My friend called me up yesterday fuming because her daughter was just caught trying to shoplift from a DVD store and actually spat in the security guard's face when he caught her, and tried to run off. Nevertheless, her daughter is now stocking shelves at the convenience store her mom owns (without pay) and will be doing so for a week.
I'd be angry if she were my daughter, but I think what my friend did was harsh. I would have made her personally apologize instead. What are your thoughts on how it should've been handled?
2007-09-07 13:50:49 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
There is a definite problem here. First stealing, then a total lack of respect for authority. She could have been charged for theft and assault; I am actually not sure why she wasn't.
Law or no law, I would have been risking being charged for assaulting her behind, followed by six months of a grounding so severe she would rather be in jail. Fuming? I would have been steamed to the point of blowing a gasket.
2007-09-08 01:06:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that's wicked lenient. An apology is missing from your story, first of all.
And since the offense included DVD's, that would be the first thing to leave her world in my house - indefinitely. She would not be allowed out without me for a period of time, since she could obviously not be trusted to behave when mommy's not around.
Then we would have to deal with the matter of the disrespect to the security guard. In all reality, she could have been charged with assault and arrested. My philosophy is that an apology is not enough for behavior like that. She would need to actually make it up to the store/officer in some way as well.
Shoplifting is serious enough, but spitting on another human being is foul. Working at mom's store for a week doesn't hardly deal with the problem, in my opinion. I don't see how that would send home a strong enough message to prevent her from doing it again.
2007-09-08 14:16:28 · answer #2 · answered by ~Biz~ 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree with everyone else that it was too lenient a punishment--however, I think she handled it the wrong way.
As a teenager, shoplifting and especially spitting in a security guard's face is a way to show that she can make her own decisions and live her own life. Giving her a strict punishment such as the one mentioned will only want to make her rebel more. The last thing that will help in the situation is not the punishment of shelving, actually, but the fact that she is doing it at her parent's store. This will make her feel like a little kid and more likely to rebel again. Try having her get a real job somewhere else or a volenteer job, so that it will still be a punishment but she won't feel as babyish during the punishment and will probably learn from it better. Also, it will be not just putting in hours, but taking on responsibility. I think that is a better way to handle it.
2007-09-07 14:14:03 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
Harsh? Oh no, no, no, no, no. She got off easy. Her mother could have had the police slap her arrogant little A** in juvie for a few days to put a good scare into her! Stocking shelves for no pay is getting off pretty easy! I hope she is also grounded for a long time and doing extra chores at home to give her little self a long time to think about her actions. Yes, on top of everything else, she should also have to apologize to the store and the guard!!
It's a parent's job to discipline and keep an eye on their kids and bluff and manipulate and put the fear into them, do anything short of physical or mental abuse to keep them on the straight and narrow. While she is stocking shelves at her mom's store it will be a good time for bonding and talking. She's too young to get a job somewhere else and sending her off to volunteer, oh right, "Hi, Suzie, this is me, my mom just dropped me off, can you come pick me up and let's go to the mall." That's one of the things wrong with the youth today, pansy parents!
2007-09-07 15:23:47 · answer #4 · answered by gma 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think she's on the right track. If it were my daughter she'd be stocking shelves for at least a month on top of being grounded for a month with absolutly no priviledges.To be taken off only if a real change has been made. She'd also be saying sorry in person to who she spit on! Kids get away with too much. Her daughter has no respect to be spitting in some ones face. If she doesn't make her see that its wrong to act like that now wait and see her in 5 years. Parents are there to guide their kids in the right direction not turn a blind eye on bad behavior.
2007-09-07 14:10:40 · answer #5 · answered by n.s. 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Harsh? Not hardly. She got off way to easy. If that were my daughter she would be stocking shelves for a year and would have personally apologized to that guard. That type of behavior is ridiculous, she better get control of that girl or she'll be in jail before she can drive.
2007-09-07 14:42:19 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry but my daughter would have gotten more than that! That's hardly a punishment!!!! Not only would she have apologized but i would have told the police to take her to juvy for the week! She needs to realize that what she did was WRONG! By going to juvy she would have seen that by continuing her actions that this is where she could end up later on in life, and then she'd be grounded for the rest of the year! No cell phone, computer, TV, nothing! I'd take her into school myself and then come into school to pick her up. Sorry but just apologizing would not be enough of a punishment for me, there would be REAL consequences for her actions. Stocking shelf's is letting her off way too easy!
2007-09-08 01:36:47 · answer #7 · answered by sarah 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I do not think that is harsh punishment at all. And I tell you what, she would not be allowed back at the mall without me, if she was my daughter! Shoplifting is serious and only an opening for her to do more if she is not punished. I had someone ask me if I would ever press charges on my child if he ever hit me or a sibling (my friend had this happen with her kid) and I said "YES!". She thought that was too harsh. A week later her son broke his finger on her face. :(
2007-09-07 13:59:25 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
you think that is harsh? she tried to shoplift and spat on a security guards face and all she has to do is stock shelves for a week? i think a month is more reasonable. if she keeps giving punishments like that she will just keep on being bad.
2007-09-07 16:07:44 · answer #9 · answered by Dougy 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If that were my daughter she would be doing A LOT more than stocking shelves for a week. That is no sort of punishment at all.
2007-09-07 14:05:59 · answer #10 · answered by kbee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋