level education or a better job.

Answer 8

some times

Answer 9

For me it is not important about his education. What is important is what he contributes to the relationship. As he could have the best level of education but not be able to have a good relationship.

Also for me the work he chooses to do isn't important or the amount of money. I want to be able to talk to him about our relationship and what are important to us and he won't learn that in education but through experience from life.

Answer 10

I think he must be at the same level of my education or higher
I cant imagine anything rather than that &
Islam confirms Altakafo2 for the seek of the family

when there is a gap in educatuon & way of thinking between the parents , it will be reflected on their sons who notice that sooner or later

In my poor opinion , deen is first but education follows

Answer 11

of course there should be a relationship between the eductional levels
w kaman fi 7aga lw wa7ed aw wa7da in handsaa eah elly 7ay7'liha tt3aref 3ala sani3 assasen men elassases
u will drive me crazy
sweety:i will not agree lolz