I would request Indian friends to help my friend in his decision..?

Question

this is a case of my friend , whose wife was in depression and not taking any treatment wanted freedom thru divorce. They both got married in early 2001( arranged ), stayed apart due to work and then joined inthe yr 2002.. husband was too much concentrating on his work ..and had to tour often.. wife working in a co. No kids , she felt helpless she was very angry with her husband and was aloof and indifferent to her inlaws . was in a bout of depression in yr 2004 and walked away to her parents citing that she cant continue any longer ( reasons not happy .. ) , my friend wanted her to b treated , she & her parents didnt co-operate ..she demanded money and divorce for her freedom and got it . ( thru mutual , my friend was very much against it though ) . after much of realisation ,their parents started treating her for her depression and she now she is better and feels she made a mistake of leaving or deserting him.She now approaches my friend for living again together. pls help

Answer 1

Since they are divorced as you state, now their living together as husband & wife is not legal unless they remarry again. I personally feel although this lady was under an attack of depression when she insisted for divorce but now since her treatment she is normal, it will not be advisable for this man to marry her again. You don't know this mental condition of this lady may be some sort of genetical problem that may reoccur again anytime & may again cause the same matrimonial dispute between them. I suggest this man should not take risk of remarrying her again for his own mental balance otherwise he may turn a into a mental patient in near future living with her once again. As there are no kids to them, the question of any suffering for kids for want of any ones company doesn't arise. He should keep sentiments aside & just ignore her request of living together again.

Answer 2

This is acase in which the lady you have cited has acted in haste. Her parents, instead of explaining to her, the ills of divorce has gone with her request and got a divorce for her.
I will not say the fault was entirely on one side. The husband, knowing that he has to go on tour very often should have understood that if they had got a child with in a reasonable period after marriage the child would have become the bridge and the question of divorce would not have arisen.
Some one very close to the husband should find out from him ,discreetly, whether he still would like to have his wife back. If he is really a good person he will take her back. We should not forget that he has been hurt deeply. The girl's parents must go to him and tender apologies for not guiding their daughter properly. I hope everything will be sorted out amicably.

Answer 3

well marriage is not game, where u can get marry or take divorce often, she has 1st to find the reason behind the depression, & she has not taked simple divorce, else she would not take any money., now she want to return means she is selfish & do not undersatnd her ex husband., she more focused on her feelings & in marriage u have to see 1st yr patner's feelings., if she had done that then no divorce had taken place, & now on her realisation she want to be back again she is not thinking what he will feel., so i think she is not right lady for yr friend. Yr friend should say no to her & find some one who can understand & care him

Answer 4

History has a nasty habit of repeating itself. So dont do it. Dont go near her, let her find her own peace.

If her old symptoms start again you will be back to square one, any way its already proved that the both of you were not ment to be happy together or else you would already have found happiness in her company.

Tell your friend to move on and find someone else and this time be honest about the job requirements, the time apart etc.

Answer 5

try to think of her underlying motives.
she may have feelings for your friend, but could there be any reason other than love that makes her want to get back??
does she have a job, in need of financial help, or doing it to 'save face', family pressure?.

if you do find that she really does want to get back with your friend only because of her feelings for him, maybe they should try it out for a while.
if they dont mind living together, without being married, then maybe they should have trial period. then if they find that they can live together and resolve any issues they may have, they can start thinking further into the future....

but your friend should only get back with her if he still likes her enough and forgives her for divorcing him, in other words is not hurt by the past, and only looks toward the future. If he cant get over the past, then diffuculties may arise if he gets emotional about the past, and this will definatly put alot of strain on the relationship,

Answer 6

Hey, at least she has got better, if your friend wants her back then why not a reconciliation. What you have written, why did your friend get married if he is already married to his work.. A marriage is sacred, where two people are together, off course the wife was angry any wife would be, you have to work at a marriage, be there for one another, sharing and doing things together, having kids.. It can't always be work work work, if its work and you can't commit then don't get married. She wasn't in her right mind and sometimes you feel if you are stuck with a problem you just want to go away. I think your friend has to decide what he should do, if they do get back together, they have to work at their marriage, it doesn't happen on its own. God put two people together to share their lives as one. I think they are both to blame, its nice to see that they both have realised. I wish them both good luck.. opportunities don't come like this everyday.

Answer 7

This is a point where everything done not only as per Law, but also in concurrence and a lot of probable consultation with relatives and also friends.As exists any reversal such as reunion is purely a personal decision.We have to anticipate the repetition of earlier happenings.It is advisable to leave her live peaceful in her own way.Time will heal everything.

Answer 8

Hey life gives a second chance to everyone. Not a promise that this will not repeat but some cases I have seen - atleast two where there is a reunion after mutual realization - Generally a success! May GOD bless you, your friend and family.

Answer 9

If your friend is serious for her company and for the same purpose he insist her for treatment and now the result of that is positive and she realized her mistake and now he should go to her home to come back. It is very easy to break any relation but hard to rejoin again. So do it fast without wasting your time and start your family life once again and it's God gifted chance to you, catch it.

ALL THE BEST AND WISHING YOU A HAPPY MARRIED LIFE

Answer 10

Nothing like it. Depression is the number 1 health problem in India. Its not Aids or Cancer. If the guy is ok with it, i dont think there should be any issues. However if the guy is not ok with it, he should straight away tell her and end the matter for once and for all.