Egyptians, why do we....?

Question

Why do we not accept a man marrying more than one woman in our society? I'm asking Egyptians in particular cuz in most Arab countries like Saudi, UAE, and Yemen it is very common and well accepted by wives there, so u wud see a man married to 2 or more women and they are ok with it and getting a lot well, but not here in Egypt. My question is.. why are we Egyptians like that? I'm not saying I don't feel the same way like most Egyptian women do... I'm also totally against the idea of my husband marrying another woman, I'd kill him!! hehe, but ain't I, and women who feel the same way abt this issue sinful this way to not accept something that Islam permitted? I know it should be under some certain circumstances, but are we accepting that either! Also, there is another issue I wanna discuss.When a man marries another woman and is asked why u did that?he says I'm following sunnah"ba7yi elsunnah" well,did he follow sunnah in other things more important that that?

did he follow all ferood and wajibat required in Islam?or he just picked what fits him best and suits his desires and chose to follow it!

I meant to say getting along well. typo :)

Omar G- how abt being a little polite? and thinkin that Egyptians are the dumbest...... shows how very dumb and ignorant u r. that q was for Egyptians, why the hell did u answer? wala howa talaee7 getat we khalas!

eh ya hasafer enta masada2t ba2a! r u welling to marry more than 4 or what! lol
just kidding
I know what u mean, but such women who reach a certain age and don't compromise do not have to compromise by marrying a married man. there shud be other suitable ones like older in age, divorced, widowed, or those who have less finanical or academic standards. But I know most will not compromise with such things. well,they will regret it later

Noor- Poverty in Egypt isn't the main issue. It could be a reason why one would not marry another woman, but there are many wealthy men who have only one wife :) and if all Egyptian men who will get rich will marry more than one wife, then I hope they stay poor. hahaha

Rana- yes me too, I'd never agree to be a 2nd wife, I'd rather stay single too. be na2is ba2a!
Noha- I agree with u. afkar eh, I'm not saying they should, I'm asking why we, including me, don't accept it. I know my husband is very loyal to me and wud never do anything like that (and I would never let him do that) hehe. what a sad story u told us. It is very shocking indeed to know something abt a loved one who passed away and to find out they were not so faithful to u :((

Psycho- I know exactly what u mean.. and there is nothing wrong with growing a beard. I know some MUSLIMS look oddly at it, and it's sad. by the way, my dad is a shiekh and grows his beard (ever since I laid an eye on him) and he is an engineer as well

Farah- nothing needs to be said after what u said!!!!!!!! love ya girl! ;)

Noha- no ya habibty ur wrong, SOME men don't have a heart, but there are a lot of men who have a pure heart like a baby. hope u will find one ;)

Hope- I agree with u, if someone loves his wife truely, he will never wanna be with anyone else

Butterfly- no u did not over react. seriously, what a jerk!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

I have just engaged in battle with a friend over this question of yours, Allah yisam7ik ya Ruby! For the guys claiming that this is sunnah why do they seem to forget that the Prophet (PBUH) stipulated that his daughter Fatma should be the only wife? Why do you forget that each and every marriage of the Prophet (PBUH) was for a reason and under certain circumstances at the time? And why do you forget that God said that you won't be able to be fair to both, and being fair is the main condition for remarrying? I dare any man to claim that he can be even a fraction of what the Prophet (PBUH) was to his wives. Why do you remember the polygamy part while forgetting the part concerning how to deal with your wives and how to treat them properly, isn't that sunnah too?!!

For those claiming that the poor unmarried girls deserve a chance too, have you forgotten that there are lots of poor unmarried men who can't afford to get married? Why not help a young man get married and take the thawab instead of remarrying yourself?

And I know for a fact that lots, I'm not saying all, of those girls who have passed the age of marriage and are still unwilling to compromise have refused lots of decent suitors before just because he was not 100% ready or was not handsome enough or any other stupid reason. Some prefer to pursue their career ambitions before getting married then realize that they are old and still unmarried. What right do those girls have after that to steal a husband from his wife and to wreck a home? If they want to marry they have other options such as widowers or divorced or older men. But no, they refuse to compromise and want to have it all. They go after a man who has that "all" forgetting that another woman struggled with him till they reached this point in their lives and achieved all they did. What right do they have to enjoy the fruit of another woman's toil? Lots of young people nowadays want to start from where their parents ended and have no wish to struggle for what they wish to achieve in life. They just take the fruit of other people's toil. It's sickening and disgusting, and for all I care they can stay spinsters for the rest of their lives. They had their chance and they blew it so they have no right to complain now.

The only reason I believe a man can remarry is if his wife is unable to fulfill her duties and obligations towards him. He has no right to do that just because he happened to become rich after his wife ista7milit ma3ah ilaraf and then 3eno za3'it 3ala wa7da tanya! Tafasa wi ilit adab!

Edit:
Thanks Ruby, I love you too Mwah! But still, Allah yisam7ik! hehehe My blood pressure hit the roof like it does every time I have this debate! I'm assuming that the thumbs down I got are from men! hehehe I was expecting more than that! lol

Answer 2

I'll tell you why...there are ppl who's complaining they don't have money to get married or even have the ability to propose to a girl...and others who marry more than wife...
i say this many times...Allah allowed this for specific reason...not for men's "tafasa"...sorry that's how i see it....

i say this stuff"bye7ye el sunna" in a show where the interviewer was sending his congrats to some shiekh for getting a second wife.....!
y3ny we are following every sunna of the prophet and that what is left?!! 7'las y3ny?!
i answered a q about this before and got the best answer ;)..I'll bring it for you
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AkdR_LavR5Yk.507qRVnxlbty6IX;_ylv=3?qid=20070815023119AAbPD57&show=7#profile-info-SGkRAPRgaa

and as far as I'm concerned ,I'd rather stay single,or a widow or a divorcee than to be the second wife...hell no!!

Answer 3

Hi, I suppose you said it yourself, Islam allows it, now if the individual does the other forood or not, it is his choice. Many men do all the forood and sunnas and yet they are married only to one woman and vise versa. Do you think getting married to more than a woman help in solving the problems of many women who missed the (train) as we say. By the way I am married to one woman do al the forood, miss some sunnas and not thinking of getting married again. Best regards and Ramadan mubarak.

Answer 4

"Love" between a woman and a man and vise versa, holds a lot of selfishness. U want the one u love all for yourself, they are prohibited to share their emotions, feelings and even their touch with anybody else. U want them to be exclusive. Nobody who "truly romantically loves" his partner can accept sharing all of the above with someone else.

If this is the situation for men why not for women too, aren't we all humans.

In most Arab countries u mentioned, their marriage is not for love, but more often arranged marriage between families so the concept of "true love" is not present. Off course they love their husbands but for many other different reasons.

@Farah: Allah yenawar Aleiky. Thumbs up.

Answer 5

I think we don't accept that because the man who married 2 women is usually not fair to one of them. Of course this is not what Islam stated for marrying more than once. If the man is fair to women they will be fair as well.

Answer 6

I think because the culture in Egypt is more Mediterranean than Arabian so we r much closer to the way Europeans see this (hey; i'm not saying we are not Arabs coz we are )just we are more open to euorpe.And also u might find it familiar in upper Egypt [sa2d] than ba7ari COZ MANY IN EL SA2ED ARE FROM originally arab tribes

Answer 7

There is a difference between allowed, and have to follow in Islam, yes male polygamy is allowed in Islam (till 4 of course)without any conditions than being fair (only in materialistic matters , emotion wise The prophet loved al sayda 3aisha more ..) , but there are things which are allowed and we for the sake of the peace in society , do not do them,, (well.. maidens are allowed in Islam, do you see that men are having maidens anymore but in some countries(in a hidden way)….a quick story: when they told Omer about a handsome man , he brought him and ordered him to cover his face , did not work so he ordered to cut his hair, then sent him away , to a different place, just because he was a danger on the peace of society … being handsome is not prohibited in Islam, but we do things to maintain the stability of societies even if it is allowed by religions,,,
Let’s look at some numbers:

Sex ratio in Saudi Arabia
1.05 male(s)/female under 15 years: 1.04 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 1.314 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 1.11 male(s)/female
total population: 1.196 male(s)/female (2007 est.)

Sex ratio in the world
at birth: 1.07 male(s)/female
under 15 years: 1.064 male(s)/female
15-64 years: 1.024 male(s)/female
65 years and over: 0.781 male(s)/female
total population: 1.014 male(s)/female (2007 est

We can see from the previous numbers that , the increase of the- unmarried females phenomena- is not due to the more number of females over male,, just males do not want to get married, or females only see and choose their dreamy men (the rest are invisible to them hahaha)
I am not a preacher, (left that to Adam and others) , the fact that Islam asked for the stability and the strength of families as small units of the society, would overcome the license which was given in a certain time, and circumstances
example :we have to limit the import/export of some products like clothing or some luxury food items, those are allowed by religion, but we do that for the sake of the society, I think religions give us the right to arrange our life according to our circumstances to achieve at the end their spirits , and the stability to our people


Edit : why we do not take' Abraham ', 'Sarah;, and' Hagar' as an example of the problems which can happened when married to more than one (and they are not even comparable to us ) where should a man take his second wife when the jealousy starts between the two women,,, to Antarctica,, ha?

***In a religious -male's culture dominant- society, what would be better, than wrong interpretation of the religion ,to gain a lead on women ,to satisfy and justify the greed of males’ desires? (betlakiko beldeen ya3nee)

…

Answer 8

1st of all i can never imagine my husband with another woman like u said i'd kill him.

2nd if we accept them to get married from more than one 7ateb2a heisaaa, 3ashan el welad bgd 3enhom fargha, i was at the hair dresser doing my hair yesterdayn he told me that he's getting married, n i was like how come u are already married and have 3 kids, did u fight with your wife he said no we're fine n she's a sweet heart...so i was like then why r u getting married from another, he said mesh a7san ma3'deb rabena el bent 3agbani....it made me feel disgusting about men, really, i felt that they r just following their instinct like the animals....what do u think about this????

a man who has to get married from another must have a serious reason to do that, n this is wt our religion says...

7aga te2ref....ma3lish i over reacted :(

Answer 9

Asalam alaikum. Im already ready for the thumbs down. :) There are allowable reasons for having more than one wife, some seem to our "modern"sensibilities better than others. Take Chechnya, soooo many widows, if a man were to marry one and treat her equally etc, she wouldnt have to struggle, and could be home to raise her children etc...A mans wife goes into a coma ( it happened here and he had a gf and children with her) of course the man loves her still and cares for her, but he is a man and has certain needs so he marries again to stay away from the haram . I sure you get my point. So sisters, please dont let jealousy prevent you from loving your fellow sisters in Islam and sometimes the only way for a widow etc to have support is to be a second wife. People say this was only in the old times, but its just not true, there are countless sisters in many places that need help....does it Have to be by marriage, no, but it certainly is not a bad thing.

Sahar, and all my brothers and sisters. One 'requirement' of being a muslim is to be an advocate of shari'a law. Yes we do cut off hands, have public executions, you can see them in KSA. I wont get into the debate about that it Must be done...but we cant shy away from what Allah(swt) has ordained, trying to make Islam look better to the 'west'. We risk diluting our own religion to the point that we are just like the west. subhanAllah

on last thing on avatars or signs etc, Displaying a star of David (as) a cross, etc, is forbidden, as it is imitation of the Christians and Jews. Please dont do this. There is hadith about offending Allah(swt) in ways we dont even know. Allah knows best.

Answer 10

in an Aya in the quran said wa len ta3deloo u are not going to be fair ....i am not going to discuss it 3alashan maftesh (i dont want to say a wrong thing )..........................anyway i will tell u something in islam a man can marry another in certain circumstances and also a woman has the right to leave her husband in certain circumstances so does our societe will accept that ??????? will the man himself accept that?????.........................................u know when a marrid women came to our beloved prophet Mohammed (3aleeh el salat we el salam) and she told him that her husband is sooo good and kind and religous and perfect but the proplem is that she feel that she doesnt accept him he told her what did he gave u when u got marrid she said a garden he told her then give him the garden and leave him ..............also a man s wife always shouted on him so he went to abo baker house to tell him about his wife he found that abo baker(rady Allah 3anoh) s wife is shouting at him then he went to omar ebn el khatab (rady Allah 3anooh)he found out that his wife also shouting at him then the man was on his way home Omar ebn Elkhatab saw him and told him what do u want to tell me ? he said i wanted to tell u that my wife is shouting on me but i found out that u are in the same situation Omar ebn Elkhatab said bema m3nah zawgtna byra3o el awelad we........fa mafehash 7aga law nesta7melhom

Edit: hey hasafer then what about the youth (men) who didnt get marrid is this a proplem for a man marries only one