This Is Going to be a long question about my BF?

Question

I am 19 .he is 20, We have been dating for 2yrs.
I cheeted on him in oct.(2006)
ever since then our relationship is on rocks.I am Bi-Polar and he knows that, he does not seem to try and understand how it works and it affects me.He is a very devote Christian and i do not believe in religion only godHe is in College 4 hours away and it is hard to get in touchHe is clean cut, no drugs,alchohol,etc I grew up on the rough side of life, i have drank, i have 3 tattoos,And now i bow down to him to make him happy.After 2 yrs we are more apart than we ever were.How do we restart the relationship and try to make it right? what are some things we can do to get along, We are soooo different and he takes everything out on me. Ex-I had to get a wal-mart credit card just so i could use it to buy food for me &mom,we cant pay for stuff evry 2 wks,so instead of paying each time we only pay 20$ a month for it so we can eat.He got pissed at me for getting it cuz he wud nvr get a credit card.

Answer 1

From the way he is behaving....he is acting like a freak. He also seems to be jealous of u....but thats not the whole truth...just think why he's still going with u even after almost a yr since u cheated on him.....try to understand him like u are a marketer trying to understand ur customers.

He is probably from a traditional close-knit family and in that setting he was brought up with a strict set of values...He's whole family is also probably Christian....with strong religious ties that further binds him to his value system....as u described he is clean cut, no alcohol, no drugs,etc.....

He is the type of guy who is sincere, compassionate, loving, and more importantly loyal (all due to his value system)....he loves u but he also loves his family....he wants to be with u but he also wants to stand by his value system...its very normal..it always happens when two people are opposites of each other...but that doesn't mean u r incompatible...in some cases both partners in love are exactly like each other while in others its opposites who attract..either case u hav to work hard to maintain a relationship

what u need to do here is understand him from his point of view....u r bipolar and he can't seem to adapt to the truth (probably cos his religion condemns it)...u cheated on him once and he cant forget it (cos in his value system loyality is most important)...he is probably in shock and denial but is cuckooned inside his shell where his girlfriend can't reach him but a friend can...be that friend...to get him back u'll hav to 4get u r together and instead act like just friends...be cheerful around him but do not bow to him to make him happy...if possible take a friend with u when u meet with him (will help in avoiding akwardness)

u hav come a long way in 2 yrs of relationship and will hav to walk backwards now back to ur starting point...then build ur relationship based on true friendship...wher both of u appreciate the differences among u, rather than try to find similarities and get annoyed when u find u r different.

if u lov him, u'll find urself immersed in his values slowly and adopting them. he too will start moving towards ur values and soon u'll both reach a mid-point where u find urselves compatible to each other...

till then let this be ur mantra - he loves u thats why is still with u after 1 yr of sour relationship, he's just taking time to understand u but at the end he's all urs

Answer 2

If you are speaking truthfully, is sounds like you have some tough issues, a few that might be difficult to overcome. From your explanation, you appear to blame other's and blame your actions on outside conditions and do not take responsibility as much as maybe you should. This is just an observation and I am not trying to assault you personally. You also sound a little resentful by what you have typed.

If you did "cheat" on him, that is you and you alone, not any medical disorder or outside influences exerting control over your behavior.
I am well aware of Bi-Polar disorder. I hope you aren't blaming that for the reason you cheated, as it does not cause that sort of behavior. Bi-Polar is very hard to live with and not a lot of people can understand what you go through. If he can't understand or try to, it might be best to find someone else that will. If someone loves you, I mean really loves you, they will accept you for who you are, faults and all.

If you can, please see a health professional if you haven't already. They may get both of you to speak out about real or imagined problems, possibly finding a solution for all if not some of them.

Good Luck.

Answer 3

You are way too immature and irresponsible to be in a relationship. You use a credit card to buy food for you and your mom and only pay $20 a month on the card? No one can eat on that amount! If you keep that up, you are going to be so far in debt that you will never get out.

Does your mom work? Do you work? If not, get a job. And don't blame your situation on being bi-polar! I have known several people who are bi-polar, and they are well adjusted productive people. Are you on meds for it? See a doctor and get meds to keep you on track.

Just because you have had a rougher life, doesn't mean that you can't change. If you can't be faithful to your boyfriend, then please do him a favor and break up with him. It doesn't sound like you two have that much in common anyway.

Sorry if I sound a little harsh, but you need to grow up and accept some responsibility! Please work on it. Good luck!

Answer 4

Sounds to me like you have a few too many differences. You yourself said you are growing apart in the last two years. Since you are 19 and 20 that to me would be a sure sign that its time to move on. You are both young and were very young when you started this relationship. You must understand that not all relationships are meant to be and this one definitely is not. Find yourself someone who you are more compatible with and understands your bipolarness. You will be happier in the end. Good luck.

Answer 5

Opposites can attract, but not all the time.
You've cheated on him for a year now? Okay, well that must be good for your relationship.

Well, go out and just try to have fun. Go skating in the winter, watch a movie, like a comedy! Everyone loves comedy! Spend time together without getting on each other's nerves, don't plan things out, make it all spontaneous.

Answer 6

I think the question is "Why did you cheated?"
you'll have to answer it yourself otherwise you will do it again and again because you never will understand the feeling of being cheated....If your in his place,i think you will probably broke up with him but he did not because he love you and dont want to hurt you...as for your information,he must be pretty hurt that you've been treating your body so much.
I know you will learn from you mistakes...Hanging ou with him will not do...You cannot go back to the past to change your mistakes and its up to you if your gonna confess it to him and beg for forgiveness or hide the truth to him...hiding the truth is too similar to betraying....So i guess you had betrayed him.....if u love him give him freedom,that way he will be happy.......Love is in that condition that an other person's hapiness is essential to your own...it means you will be happy if he will be free.

Answer 7

I think the 1st step is getting on some medication to treat your bi-polar.
I don't see this relationship lasting. Four hours away? Trust me, if either one of you wanted to contact the other, you would. Have you ever gone to see him? Has he ever come to see you?
If you need food, contact your American Red Cross. They are very helpful.
He didn't help you get food? He just gets pissed at you for trying to survive?
Dump his butt, he seems useless to me!

Answer 8

i feel u folks are a little too different. the chances of it working out long term is kinda hard. its not impossible but from the looks, its tough.

if u wanna restart the relationship, he needs to be kinder to you and you have to stop ur drinking and cheating. Close the gap.

Answer 9

I would suggest ending this and moving on to someone that would be better suited for you. He cheated and he's the religious one. He doesn't understand you and you have many differences.

Answer 10

The blunt truth is that you two are in no way compatible, I see no joy in your relationship. Time to say goodbye.