I DON'T WANT A SISTER!!! How do I get rid of the baby???

Question

My mom never told me she was pregnant. I notice her belly was big but I thought that she was getting fatter. I asked my mom why her belly was so big and she said she didn't know and always change the subject and lie to me. I made it very clear to her that I don't want another sibling, especially a sister. I already have 2 siblings and that's enough for me. I ask her if there is a baby and she said no. So I believed her. Also I didn't think she could get pregnant because she's like 40 years old. I mean, how can anyone have a baby at that age without undergoing some kind of treatment??? Both my mom and dad never said a word to me about the pregnancy and never mentioned it, so I believed that she was just fat. Then a month later I didn't see her for two days. Of course my dad doesn't tell me why she is gone. Then I come home from school and I see her. She tells me to take a look at my baby sister! I was beyond shocked!!! She lied to me and never told me about the pregnancy!!

I DON”T WANT A SISTER!!! It so stupid to have another child at her age especially since the rest of her kids are in college! It’s very expensive to raise a child and we need that money to pay for our tuition. So why on earth would someone have a baby when they already have 3 adult children in college??? I find it so irresponsible! I really hate her now. I would be less upset if that baby was a boy. I’m perfectly content with being the only daughter in the family. But no, it just had to be a girl. I REALLY HATE THAT AND DON’T WANT A SISTER!!!!! And to make matters even more worse, my mom chose a name that closely resembles mine!!!! Only one letter difference! WTF?!? So not only did she lie to me, hid her pregnancy from me, and never mentioned the baby until after giving birth, she chose a name that sounds close to mine!!

I really, really, REALLY don’t want a baby sister! I wish it was a boy instead. I want my mom to get rid of the baby fast. How do I convince her to give it up for adoption? Or to give it away to someone else and never ever see it again. PLEASE HELP! I’m very depressed right now about the baby. I hate it so much I want to just throw it in a dump! It’s nothing but a piece of garbage to me. That might sound harsh to you but it’s true. I don’t want it or have anything to do with it. It will do nothing but make my life worse. I desperately want my mom to get rid of it. PLEASE HELP ME I’M VERY SERIOUS ABOUT THIS. How do I convince her to give it up????

OK I JUST WANT TO REITERATE THAT I DID SUSPECT THAT SHE MIGHT BE PREGNANT BUT WHENEVER I ASKED HER TO CONFIRM THIS BUT SHE DENIES IT!! SO I BELIEVED HER BECAUSE SHE IS MY MOM AND DIDN'T THINK SHE WOULD LIE TO ME. AND SHE DID DO A GOOD JOB COVERING IN UP BY WEARING BAGGY CLOTHES. WHENEVER I SPOKE TO HER ABOUT HER WEIGHT GAIN SHE CHANGES THE SUBJECT SO DIDN'T TALK ABOUT IT ANYMORE.

AND YES EVERYTHING I SAID IS TRUE!

Does anyone know how upset it makes me feel that the baby's name sounds just like mine???????????

Answer 1

Obviously there isn't really anything you can do about this and I'm sorry your parents lied to you about this. What I'm thinking is that they wanted to suprise you or something and they thought you would be happy anyways even though you told them you don't want any more siblings.

Now since you are going to have to live with this kid I have a few suggestions to help you think of this as an advantage to you.

1. You get to show her pictures of your new sister at school, you get to help pick out those cute baby clothes and toys and just basically show her off to everyone! I would be jelous, i've always wanted a baby sibling!

2. This will be a great way to earn some extra cash! I mean think about it...You can suggest you baby sit her while her parents go on a much needed date and off time ( I'm sure they will be willing to pay your fees) And I'm sure you can ask for some money if you change her diaper ect.

3. Having a new sibling in the house will teach you how to share, be flexible with what life throws at you, learn every skill for caring for an infant and later toddler. This will help you as you get older. You will learn to be flexible with your job and people you work with. You can't just say I want to get rid of one of your employees, you have to learn to work with them just like your sister. You will become more resouceful in life and you will be better at baby sitting other children and later your own children!

4. You can also use her as an excuse everynow and then. Like "i didnt do my homework because i've been so tired because my new sister keeps waking up every 2 hours in the night" ect. (I know this isn't a very good suggestion but who knows...)

5. Once she gets older you will have less chores to do around the house. And who knows, after having this new baby for a while your parents might soften up and be easier on you and more layed back because they have more things to do and the baby might get to their soft sides lol.


I know these ideas won't exactly solve your all your problems but maybe it will help you think of this as a new learning experience and that there are some plus sides to having a new baby sister! Good luck and have fun!

Answer 2

I'm so sorry that you are feeling this way especially about an innocent little baby who had nothing to do with being conceived and born.
Your parents didn't have to ask you for permission to have another child any more than a right to lie about it after it was conceived. They may have not planned it in the first place. A lot of parents have unexpected pregnancies. I would have handled it very differently, I suppose. I'm thinking that telling you about it at the very beginning could have probably helped you to adjust to having another sibling and feeling a little more positive about it than you are.
Since the baby is here now and there's nothing you can do about it, you should seriously try to bring yourself to being more loving toward your little sister and make yourself realize that it was not her fault, she's innocent. You can't make her go away as she will forever be your little sister. Your anger toward your parent should never be taken out on her.
If there's a trusting family friend or even a relative who can help you on how to set up some serious sessions with you, your parents and more importantly a professional. Your feelings of hatred toward your little sister can become a serious matter that could land you in prison or a mental institution. You definitely don't want this. If you did something harmful to your little sister that could make your parents hate you.
How will you ever reach your endeavors in school if you're concentrating more on how to get back at your parents for having another child?
You should have two things uppermost in your mind at this point:
1. How to love my little sister
2 How to achieve my highest potential in school

If you can get past these two....you will forget about being angry at your parents concerning this pregnancy.
One other important point, if you are so angry at your parents and think you hate your little sister, though she's an infant, she can sense your feelings. This will agitate her and make her cry more which will agitate you. How can you concentrate when you're agitated?
Just think: love & straight A's. These thoughts will get you through this.

Answer 3

I understand that you're concerned about your parents reacton, but the larger issue here is your sisters future. Your parents need to know. Having an abortion is a huge emotional burdon, and I would imagine doing something to your own body (like you suggested with the pills and liquor) would be worse. Not to mention that is totally dangerous! If your parents are as narrow minded as you claim, maybe you could speak to someone at your church to have them be an intermediary in the discussion. Your sister is the first priorty though, and this issue needs to be addressed now. The best option would be for your sister to go through with the pregnancy then give the baby up for adoption. There are alot of families waiting for a baby to love who are not racist.

Answer 4

I don't think you are a mean person but I do think that you are in shock and you are acting poorly .

Okay, you need to take a deep breathe and think about what you are saying. You want your parents to get rid of their baby because you don't want a sister and want to be the only girl? How selfish can you get? I can not believe you would even think about asking ur parents to put it up for adoption! THAT IS THEIR CHILD AND YOUR BLOOD! Your parents are adults and they do not have to ask your permission to have a baby. Lots of people in their forties have babies. It is not that uncommon and forty is really not that old anymore. What do you mean you made it clear to her that you dont want another sibling? Since when was it YOUR choice?

You must be pretty young so I'll go easy on you not recgonizing the signs of your mom being pregnant, but honey, you need to realize the baby is here to stay. Asking your parents to give up their child just because you want to be the only girl or dont want to deal with another sibling is so selfish. I don't think you are a bad person, I think you are just in shock.

I agree that it was wrong for your parents to lie to you and shock you like that. As for the name thing, its very common for siblings to have similar names. Maybe your parents thought it would be cute or would show how much they love you. Your parents are not going to stop loving you because they have a baby. You are still their daughter and they love you. It's not anyones fault that the baby was a girl and not a boy.

DO NOT HURT THAT BABY! You need to think about what you are doing and what you are saying. Get away for a few days. Maybe stay with a friend or grandparents for a little while. Do not let yourself be alone with that baby. It's not the babies fault and if you hurt it, you will ruin your entire life.

Answer 5

You hate the baby? And you have never met her yet?
I agree... DO NOT HURT THAT BABY.
I really hope your parents notice these signs you are expressing. You can't do anything. It is their choice, and I am sure they would not have had another child if they could not handle it financially.

I think that you are just used to being the only daughter, and doing mother-daughter things with Mom. You really need to get over that, using therapy or whatever. My mother was raised with two other sisters. And once all three girls reached your age, guess what? Another daughter. Did they hate their sister? No.

And think about this, too: maybe your mother loves you so much, she named your little sister after you.

Maybe it wasn't right of your mother to lie... maybe your mother did not want to get your hopes up if she said she was pregnant and she wasn't. Obviously, you would rather she wasn't pregnant, but seriously, it it your parents life and their choice, not yours.

You need to talk to your parents about this. They need to know how you feel.

And, as other users said: seek professional help for your anger. I agree with tjnstlouismo when she says that you could be waiting an execution if you hurt that baby.

Good luck and God bless,
newsiesno1

Answer 6

Your parents don't love you or your siblings any less because they have a new baby. It's because they love their kids that they decided to go forward with this.
I'm sorry that they lied to you. That is wrong. But, you can't do anything about it. So accept it, don't hurt the baby. They're not going to give it up.
You might want to think about why you don't want this baby around and talk to someone outside the family to figure out why you're so hurt about them bringing another life into your family. If you can't love your sister, you will have serious serious problems later. So change your attitude to deal with the situation the way it is.

Answer 7

You sound very spoiled and selfish. You are an adult. If you don't want to have anything to do with the baby, than move away. Your parents are paying tuition for 3 children. I am sure that they love this child to no end and they are happy. Why not get a life and start thinking of someone else for a change. A baby is a wonderful thing, planned or not. Give her a chance. I love my little sister. I love sharing my wisdom and experience with her. She looks up to me. Yeah, we don't always get along, but that's part of life. Even now that both of us are grown with children of our own, there is still a lot that we learn form each other. Finish your schooling and for God sakes, DO NOT hold this against the poor kid. It's not like she asked to be here.

Answer 8

You have serious issues.
You probably need some mental help or something.
Not trying to be mean or anything...but I do believe that your parents can do whatever they want.
You CAN'T convince them to give the baby away, and if you're planning to do something crazy, just stop right there. You can get into some serious trouble.

Just DEAL with it. If you already have two, you can handle one more!!

Either that, or just move out!! Go to college or something...get a job so you won't have to be around the house!

Answer 9

Your parents didn't handle this the best way - they may have known how you would react. You make this sound as if this is all about you - your wishes, your feelings, "I don't want..."

By the way, a woman can have a baby past 40 without any treatments.

I don't know how old you are - but are you really that naive? Even many overwieght women can look pregnant.

I disagree with how your parents handled this, but you are handling it quite poorly yourself. This is their baby, their decision and you are showing an amazing amount of disrespect.

Answer 10

You are being very selfish! You should seek counseling for your anger. The reason your parents never told you about the pregnancy is because they knew you would react this way. Stop being insecure and selfish. How old are you? What difference is it to you if the baby is a boy or a girl? You sound as if you should be number 1 all the time. You have a lot to learn about life. The world does not revolve around you only. Sorry, but it's the truth.