My mother in law lived with my husband and I for 5 months, she never cleaned, helped with bills, or helped with the kids. I never complained but I always constantly found myself cleaning after her and paying her share. When I finally got fed up I asked my husband to speak with her and she decided she should move in with her own daughter.
I am very close with my husbands sisters so when it was brought to my attention what she had been telling them I was shocked. She had said I lived in filth never cooked and was a neglectful mother. this really hurt me and I want to say something so bad but what? Also now that I just bought a home and am expecting another child she wants to move in again and "help out". I think she is mad because I had her son bring it to her attn about me cleaning up after and cooking for her. Am i wrong to say no and should i bring up her previous comments?? She speaks spanish only I have learned some but would need an interperter.
2007-09-07 14:52:25 · 8 answers · asked by 1glamchick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your husband's sisters, if they are not already aware of it, WILL SOON become aware of her story-telling just like you have.
She is blackmailing you into letting her mooch off of you... she is also probably a "human wedge" trying to get between you and your husband.
Do not allow her to regain entry to your household.
This is about setting boundaries. You need to get your husband on the same page. DO NOT allow her to move in with you again.
You can offer to take her shopping for her own apartment and perhaps even help her move in... but not into your house.
2007-09-07 15:03:27 · answer #1 · answered by revsuzanne 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First tell your husband to tell her that she means a lot to you but want to be a good wife and mother on your own and appreciate her offer of help if when the baby comes she could come and stay but only for 2 weeks till you are able to care for your own home. Maybe she is lonely and really wants to help. No 2 women should share the same house for long or 9 out of 10 times you will wind up divorced. Don't shut her out but give yoour husband a list of do's and don'ts to read to his mom. Stick to them. Let her live with his sister. Don't say anything bad it will only hurt you in the long run. God bless and Good luck.
2007-09-07 15:09:58 · answer #2 · answered by adairangel 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It would be a grave mistake to allow her to move in...Ask your husband to interpret your reasoning to her. Let your MIL know that she had fail to help you in the house when she was living there. Let her know how disappointed you where when she spread lies about you to your sister in law and practically ruin the relationship. You should also tell her you don't want any fiction in the relationship, and you want to be close to her, so explain to her now that you have another mouth to feed there will be more responsibility around house.
This is opportunity for you express the things she had fail and what she had said behind you back. When you address your concern to her be gentle and polite. God bless.
2007-09-07 15:23:16 · answer #3 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh honey... there could only be one queen in a castle. Don't let her move back in. This may just cause tention in your marriage. I lived with my mother-in-law and that didn't work out. In general, it's hard to have another person living with you and your family. Sure it's nice to be able to take care of our parents but sometimes it causes problems in a marriage. Parents have responsibilities to their children and not the other way around. Your priority should be your husband and children. Your husband should understand this. Tell him that you are very grateful for the offer but you would like to take care of your family yourself. Be honest with him. It seems like your husband is your in laws favorite.
2007-09-07 15:31:11 · answer #4 · answered by ods 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would strongly recommend against saying anything to your mother-in-law. It will accomplish nothing. She is who she is, and she is not going to change now. You and your husband, together, must tell her politely that you do not need her to "help out," thank you very much. Always be civil to her -- this way you are the bigger person and will set a good example for your children. But do not allow her to live with you again. Good luck!
2007-09-07 15:09:33 · answer #5 · answered by meatpiemum 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Answer to her moving in again is no. If some one ask you about what she said tell them. She can find her own place. It is not up to you to take care of her. She sounds like trouble to me. You have your own family to think of. Your husband must understand and help you. If you need to get a interpreter and tell her that you need her to find a place to go. Patches.
2007-09-07 15:14:49 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't let her back in your house.....you've got enough on your plate....also, just keep quiet about what you've been told she said, you dont' know for sure if someone else is jealous of you and making those comments up just for spite. Be polite, be gracious, but let hubby know that you would prefer just to be your little family, that you can't handle the stress of MIL living with you again.
2007-09-07 14:58:23 · answer #7 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
in laws living with married children is rough on marriages. They should never do that unless they could not take care of themselves. I am 77 and I would never think of living with any of my children. I love them toomuch for that
2007-09-07 15:03:30 · answer #8 · answered by Bob S 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋