I just want to be happy, i am a christian raised in a baptist church and i know all the "answers" but that does not seem to help, i am 22 and i have only had one real girlfriend 2 years ago, i want to date someone i ask but never a date, i am lonley and want to be married, i just want life to begin. i love god but i dont seem to be able to get close to him, i still feel empty and lost. i have a great job and i thank God for it but i also still feel like a looser..... What is wrong with me??? i have always thought about suicide but have never wanted to act on it. but why do i have those thoughts all the time? i can't give the devil the victory!!!! i know i am a child of the king!!!! please help.
2007-09-07 16:39:51 · 14 answers · asked by Teddy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Teddy,
I know the feeling well, because I've been in the same place.
I know it is hackneyed advise, but be patient, the right girl will come along. And you will have a better chance meeting her in church than in a bar.
Involve yourself in your work, and in your church. And if the Baptist Church does not seem to be meeting your needs, try another denomination. I'd suggest the Methodist Church and the Episcopal Church, but I might be a bit biased there.
Joining a social group would also be a good idea. Lots of cities have social groups for young adults, investigate one of these groups. You might find the right girl waiting for a guy just like you. And if you don't you can meet lots of people with similar interests, and have some fun.
Cultivate friendships with people of both sexes. Sometimes friendship blooms into love. And try not to be desperate. You are still young and establishing yourself in your career. Being a proven provider won't hurt your chances with a potential mate. Acting like you are desperate will be a turn-off, so try to avoid it.
I can understand the suicidal thoughts as well. I've spent long nights staring down the barrel of a gun trying to work up the nerve to pull the trigger. It is hard to function when the black dogs of depression have you by the throat. If you can't shake the thoughts of suicide, you would do well to talk to a good counselor. Unfortunately you will probably have to try several before you find a good one.
Just know one thing above all. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH YOU!
Everyone goes through periods like this. The right woman will come along if you are patient. And don't look at every date as a possible marriage partner, you will scare the girls off faster that way than if you acted like a real jerk. Put it all in God's hands and things will work out better than you can do it for yourself.
Good Luck and God Bless you.
Doc Hudson
2007-09-07 17:01:13 · answer #1 · answered by Doc Hudson 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you haven't offed yourself 'til now you probably won't so let's get to fixing the problem.
First, if you are feeling like you are a loser then that is what women are picking up on and it is NOT attractive.
Tomorrow, clean yourself up until you look as good as you can. If you want to attract women, look in women's magazines to see what the men in there look like. Work to emulate that look, but make it your own. Don't be fake cause they will sense that too, but be the best you you can.
Go to the mall and walk around looking every women regardless of age in the eye and holding her gaze. You don't have to talk to them unless they talk to you. Not stalker like, just friendly and indifferent. When you can do that convincingly, try going up to the prettiest girl you can find and ask her if she has the time. Practice this until it's easy. You will feel different after these three tasks. I guarantee it. Who knows you might even have a conversation or two. Until you change the way you feel about yourself you will never get a woman to respect you enough to marry you.
Good Luck.
2007-09-07 16:58:49 · answer #2 · answered by amistere4u 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok first of all, no offense don't talk like a dumb person.
I mean when you talk about Commite Suicide, which is the biggiest sin ever in all the Holy books in different religion.
so take that out of your mind!
second thought! you are only 22, it's still early don't worry about anything, if you are in college, go for your education. because as a matter of fact education is what makes you close to god almighty!( the creator of whole thing and the one and only)
So take it easy buddy! You will find someone, try to talk with peopl and start dating!
2007-09-07 16:50:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your an emo. No offense meant.
Anyway, not having a girlfriend isn't that big of a deal, you'll live. Now about the thoughts of suicide, just stop thinking about them and spend more time with your friends. I've thought about it before, but the more time you spend with your friends you'll stop thinking of suicide.
2007-09-07 16:50:24 · answer #4 · answered by Jake 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hey, you are never a failure unless you never try... And keep hope, life throws you obstcules to make you stronger. You just need to learn to hold on and to believe in yourself. And if you want, you can email me and talk to me, I would like to help if you want to tell me what you feel like you are a failure in and what is getting to you... My email is on my profile(Click my pic) I hope you will at least keep from suicide, because it wouldn't be worth it, and it wqould hurt the people that you truely love and that love you.
2007-09-07 17:00:39 · answer #5 · answered by Kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand, I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm lonely and I've never had a boyfriend. BUT...
Geez...Do you think Gods going to get you a girlfriend? Don't you think if there really is a God, it has more important things to do? You just have to get yourself out there. I know it's easier said than done. I know it's hard especially when you are shy and the opposite gender seems to hate you. But let me be honest with you, you decide your life, God does not play Cupid.
2007-09-07 16:47:36 · answer #6 · answered by Laughing all the way 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
oh its very unhappy what she did to you. yet undergo in recommendations continuously you shld save your expert and private existence distinctive. in case you act lyk a newborn indignant at her,have faith me she ll appreciate hurting you greater. communicate wid her in workplace commonly lyk different colleagues yet thoroughly lyk a stranger outdoors as though she isn't something to you.. Its not undemanding i be attentive to yet dnt run away. i think tht in this planet earth god has deliver all and sundry wid one desirable considerable different. And once you ll meet your woman love,you will jst take a deep breathe and thank god tht this exceeded off. seems such as you're very solid individual and likely i will assure you god could desire to have stored smeone who's top for you:). each and every of the final:):). Take care...
2016-10-18 07:14:44 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just get involved with a lot of things so you can find someone who has things in common with you. It will happen, and seriously, 22 is pretty young for marriage anyways, don't rush things.
2007-09-07 16:47:38 · answer #8 · answered by Kd 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God gave you a heart. Would have been nice if it came with manual, But you cant give up.Love is in your heart and there is someone out there to share it with.
2007-09-07 16:52:21 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
this will pass. dont give up!
and dont commit suicide!! u will find a girl. this is just a slump for u right now and it will pass
i am in one too so i know how i feel, but i have hope that this will soon end...
2007-09-07 16:45:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋