I'm going insane from the grief?

Question

I can't handle this pain. I'm so weak when it comes to death, and I am sinking so far into depression that I can't see any light. I don't want to be around anyone. I don't want to eat or sleep. I don't want anything or anybody. I just want to keep crying, even though I want to stop. My heart feels like it's been ripped out. And I also keep thinking one day I will lose my mother and I will be worse off. I've had thoughts of killing myself to end the pain of dad dying, but I've stopped myself by remembering my children need me and that it's against my religion. Those are the only things keeping me alive. How can I stop feeling so much pain? I buried my father today, he's in the cold ground. I can't stop thinking about him being all alone and in the ground. Any advice?

Answer 1

Assalam Alikum w/r w/b

The whole Yahoo Answers community saddened the the death of your father. we can all understand your pain. I will inshallah do dua for you, because i can understand what you are going through. Honestly, you need to talk a psychiatrist. preferable a muslim one (but those are hard to find)

The only way to overcome this is to become closer to Allah (swt) You should not spend your time weeping, but instead reading hadiths and the Quran. Prophet Muhammed also lost his sons .. so i reccommend reading about those incidents in his life..

Please please please, sumbit this question of yours to www.sunnipath.com -- they will give u a professional answer...

I will continue to do dua for you sister, for your well-being.... Also remember, death is an incident that can either make you CLOSER to Allah (swt) or FARTHER.... yo have to make the decision

If i remember any more advice, i'll edit this post..

May Allah (swt) give us the strength to overcome tragedies like this in our lives, and make us close to him

Allah Hafiz

Answer 2

You can't stop the pain.

You just buried him today....just today. Of course you're upset. Of course you feel totally drained. No one can do a certain thing to stop the emotional pain they are having but you can do something. You need to remind yourself you won't always feel this way.

Try and remember other times you've been upset. They do pass. This is something every single human being goes through. This may be your first real experience with someone so close to you...but by the time you die you will be a professional griever. It does get better over time. So don't get too anxious about how you're feeling right now. I hear you...it hurts...yes, it does. Get the support you need...voice your thoughts and feelings. Go ahead and let it out. Those are the things that will help you. And when you have a break, take that time and see it as a gift. Everyone has a process of grieving and most people feel this depressed. They do come out of it, however...

You should pray. Remember one day that you will see your beloved father again...and he is rejoicing right now with those he loves that have passed! It's just a temporary goodbye. I truly believe that.

Answer 3

i'm not sure what to say that will give you comfort, but know that if i had the words, i would give them to you.
your pain is going to be raw and present for awhile. but like all wounds, it will start to heal in time.
you should not worry about your mother's passing. it is the natural order of the world. parents are meant to pass before their children.
your father's body is in the ground, nothing more. his spirit has moved on and is still with you. the spirit is much more important than this mortal body. his spirit is not buried. his spirit is not alone.
this is just a suggestion, but spend the next week as alone as you can be and cry as much as you want to. at the end of the week, seek out a close friend or your religious leaders and talk to them about your grief. find someone whose shoulder you can cry on. let it all out with them, your emotions and your concerns about your father after his death. listen to what they have to say and then take a day or two to process what they said. see if it gives you any comfort. if you are still feeling exactly the same or worse, seek out your clergy or family doctor so that they can recommend a good, relieable counselor. there is no shame in admitting that you cannot handle your grief.
i hope you begin to heal.

Answer 4

Well, it is natural to grieve when someone so close to you has died. But like you said, the best thing to do is to focus on your children and family - they need you, and the world will be no better off if you killed yourself. Why don't you spend some time with your mother, helping one another grieve? Maybe she has similar feelings right now. Being together will help you remember how important your family is to you, and you to them.
If you are religious, I bet you believe in an afterlife. In that case, your father wouldn't be gone permanently, he would be in a better place and you will see him again someday. Your father is not buried alone in the ground, that is just his body.
If you are seriously depressed and don't improve over the next few weeks, it would benefit you to see a counselor too I think so you can discuss the problems you are undergoing with someone who can help you through it.

Answer 5

yes in a way. The desire for a person to live can be strongly related to love. There have been stories and accounts of people who by all means should die but hang on until a certain loved one comes to see them. Also statistically women do better and live longer after losing a significant other then men. It is because women are more open about their feelings while men are not. What does all this mean? Its been proven that people can die from a broken heart or lack of reason to live. I would recommend talking to a therapist. You can get through this and if you do you will be a stronger person in the end.

Answer 6

I do but you may not like it. I also promise that you can have total relief within 5 minutes. It really doesn't take much.

Regardless of what the world says, Jesus really is the way. He has been the doorway to God, since the day He was born.

You want this to all go away? You want relief? You want to know where you're tomorrows will lead you? You want peace that passes all understanding? You want joy in your heart?

I can personally guarantee these things. I am an advocate of Jesus and have all authority to speak in His name. I can make such promises, in His name.

Throw down all you know about life. Fall on your face before the One true savior, Jesus. Tell Him you need Him. Ask Him to forgive you and to come into your heart.

I guarantee you won't last 10 seconds before you break before the Lord and all your tears will be spent, right there and done forever. When you again, come to your senses and stand up, you will be a new man.

A great hunger for knowledge will begin. You will find and devour a Holy Bible and want to learn more than you can be fed fast enough. You will seek out Christians who will help you to understand who you are in Jesus.

Along the way, the tears will be forgotten. You will look back and wonder exactly when it happened, and not be able to answer. Your stride will become strong and excited.

If your family does not know God, then they will think you crazy but will not be able to ward off the feelings of wanting what you have found. They will follow.

Shirk off the ropes that hold you. Step into freedom

Answer 7

I lost my father a couple of month ago and I can tell you that I just wanted to find a rock and crawl under it. He would call me every Sunday and we would talk for hours. We did not live in the same state but he was going to move down here with my family this year. I have no one left on my dad's side but my uncle and even my brother has died. Last month I was finally able to get his apartment emptied out and I did ok with that but yesterday while going through his clothes I was an emotional wreck because I could smell him on his clothes. I just have to keep reminding myself that Daddy would be so mad at me for being so depressed and he would want me to go on, be happy and take good care of his grand-daughters and his son-in-law. You will need to grieve and there is, in my opinion, no time limit on that. Just take it one day at a time and I am so very sorry for your lose.

Answer 8

I too have gone through what you are going through. I lost a fiance, my mother, and my sister all in one year. I thought I would go insane. And you have your deliverance already at hand. Your children need you. And you will be amazed at how that will keep you going. I had two small children at the time all of this happened to me... and there were many many days that they were the ONLY thing that kept me going.

Grief is a process... you are going to live through it... but it is something that it really really really helps to talk to someone about. Accept the love and help from others... and go ahead and grieve. But keep in mind that your children are watching how you handle this sadness. THEY are sad too... and it scares them to see mommy like this... you will have many many days that you will get up and move forward JUST for them....

It has been 13 years since my "hell" year (as I have come to call it) and I still cry sometimes... but time and friends and God ... and mostly my children... saw me through the grief.... hold on to that promise... I know you will hear, "it takes time..." and you want to slap the next person that tells you that... but it is true...

Something that helped me tremendously was to journal what I was feeling - and to write down all the good memories of my loved ones I had lost... and to know that they would want me to continue living my life and giving the best to my children.... and I have honored their memory by moving forward and being a good mom to my kids.

My prayers are with you.

Answer 9

As salaamu 'alaikym wa rahmatullahi wabaraktuh, my sister and my friend.

I am very sorry for your loss and I can understand and relate to your grief. Such toches all and each at one time or antoher in their individual lives.

I pray that Allah, Subhanna wa Ta'ala, will be your consolation, your comfort and your strength.

However, I must also ask you where is your faith and what have you learend from the life of the Prophet Muhammad (peace be uopn him, his family and his followers) regarding the loss of a loved one and the realization that everyone will taste death as we have been told and taught in and by the Holy Qur'an?

Speak with your imam and possibly, seek professional help as soon as possible as if what you have expressed here is correct, you not only pose a serious threat to your self and to others, you have also found out that you may not believe what you have professed to believe.
It is time to take a serious, objective look at yourself.

Ma'a salaam.

Answer 10

I`m sorry that you lost your Dad.It`s natural to feel pain and deep sadness for someone you love.To say it will get better in time right now is something I don`t think you want to hear,but it will get better.I`ve lost both parents when I was in my early twenties.They were all I had.And I missed them and I also was scared that They were gone and I had no one.But with work and good friends I finally found someone to love and have a family.The pain that I felt got better but you won`t ever forget them They`re with you in your heart forever.Sometimes I feel sad thinking about them but life goes on and there is family members to give that love to and one day they too will miss you as your time will come to depart this world also.Be strong and keep the faith and hold on to those that are still with you.

Answer 11

wow...well i have went through the same thing...and now looking back at it, i've learned from it-but also seen that it was a waste of time. it's time to celebrate the life your dad lived. you are breaking now, but this experience is going to prepare you for the next. i've lost a lot of close friends....reality is what it is. death is already determined. just remember, God's not going to throw something at you that you can't handle. He knows you the best. instead of worrying, get up, and start spending as much time as possible with your mom and loved ones. i'm sure right now they feel they :lost: you in away too. your mom needs you now as well. be there for e.o. grief will take time, but do it togethe. it's time to appreciate life. pain's gonna come. .but it's part of life is about..and why we are only human.