What do I do if my sister won't talk to me?

Question

I'm so lonely. I'm a freshman in college across the country from where my family is. My sister, who used to be my best friend, won't talk to me on the phone, but right now I need her so much.

I live in a triple, and my two roommates click with each other, but not so much with me. I don't want to go to parties because I don't drink and I have a lot of social anxiety. I just feel very lonely and depressed all the time. I began looking for Sufjan Stevens tickets in my college's city, to lure my sister, but then I cried when I found out that he wasn't playing in Oct. this year, but that he played in Oct. last year. I felt stupid thinking I could bribe her, but I miss her so much. I'm worried about her too. She got her GED (she's 16) because she was having lots of problems. She's brilliant too, and she wants to go to college, but she doesn't think she can get in. I don't know if she's jealous of me, because I'm in college and that I'm going to where she would like to have gone.

I ask my parents to talk to her, but they're afraid or they won't. She gets very upset.

I felt like, even though I'm the one that left, that she left me a long time ago, years ago.

Answer 1

Your Sister:
Write her letters. Tell her about what's going on with you. Tell her how you feel about her. Tell her that you need her. Tell her that you love her, that you are proud of her and that you know that she will be able to go to college. She can too. There is always a way. Probably the easiest way for her to start is with her local community college. Once she has established a good record there it will be easier for her to transfer to a four year college.

Your loneliness and depression:
It can be very hard being a freshman. I remember having those feelings of isolation and loneliness when I was a freshman and I went to college only 40 miles from home. Check to see if there are any mixers or parties that don't include drinking. Do stay away from the drinking. That would be very dangerous in a lot of ways. See if there is a club or organization you can participate in. There are lots of them on college campuses. There you can meet some people with common interests or working together on common projects. You will get better. You will get less lonely and your social anxiety will decline too. Consider seeing a school counselor or therapist if your feelings of loneliness are interfering with your school work or your emotional well-being. Good luck!

Answer 2

Wow, sounds complex. Well, if she won't take your calls, why not write her a nice letter explaining how you feel, see if you accidentally did something to make her feel alienated, then just go into how college life is, share a little of how bad and lonely you feel, but then try to find the positive aspects of college life. Don't be afraid to tell her how much you miss her and that you feel a part of you is missing. You say she's having some problems, well maybe her problems are all she can handle right now. Maybe she misses so much that she can't handle it herself. If you don't get a response after awhile, and if you can talk to your parents and see if they can't talk to her. But that's tricky. Or try sending her another letter first. But no email!! Take the time to write a letter, maybe find a nice card to send along also. Good luck.

Answer 3

aww thats soo sweet, i know what u mean i have 8 siblings and i only live with 2 the rest are in college or are married in different places, but we cant go on more than a week without talking 2 eachother, i have a sister who lives on the same island and we see eachother twice a week and talk online n on the phone EVERYDAY, i dont think either of us can live without the other, well its kina weird about ur sister, and i think she is jealous, or she might be going through 2 much 2 handle and might feel that she doesnt want 2 put that pressure on u , i know i am like that. when im angry frustarted or stressed i dont really talk 2 my siblings cuz i dont want add any pressure 2 their lives. what i think u should do is try reaaally hard 2 get hold of her and send her a card funny and sweet and explain all that u said in the message board, about u having complications and that u need her n that ur there for her. well i reaally hope things get better between u guys ..best of luck! (u guys are in my prayer ;) )

Answer 4

Hi, I'm just like you except the fact that I'm not a freshman in college I'm a sophmore and I don't go to a University I attend a junior college. I dwell a lot in the past and for three entire years I messed up my life because I didn't do good in high school and I didn't have any friends except for one who was injured during my senior year in high school so really I didn't have any friends because I transferred high school during my sophmore year. But anywho I as well have only one sister and she doesn't talk to me or hang out with me and she is one of those girls that can not be happy without a boyfriend in her life and I'm sorry to brag but my life is probably sounds way much worse compared to yours but I wasn't allowed to walk in my high school graduation and I didn't get accepted to any universities and I still don't have any friends and I'm stiil going to school and everybody sees me as this happy sociable person, but in reality I have no friends and no sister who cares and I've never met my father and I was raised by my ill single mother. So I've had it rough and I don't go out and drink and party and I never lived that dorm or sorority life that I wish I did. But life is not fair and if your sister does not want to respond to you don't worry about it because their are other people in life that you will meet who will be your sister and even more your friend and a shoulder you can cry on, you know how I know because I went through it and I know people who have been there for me than my own blood sister. I have no family so I make my own family by being involved in life and not giving a f *** what people think because they have no damn idea about my life and the struggle I grew up with.

Answer 5

irsa, It could be some jealousy. After all, she quit high school, and you are in college. Ouch! Try writing a letter to her. Just say you miss talking to her, don't mention the difference between you, or ask why she won't talk to you. Don't give up if she won't write back or talk to you on the phone. You are "living the dream" while she is not. It's hard for her to see that. Just send her love, and be very patient.

Answer 6

You sound exactly like me except I never got into college. It sounds like distance has taken its toll on your relationship with your sister. I know this by experience....I live 2,000 miles from my little sister...who also used to be my best friend. Now I feel like I dont know her at all. Ask her if she would like to come and visit you and ask her to stay at your place for however long she is in town. You need to see her and just talking on the phone isnt enough. Repair your relationship before it is too late!

Answer 7

I think she has problems that have nothing to do with you. maybe she is bipolar and that is why she withdraws and did not complete high school and go on to college. She is still very young. Can you talk to your parents and express your concern? If not nothing for you to do. She is a minor and under their control for now.

Answer 8

I tend to give my older sister the cold shoulder because I feel she jettisoned out of my life once she was old enough. Make sure you haven't given that impression.

Answer 9

find out why she doesnt talk to you anymore... tell her that you miss her... and that right now you're going through a really tough time and you would love her to be by your side so you can get through this... stuff like that... make her feel needed, important...

Answer 10

As far as friends go, Try to get invovled in some clubs, take to people say Hi to people. You will meet some people.