my 9 yo and 5 yo are the laziest children on the planet and between that and their back talking, my DH and I just can't take it anymore. I've seen kids on tv who do chores without being told and seem to respect their parents and their belongings. My kids just don't. We yell, discipline (take away their favorite things) and nothing seems to work. We are so frustrated and I am looking for some sort of book or program to help us turn their attitudes around. Any suggestions?
2007-09-07 15:46:54 · 17 answers · asked by nichole m 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
I would say spank them, but no one believes in that anymore....
2007-09-07 15:53:23 · answer #1 · answered by ~Kayla S~ 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Babygurl has a really good suggestion. I am personally not opposed to spanking. My kids get spanked. I also believe that they need to be taught respect when they are toddlers. I would suggest the books by "Supernanny" or "Nanny 911". They work wonders with problem children. Supernanny airs every week on television. Mondays on ABC. I haven't seen anything on Nanny 911 recently. I watch Supernanny as often as possible. My seven yr. old daughter watches it with me sometimes. We point out the bad things about the childrens behavior and how everyone sees it as a problem. Then we watch their transactions and talk about how the parents aren't yelling at them like they were. And how happy the family is. I can tell it is very inspiring to her. Anyway, hang in there and check out the show and you can find the books online. You can go to www.supernanny.com . There are tips for parenting there. You can also find info about the show on abc.com.
2007-09-08 06:36:34 · answer #2 · answered by Angela D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I even do this with my 3 year old and its working like a charm. When you go somewhere on the weekends, don't buy them anything, make them use their own money. How do they get their own money? Make a chore chart for each one, clean room, take out trash, put away clothes, etc. On my sons i always add BE GOOD!. I put a sticker on his block when he's done the chore you could do that or a simple check mark. First you and you DH decide how much allowance is acceptable, i do a dollar a year, my 3 year old gets 3 dollars. Figure out how much each chore is "worth", for example my son has 4 chores to do, clean his room, pick up dirty clothes in his room and his bathroom, pick up any trash he sees, and to be good. Since he gets 3 dollars if its all done, that's roughly 10cents a chore, 4 chores a day 7 days a week. So for each sticker he doesn't have on his chart by the end of the week he gets 10 cents took away from his 3 dollars. He loves when he gets his full three dollars so he can go buy something. This also teaches them to manage money at a younger age. After a while they will get tired of not getting a piece of candy or a new toy, adn decide to help some even if it isn't all, after a while they'll figure it out it doesn't take much effort to behave and doesn't take long to do a few chores, the reward is great at the end. Good Luck
2007-09-07 16:01:24 · answer #3 · answered by babygurl 3 · 4⤊ 1⤋
TV is just entertainment, not real life. Perfect kids, as well as perfect parents, are something we may dream about as much as we dream about winning the lotterey. Nice thought while it lasts but sooner or later one has to get back to reality.
Sit down and talk to them that life is changing from now on. Tell them it will be 1,2 and 3 from now on.
1. Be warned what you is doing is wrong and the reason why.
2. Second warning, your attitude need to change now otherwise you WILL be spanked. Time out depending on their age. I don't bother with that now they are older.
3. Third time spank as required.
With four teens I reach number 1 countless times daily, number 2 quite a few times a week and number 3 maybe once a month depending on the child and the phases they are going through.
Worked well on me. Yes, I did reach number 3 more times that I would have liked but on average I knew to stop when my folks gave me the number 2.
Give the books and programs a miss, save your money and invest it in a good quality wooden spoon.
2007-09-07 16:32:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
i wouldn't keep yelling - that can help set the scene for more back-talking
have sanctions - punishments that fit the crime so that it gets to 'OK you know what you did and this is what the consequence is'
be consistent - and make sure that both parents act by the same rules do they don't do a divide and conquer thing with you
also reward them for GOOD behaviour so they don't get to feel that whenever you talk to them it is always a negative thing - with time that good behaviour can outstrip the bad. if one child is doing what you want and the other one isn't but is just watching TV or something then focus on the child who IS doing good - reward them with positive attention
the kids on TV who do things without being told (apparently) is a result of a steady routine where each person understands what is expected of them and just is able to get on with the task in hand - your kids arent at that level yet but that isn't to say they never will be
2007-09-07 18:31:20 · answer #5 · answered by Aslan 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Stop yelling!!! Take action. Take away everything in their room except for a blanket and a pillow. Make them earn back everything. For example, if they go a day without back talking..they earn one thing for their bedroom. If they want to be disrespectful to you, then show them you will NOT tolerate it anymore!! Be consistent, (although it can be very tiring)...follow through with what you say you are going to do. If they mouth off 100 times then it is a 1000 times you discipline them. JUST BE CONSISTENT!!!
2007-09-09 10:11:05 · answer #6 · answered by Miss Behavin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Taking things away from children is not discipline. The message you are giving them is that they can have anything they want without having to earn it...that's not discipline. Things should be regarded as priveliges and kids need to earn them rather than having them handed them to them because they want them. That includes television time, video game time, computer time etc. There should be no television or computer in their bedrooms time with these electronics should be supervised. YOU created their attitudes to begin with so stop blaming them.
2007-09-08 12:21:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good behavior starts long before the ages of 9 and 5. Get them back now but don't blame them, this is the result of bad parenting. Make some house rules. Set limitations. Have rewards. It's really not as hard as it sounds. Good luck :)
2007-09-07 16:22:42 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
and the answer is.....a good ole spanking! yes you are the parents and have to take charge or else they will embarrass you in public as if you are the children and they are the adults, unfortunately they have been getting away with it for 9 and 5 yrs, but they still have time to get disciplined, they are not gonna like it, of course, because they think it's the way they are suppose to be, but you gotta do what you gotta do and take your place as the adults and make them take their place as children, if they don't respect their parents they won't respect anyone else...it starts at home
2007-09-07 16:32:38 · answer #9 · answered by mskash 3 · 4⤊ 0⤋
properly purely the indisputable fact that those babies at those a while are allowed to easily ask your self around and bypass into peoples properties says some thing approximately their father and mom potential to look after them! they don't seem to be risk-free!! i could certainly call CPS on those human beings. i understand which you have no know-how of abuse yet you have info of forget. they are for sure being negligent and could care much less approximately the place there 4 and a pair of year previous are going. it fairly is soooo unhappy. i'm hoping some thing good occurs for them quickly. those detrimental young ones.
2016-10-04 04:35:52 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like two kids who need a spanking.
2007-09-08 00:43:21 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋