What do you think of the synopsis for my book?

Question

Before time began, there were 5 Untimely Gods. They protected the Earth from alien invaders. But they were betrayed by Him. He was the samurai warrior. The force was broken and the other Gods were hidden amongst the normal people. War had commenced led by Him. Only one can defeat the evil samurai warrior and stop him destroying the universe. Her name is Syran. A seemingly ordinary girl from Bath. But all she wants to find is her long lost father and uncover her history. Will she be able to find the Untimely Gods and rebuild The Force before it’s too late as well as finding her father? But there’s a catch...

The book is called 'The Untimely Tale'

The one bad God is not Syran's father. The bad God was once a good one like all the other but saw an opportunity for power and took it.

I'm only 14! You've got to give me some credit! And no, this is not for some stupid school project!

Thanks for all your help. What about enchantment rather than force?

Answer 1

I would change "The Force" since it has been done to death in the Star Wars series. No matter how you define it, it would be related to Luke Skywalker.




g-day!

Answer 2

It sounds brill but I would go for 'Essence' rather than force or enchantment. The Samurai Warrior is also a great idea, maybe Syran thinks she is ordinary but she doesn't realise her Asian origin ties her into the story more than she realises? Keep me posted on how you get on with your book, oh maybe 'The Untimely Essence', or 'The Warrior of Legend' as a title (just some ideas) and here is a list of some famous Samurai Warrior's that might help with character names:

Minamoto Yoshiie, Minamoto Yoshitsune, Kusunoki Masashige, Sanada Yukimura, Uesugi Kenshin, Yamamoto Tsunetomo, Takeda Shingin,Sasaki Kojiro and Saigo Takamori.

Again good luck!

Answer 3

I absolutely positively love these kind of books, people at first sight don't think i'm a reader but my teacher used to call me a mad scientist because I loved to read science fiction books and they crammed my head full of terminology I would on no account have used if I didn’t read. Oh I almost forgot ur book sounds great if it gets published (which I hope it does) trust me to be the first one to get my hands on it. some how.

Answer 4

It sounds like you've got a good start. You've got a lot going on as far as the plot goes, so make sure you're able to tie it all into together in a way that the reader will enjoy.

And good luck!

Answer 5

Sounds good to me .... except I would make the following changes. I have your words in quotes and the changes I am suggesting follow.

"warrior and stop him destroying the universe"
warrior and stop him from destroying the universe

"girl from Bath. But all she wants to find"
girl from Bath, who only wants to find

BTW, the one bad God sounds like Darth Vader =}

Answer 6

You have a good premise but your wording is not catchy enough and your sentences are much too short and choppy.

I give you props though, and I like the title of your book.

Answer 7

Sounds intresting

Answer 8

I know y ou have had encouraging replies but I read a lot of fantasy fiction and so do you, by the look of what you have written, rather derivative and unoriginal to my mind, sorry

Answer 9

Let me guess the one god that is being bad is her dad?
it's agreat synopsis good luck.

Answer 10

best way of advertising your book but ifeel people here will cry for the community guideline you cannt do this you cannot propogate like that i will read your book best of luck