I really need the money to pay bills, but I am afraid to ask. I haven't seen him in three years. The last time I saw him was at my wedding, he and my step mom (who hates me) didn't give even us a wedding gift. I'll be asking him over the phone tonight. Does anyone have any idea how I should approach this? What should I say? I'm really nervous about asking him-I used to "borrow" money from him all the time in college and never paid him back. The last time I asked him for money was in 1997 ($3500) to go to a vocational school that I ended up quitting and I never paid him back-and my step mom thinks I'm a loser. I have a good job now, but I got behind on bills and am desperate for the money.
2007-09-07 22:57:37 · 15 answers · asked by surf b 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
there’s no harm asking. if he has a lot of dough, he might lend you some. but since you haven’t repaid his $3900…. I think it might not look very good. if he can’t lend you $4000… maybe ask him what is the minimum that you can borrow. for the moment, stop spending on things that will increase ur debt and also if he does lend you (or not) remember to pay back whatever you have owed him. this will increase your truthworthiness if you need more loans in the future. If not, he will have a good reason to think that you are just eating his money.
good luck (you can get a back loan if this doesn’t work or other sources like friends. but make sure you pay back or no one will help you ever again!)
2007-09-07 23:09:07 · answer #1 · answered by Spidergurl 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You should file for bankruptcy and take full responsibility for your mistakes.. sounds like you have made many mistakes in the past and taken advantage of you fathers kindness.. sounds like that is a good reason why you and your step mother dont get along!
I wouldnt call him. Why continue to take advantage of your father and put him in a bind when you did this yourself. If anything you should learn from all the things you have screwed up on and with your good job pay off all your debts on your own.
You know if your dad gives you the money you will not pay him back. How can you feel comfortable asking to BORROW money when you know you are really asking to HAVE the money!
How old are you??
2007-09-07 23:09:33 · answer #2 · answered by crazycovey21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask for the money then I would suggest you talk repayment plan by haveing a certain amount of your pay check alloted to your father each pay check Parents will cut you off money wise if you never plan on returning the money This lesson is to teach you to budjet rent groceries and bills He needs to know you are responsible Try takeing a finacial class at your local community center and learn to live within your means Try getting a second job Demo clerks in the grocery store on weekends make 12 dollars an hour Make the side job money to pay back your dad Put the repayment agreement in writeing and have it noterized to show you are serious
2007-09-07 23:14:12 · answer #3 · answered by chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well this is a difficult one considering the fact that you don't even talk to the man and now you want to ask him for money. Yes he is your father but you should talk to him once in awhile. If you have a good job what did happen with the bills anyway well will save that one for another day because you know that if they already think you are a looser that one just might come up. See you have to kind of prove yourself in life and you are really living up to their expectations of you. I know everybody falls on hard times and crud happens like medical emergencies and job losses but if you are just overextending yourself or spending on friviolous things then there will probably be little mercy and no money for you. Hopefully you can find a good excuse as to why you have not talked to him, why you are behind on your bills, why you can't get it from someone else, I truly cant tell you what to say because I don't know the answer to these questions. However good luck to you. And remember the worst he can say is no right.
2007-09-07 23:09:15 · answer #4 · answered by Darkchild 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Friend,
The way you have written you look to be in a real jam. But whatever you have written it gives me a feeling that all is not well with your father. You have already done a blunder in not keeping touch with him. But , all said and done, your father still may have some love left for you in him.
Since your position is very desperate and there is no other alternative than to request your father to help you out. He may shout at you or tell something else also. Tell him you will behave like a good son to him hereafter. You can go to the extent of telling him that you will execute a bond for return of the money with in a specific period and if you are sincere you should you should keep your word.
Try with your father, and God willing , you may succeed. Best of luck.
2007-09-07 23:56:15 · answer #5 · answered by Bala 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmm, I wonder what gives your step-mother the idea you are a loser?
Why haven't you sucked it up and tried to arrange other methods of paying the bills you created? I'm sure there could be arrangements for payments if you speak with the creditors.
You need to get yourself on track. You will not be creating anything good by asking for help in 'lying' to your dad, will you? If the roles were reversed, wouldn't you get tired of your dad always asking for $ and he'd cop out with a phoney story? I'm sure he would be 'afraid to ask' also!
Paying SOMETHING on those bills is better than paying NOTHING. Don't worry! You get together with the creditors and work something out. You show them what you CAN do and pay per your income and your DESIRE to pay the bills.
As for paying your dad back, haven't you figured it out by now that you could've at least done some work for him all along to show you care? [I'm not just blowing smoke, dude. I was poor with 3 kids, but I helped out my parents for years even though I didn't have $ to pay them back; they knew I gave a darn and cared for THEM.]
I don't mean to be rude, but you mentioned you got married, can't your wife help you or isn't she in the picture, either?
People will listen to you when you are earnest in your promises. Stick it out, you'll do fine! Good luck!
2007-09-08 01:03:32 · answer #6 · answered by caves51 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
this is a tough one.....do you have anything of value that he could keep until you could pay him back? just tell him the truth...it really dosent hurt to ask...let him know that you wouldnt go to him unless you truly needed it...let him know about how your life is now...a lot can change over time and you never know he may suprise you with his answer....if he doesnt believe that you will be using the money for what you say its intended for maybe make copies of what you pay for the bills and show him....if they dont add up to exactly 4,000 give him back what you dont use....
2007-09-07 23:12:08 · answer #7 · answered by Bouillon 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Instead of asking your father to borrow money, sincerely ask him for advice. Tell him that you know you've had problems, but your in a bad spot again and you don't know what to do. That's what parents are for. Maybe he can help you figure out a way to get through this rough patch, or maybe he can help you out with some cash, but let that be his decision. As for your step-mom, it's none of her damn business. I hate meddling step parents!
2007-09-07 23:07:34 · answer #8 · answered by Kerry 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋
even even with the undeniable fact which you already lied - you will tell the reality. Your dad needless to say cares approximately you or he does not have given a crizzap which you had detention. in reality continuously the final answer. I propose extremely - you got a detention for not stapling some thing right into a e book???? not a great deal. The lie is the bigger deal. Your dad will admire you and spot it as an illustration of adulthood in case you come back sparkling with him. solid good fortune!
2016-10-18 07:37:49 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best approach is to be honest.
You don't need to be making excuses, you have a reason.
Maybe an apology for no contact, or payback is in order.
2007-09-07 23:08:34 · answer #10 · answered by laughinglady 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋