with sexual temptaions toward her young cousin. she is like our daughter, she spends lots of time @ our house and we go swimming together, and she is 13-14 years old, very lovely blonde, slender, and very curvy. however she has not wuite learned how to act with certain clothes on...she wears low cut shirts and i can totally see down her chest. she goes swimming in very skimpy bikinis and acts as if she is wearing jeans! how do i train my thoughts away from the sexual temptations, and just love her like i did before she reached maturity!?
2007-09-07 19:55:45 · 14 answers · asked by j-man 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
first of all, feed your desires -- but feed them beyond adequacy with your wife. Pour out your love for her in every way that you can, and be receptive to her love pouring out on you as well. Be passionate, be intense -- with her and her alone, and her with you.
Then, don't feed your desires -- avoid looking at her when she is demonstrating as she is. Maybe you should express concern to your wife (who should also feel concern for her own cousin) that this 'bloom still in the bud' is trying to grow up too fast, being too revealing, etc. I'm not sure if your wife can handle words from you like "honestly honey, she's turning me on when she does that", you know her best, you be the judge, but should you decide to say that, assure her of your undying love for her (wife) and how disturbed you are by the presence of this unwanted interference and distraction.
2007-09-07 20:37:19 · answer #1 · answered by rathrhadit 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her body may be maturing but she is still a child. Keep telling yourself that. Also, she maybe should be clued into the fact that she is not dressing appropriately. There are probably other men who are looking at her the same way. Many girls that age are not savvy about how to dress well. You could mention to your wife that you think she is dressing too sexy for her age. Your wife could say something to her about it, or mention it to her mom. It would be in her best interest if some one dealt with it. Lots of girls dress that way and do not have a clue that they are attracting the wrong attention. Also, how would you feel about an older man looking at your own 13 yr. old daughter and having those feelings about her? Ick.
2007-09-08 10:08:27 · answer #2 · answered by I39 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need psychological counseling because we are talking about a 14 year old who is oblivious to how sexy she looks She is just being a tween And if you have feelings for a tween who is your cousins You have issues Your actions make you sound like a petafile Seek help immediately and do your cousins a favor stay away from her and keep her away from you your thoughts are inapropriate You may be a pedafile and do not know it An adult who is attracted to tweens girls and boys Get help Were you sexually molested as a child
2007-09-08 05:39:15 · answer #3 · answered by chameleon 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen, how would you feel if you were to read the same about a family member you should be able to trust with your children describing how he feels about one of your child???
This is a child.
She is supposed to be safe with you.
If you are feeling like that around her, you have no business going swimming with her.
What if you were to make a move on her and she shouted rape?
How would you feel about the look of disbelief and disgust from your wife and children and the family of that kid?
It's very simple, you're the adult and SHE'S A CHILD.
Surely you don't see yourself as a PEDOPHILE do you?
2007-09-08 03:46:38 · answer #4 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Geezee... Are you even sane?? I mean you're married dammit. And agreed temptations DO tend to surface even when you're married but they should be under control. Face it man you're riskin ur marriage by even thinkin of gettin close with that cousin. And she's just 14. **** u need to be ashamed of urself.
Start thinking straight mate. Sorry for being rude but i guess that's the only way to save ur marriage.
For questions about your problems in your relationships, advice or just plain "steam let-off". The 'Doc as he calls himself in this website (blog rather) claims he can give sincere advice. the link is given below. He calls himself the relationship doctor. You can also email him your queries I guess.
I think its worth a look-see. Won't do no harm.
Cheers!!
2007-09-08 03:04:00 · answer #5 · answered by AYOOZe 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think you should talk to someone about it before it gets out of hand!!
when she bends over wearing a low cut shirt tell her politely to adjust her top like "um, your shirt is very revealing and I think its a little inappropriate. you might want to pull it up a little bit?"
you could also talk to your wife about it (not that you think sexually about it but that you think its inappropriate for a girl her age) and if your wife agrees then she can have a woman to woman talk with her cousin.
also you can use some of your thoughts to spice up your sex life with your wife.
whatever you do you MUST not act on any of these thoughts!!!!!!!
good luck!
2007-09-08 03:04:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
remember this you are an adult and you had best treat her like a child if you harm this girl you will be the rest of your life in jail and then if you do you will deserve it what is wrong with you this is a kid. you need help go get it now before you are labeled. take care.
2007-09-12 00:36:30 · answer #7 · answered by Tsunami 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How about this...think about your cell mate BUBBA after you are put into prison for stautory rape and trying to avoid dropping the soap in the communal showers. Guys like Bubba really enjoy pervs who prey on children.
2007-09-08 03:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
At some point in your life you will find a more tempting offer but don't (for the love of your family) be swayed, look but do NOT touch!
2007-09-08 03:24:10 · answer #9 · answered by Roland 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
respect is very important. if you really love her like your daughter, and you are close with each other you can tell her NOT TO WEAR THAT KIND OF CLOTHED. KEEP ALWAYS FROM TEMPTATION. learn to love her as your daughter.
always remember:
temptations is not on the surrounding its...........
on the person itself.
i know you can handle it
2007-09-08 03:19:20 · answer #10 · answered by al j 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋