My mother-in-law (a lot about her in previous post), called me today as I was getting ready to run out the door. I didn't answer...I walked out the door 5 minutes later and she is walking up my driveway. I was really on my way to go shopping but told her I was going to my parents for dinner so that she couldn't stall. My parents live right down the street so she decided to walk down with me and stay for 45 minutes until my mom invited her to stay for dinner.
I think its rude of her to just stop in after I didn't answer. I obviously didn't answer for a reason. What if I was sleeping? or just didn't want visitors (my house was a mess today)? She has in the past just popped over while we were "occupied" in the bedroom. Why doesn't she get the hint that if I don't answer the phone or the door I don't want visitors.
Weren't her 2 actions today (stopping at my house and over staying her welcome at my parent's) just incredibly rude?
2007-09-07 15:23:35 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Everyone wants to know why we live so close to my parents and in-laws? My in-laws live 10 minutes away....used to be an hour but they moved here to be closer to us...UGH. We live on the same street as my parents cause it just so happened that's how I met my husband, he moved in down the street from them (most affordable rental in town) and when we got married, it was financially the best. My parents NEVER stop by. In the 2 years I have lived here I could probably count the few number of times they have even been to my house.....never uninvited!
2007-09-07 15:46:03 · update #1
Ya speek up 2 her tell her that she needs to get a life and stop walking in on you and call before she comes over and only come when u say u have time for her!
2007-09-07 15:31:28 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes and No. If you only hint at what you want you run the risk of the person not getting the hint. Apparently your mother-in-law has not gotten the hint that you would like her to make prior arrangements before coming over. So I would say a more direct approach is in order. It was rude to lie to her about where you were going. You have a right to decide who comes to your home and when. And you have a responsibility to speak up about what you want. My advice is call your mother-in-law, tell her you enjoy her company but you also have things to do and it would be better if she could call before showing up. That doesn't mean park the car outside the house and call on her cell phone before she walks up to the door. If you don't set up some healthy boundaries for yourself you will spend a lifetime feeling resentment and playing dodge the MIL. Stand up for yourself, be direct and set the standards for visits to your home. It is your right.
2007-09-07 22:35:45 · answer #2 · answered by innerradiancecoaching 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, that was incredibly rude of her.
You need to establish boundaries with your MIL.
First talk to her and try to establish some rules. If she will not respond to a polite conversation, you will probably have to go off on her.
She needs to call FIRST before heading over to your house. You are an adult and have a right to privacy.
Perhaps you can also talk to the FIL to recruit his help.
If she has a copy of your house keys, either take them away from her, or get the locks changed out.
2007-09-07 22:54:12 · answer #3 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's rude to stop by anyone's house unexpected ...period. And now that most everyone has a cell phone there is no excuse for it. But you may want to be a little more patient with the woman since she is your husband's mother.
2007-09-07 22:39:55 · answer #4 · answered by quzieskywalker 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well maybe she doesnt get it so you should pick up the phone and tell her that you dont want visitors and are busy, I think its rude to not answer someones call, i would be embaressed iif i didnt answer the phone walked outside and saw the person calling.
2007-09-07 22:35:47 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your husband to tell her to stop doing these things. Also tell your husband that if he doesn't tell her you will and you won't be as nice about it as he will be. She is sick in the head and the less you have to do with her the better. You need to tell her straight up that she is crazy and that your not putting up with it.
Someone else asked why do you live so close to your in laws and parents? Why do you live so close to them?
2007-09-07 22:41:35 · answer #6 · answered by lakecity21 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Not incredibly rude... if that happened to me, I'd be peeved. If she ever calls again, just tell her how you feel, and explain why its rude. Talk to your husband about it, ask if he can do something about it. Or, if you want some time alone, ask your husband to occupy her. If you want the two of you to be able to be alone, contact some of her friends of your parents to see if they can occupy her.
But it is rude... Hope Ihelped.
2007-09-07 22:37:13 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is your mother-in-law................a part of your family.
Why can't she just stop by. Did she over stay her welcome at your parents, or did you just want her to leave?
I don't think that it is necessary to call before coming over.
My inlaws showed up the evening as I was pulling out of the yard. I stopped, came back to the house, talked for 30 min. until they decided to go. I did not rush them or make them feel that they were not welcomed.
Sounds like you just have a problem with your MIL>
2007-09-07 22:30:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
yes she was ,but you should say to her excuse us we are in the middle of having sex we will call you in a few days.
then next time she comes over just dont answer the door.
2007-09-07 22:47:29 · answer #9 · answered by me m 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes it is. Why do you live that close to your in laws and your parents? Change the locks.
2007-09-07 22:30:01 · answer #10 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋