Low Self Esteem, how do I build up?

Question

Ive tried, and yet I don't see myself as handsome, good looking, or much of anything. Ive done everything, Ive changed my friends, boughten expensive clothes, work out all the time, whiten my teeth, feed to my every insecurity, and pretended to be happy,. I don't like who I am, yet I feel I need "theses people", my low self esteem has caused me to not trust anyone, and how can I. Mostly everyone see's me as a happy, excentric person, but I'm dying inside, I feel alone and sad, but I'm also gay and I feel like it has led to all theses insecurities, how can I gain self esteem, I know I'm a fake person at skool, but in reality, I feel aweful. May some one please tell me how I can gain some confidence,. I feel really down,. :(

Yes I have been doing a lot to try and better myself, It's just I feel like my sexuality gets in the way of things, I'm not confused, or weak, all I need are some helpful hints to re-gaining some self esteem, and ridding of my distorted body image,.

Thank you all who have responded with such postive words and expiriences :)

<3

Answer 1

Hey ,
There is a difference between self-esteem and body image and many people don't know this.
Self-esteem is all about how much people value themselves, the pride they feel in themselves, and how worthwhile they feel while body image is how a person feels about his or her own physical appearance and body image can be closely linked to self-esteem.
well it's obvious that you are suffering from a distorted body image.
So here is some ways that may help you gain confidence :
Celebrate your body and the marvelous things it can do when you are fit and well-nourished. So often, we take these things for granted.
Move and enjoy your body. Go walking, swimming, biking, and dancing. Do yoga, aerobics, and weight training…. not because you have to, but because it makes you feel strong and energized.
Surround yourself with people who have a healthy relationship with food, weight, and their bodies. It will make a difference in how you feel about yourself.
Stop your negative thoughts and statements about yourself. Focus on what you love about yourself. Compliment yourself. Talk to your body the way you would talk to a good friend.
Reclaim your own inner strength. Focus on the unique qualities and personality traits that make you a special and successful person.
Nurture your inner self. Enjoy things you find relaxing (e.g. music, bubble baths, fragrances, candles, massages, reading, writing, napping), be close to nature (e.g. garden, sunsets, beach, stars), and/or seek spiritual connection (e.g. prayer, meditation, inspirational reading, reflection). Feeling good on the inside is key to feeling good on the outside.
Examine the degree to which your self-esteem depends upon your appearance. Although it may seem natural to wish you looked like a fashion model or a body builder, basing your happiness on this desire may lead to failure. Unrealistic goals can prevent you from exploring ways to enhance your life.
Broaden your perspective.Talk to people you trust, read books about body image, or write in a journal. These activities may help you to recognize emotionally destructive thoughts and put body image into perspective.
I hope that help you
Take care.

Answer 2

First of all: this website is a great one for youth issues such as depression, friendship, relatonships etc. You should check it out

http://www.reachout.com.au/home.asp

Now what I think (the websites better ;)

As you say you dont trust anyone, maybe forming more meaningful relationships will make you happier. Find someone like you- or some one you can tell everything to. It feels great to confide everything to someone.

If you are unhappy because you feel like you're being fake, stop being fake. You've 'come out' already to some friends and family: take stock of who your real friends are. If you feel a greater need for affirmation and acceptance of your identity: why not tell them too, if you think it won't effect the friendship.

Maybe you're over extending yourself: take time to relax. Sleep 8 hours a night, eat healthy food etc.

Spend less time online: the internet depresses me too.

How to gain more confidence...well that's a difficult question. You think your lack of confidence is relating to being 'fake'; maybe this has resulted in some part of you not fully accepting yourself as gay, and you're feeling lost. Society puts a lot of stereotypes on gay people, so I imagine that this is a difficult 'label' to adopt. Why not just focus on being 'you', an equal human being, deserving of respect, who is gay, but your sexuality shouldn't be the defining aspect of your personality.

Music makes me happy.

Hope you feel better soon.

Answer 3

Self Esteem starts from with in and not with others. Some have said that you need to find some one. What you need is to find your self. Don't be a fake be you. Just because your gay does not mean that you have to do or be anything else other than your self. I used to say that nobody loves me. I use to believe it. The thing that turn me around was I start to do things by my self and for my self I did not listen to all the people around me ( and believe me they were cruel) I listen to my own needs. So start with little things that only you like to do and just be good to your self. After a time you will build yourself to the point where you are ready to have people in your life. Don't forget that they don't change. It is only us that show how we are and then they start to like us because we like we show them our best side. I here you say you don't have one yes you do. I like to way you write so write more. stories where you are all that you want be and on how good you are in the world that you build. What a wonderful place that would be. I think that might b e the place to start.

Answer 4

To get started, and quickly get in touch with your confidence (you do have it, you're just not in touch with it), think about what you CAN do.
Sports? COOKING! Treating friends well? Writing (this entry was good, you can journal and express yourself)? Games? Doodling? Making humor? Show respect for others?
You have to notice and accept that you do well in a number of areas. Focus on those and realize that they are expressions of your talent and value. Really see how successful you are in the things you currently take for granted.
We can get depressed when we are unbalanced between looking inside ourselves (try this more) and looking at life and events outside ourselves (try this less). Basing our sense of value/worth upon comparisons to others is a waste of time. Notice others and be inspired to excel, but don't think less of yourself because you're not more like someone else. There is a specialness about you that nobody else has. Nobody else is quite like you, with your combination of interests, talents, skills and ideas.
If you don't change yourself, how can it happen? You have control over your thoughts and feelings when you put the effort out to obtain it.
Be patient and forgiving with yourself. You're your own best friend.

Answer 5

1st of all you need to love yourself. think happy thought and out all those sad ones to the back of your mine and get some help. go see a councellar and tell him everything you just rote on here, they dont judge you they only help. being gay isnt a bad thing so you should come out and tell people and be happy about it, your different and as far as im concerened we dont need any more fakes so stop acting and be yourself. that will make you so much happier. i went through a tough time aswell and im only 14. i was cutting and everything, i planned to hang myself but i never went through with it just seriously you cant give up. you gotta keep going and going till you get where you want to be, think of a dream and follow it, do somethin fun, something you enjoy which will hopefully get ur mind of all the things hurting you inside. be happy :D smile for me

hope you get better

Answer 6

sounds to me like you need someone to talk to and vent to.
do your parents know about your depression?
if so, tell them that you would like to see a therapist perhaps.

if not, then whenever you're comfortable talking, and they're ready to talk (not super-busy, etc.) just tell them how you feel. you don't have to tell them you're gay, if you haven't already. just tell them how you desperately need someone to talk to you, who won't judge you and will give you good advice!
you can say it in whatever way you want.

i had, and still do have a self-esteem problem. last year, i hated myself, every aspect of myself, so much that i almost killed myself. after that, i felt so low. the lowest i have ever felt in my life. you don't want to go there. and i'm only thirteen. i just felt so depressed, and then disappointed in myself.

PLEASE, talk to your parents about it!

Answer 7

Maybe your not gay...Your confused about your man hood and how to be a man. Some ppl are wierd because they are meant to be different, and set apart from the others.When you opened your self to being gay you felt these things, retrace.It could be you thinking your gay is to why you don't like who you are.

Answer 8

You're not the only gay person, why not try to find some other gays and hang out sometimes?

Answer 9

Find someone who likes you for who you are, and just pour all of yourself into them. I mean, let them fill you with themselves too. You might start to find your insecurities slipping away.

Answer 10

Dont feel like your alone,Just try and....i dont know, its hard to say on here,YTry and find someone who you can vent