My 5yr old told me today that he doesn't like his heart and that he doesn't feel special. He does have a new baby sister ( 18mths ) and we try to spend as much quality time together as a family, but this nearly killed me to hear this, has anyone else experienced this ? I need help with the type of questions I can ask, to have him explain what's going on in his head ( or heart ). He doesn't like to play much on his own and it's difficult for me to keep him occupied sometimes. Any thoughts?
2007-09-07 16:38:36 · 6 answers · asked by dishjunkey 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
5 year olds can get depressed. Sounds like a trip to the pediatrician is in order, sooner rather than later.
Sometimes children just need help getting through different phases. A few months of therapy or medication, may do the trick.
We had a child die a few years back. It was devastating for my then 3 year old. A few months on an anti depressant and we saw a world of difference. Once she learned how to calm herself and work through her feelings she bounced back in no time. After 3 month on medication we were able to wean her off and she has been fantastic ever since.
Good luck!!
2007-09-07 16:50:37 · answer #1 · answered by it's me 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he is still reeling from the new addition to the family. In addition to spending time as a family, he may need some special "mommy and me" and "daddy and me" time. Make this time to have fun and talk without the baby, maybe even treat him to something the baby can't do yet to emphasize his special place as big brother. Yes 5 year olds can get depressed, but don't be to quick to run to the doctors. They usually will just put them on some mind-altering drug instead of counseling and the effects of those can last his entire life. Kids have a remarkable ability to bounce back, even after horrible things have happened, when they have love and support.
2007-09-07 23:48:19 · answer #2 · answered by sbyldy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask him why he doesn't feel special and why he doesn't like his heart. Kids of that age will usually tell you what is on their mind, if you ask. Talk in a nice quiet environment, and listen. He most likely is having a little trouble getting used to his new sister, and if you make sure you are letting him tell you what is on his mind, you will be settin a good ground for communication. Once you find out what is bothering him, then find a way to act on it, so that he knows you care. Of course you don't have to immediately shower him with all kinds of undue attention, but you might need to look things over and decide what needs to be changed, and what can stay the same. If you need to spend a little time with, just your son, then do so. This is sometimes overlooked when you have the added responsibility of the second (or even third) child. We often intend to do things like spend time with each one, separately, but then it just gets so busy. When he was the only child, he probably had lots of attention from you and his dad. Take some time to read a special book, with just you and him. Go to a park with him, or go and watch trucks working on a construction site, and talk all about it. If you need to, get a babysitter to watch your daughter, so that you can do these things. Help him with a special project, or play a game with him. Remind him, when he does something well, or helps with something around the house, or when he helps you with his sister. If he is in Kindergarten, then you could make sure to look at all his papers when he comes home from school and ask about his day. If his sister is interfering, then maybe you need to find a way to occupy her. You also need to help him find friends to play with. Let them come over, and let him go to their houses. Make sure your house is open to his friends. I noticed that bedtime was a very good time to not only read to my kids, but go over flash cards for learning letter sounds, etc. This is definitely something that his sister cannot do, and it would be very valuable for his educational progress. If he doesn't like to play much on his own, try to find out what other types of things he likes to do. Maybe he has some sort of special interset that you have not even noticed, due to being busy with a baby/toddler. Make sure he has a space of his own. And, now that it is autumn, this would be a great time for: cider mill visits, pony rides, petting farm visits, haunted house or mazes, and apple picking. Remind him of what he can do that babies can't (in a nice way) and compliment him on it. Perhaps he is of a higher intelligence level than you may have surmised. Always make sure he can talk to you, as children usually have a lot of things going on in their minds, than we often give them credit for, especially the intelligent ones.
2007-09-08 01:04:01 · answer #3 · answered by PR 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he was feeling lonely. When you daughter will grow up, they will be able to play together. I am a single child and I did feel bored sometimes. Just ask him directly what is on his mind. They want alot of affections and love. Tell him "mommy loves you! So tell me what is wrong! I will always love and mommy will help you. Tell the truth to mommy" I never had any children but my mom used to talk to me like this. Maybe you can send him to a daycare so he can have friends or let him play with other kids in your neighborhood.
2007-09-07 23:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by LadyXSakura 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes talk to a doctor children can be depressed. Be loving and supoortive and do whatever you need to do to make your children happy. It may ttake some time and don't let people tell you what to do with your kids. If you feel they need help get it for them Parents were not given all the answers to life problems when we gave birth.
2007-09-07 23:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by deb b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Talk to his pediatrician.
2007-09-07 23:45:56 · answer #6 · answered by janicajayne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋