but..it might be a little too slow.i dont kno what to do. all we do is hug and im going to a dance with him.& we talk every night.we see each other everyday as much as we can. we really like each other..how do i make him see that im ready for the next step w/o over stepping my balance, making a mistake, or being too pushy...
and how do i tell my mom that im dating a senior w/o her freaking out? i could really use all the advice i can get.so.plz help!!
2007-09-07 13:50:28 · 18 answers · asked by Laura lin 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Is the next step for you your first kiss or is it to have sex?
A fourteen year old is NOT ready for sex. Maybe a hundred years ago or so but not today. There are more than thirty-three sexually transmitted diseases out there today. When I was a teen there were only FIVE diseases.
One in five or four teens have sexually transmitted genital warts. This is a virus and it is for LIFE. You can even get them with just oral sex. Think about your future. Do you want to destroy your ability to have children? Many different STD's (sexually transmitted diseases) actually cause women to loss their ability to conceive later in life.
Emotionally and mentally and even physically a freshman in highschool IS NOT ready for sex. A young man who is seveteen or eighteen and a young woman who is fourteen have no business dating. There is too much age and experiencial difference between the two of you. Physically a guy at this age is often the same height, weight and strength as an adult male and could over-power, injure and rape you.
You've talked to this guy on the phone and held his hand. You're going to a dance. Don't go out alone with him as you are more vulnerable than you'll ever know.
If you're not mature enough to tell your Mom or Dad about who you're dating and spending time with --you are absolutely NOT mature enough for the "next step".
Pregnancy, AIDS, STD's and being emotionally and/or physically damaged is NOT what a young woman your age even needs to put herself at risk for--
You need to focus on your schooling, fun highschool activities-(do you belong to any clubs?), developing friendships with lots of other teens and growing as a human being. Don't short- change your life by pretending to be an adult.
Do you realize that you aren't able to legally drive a car, vote, take prescription medicine with out parental consent, live on your own, have a job or doing ANYTHING else an adult can do?
Did you also know that many states have laws forbidding teens to engage in sexual activities? If he is eighteen or older and has sex with you he can be charged with statutory rape and under the current laws of the majority of states would have a permanent record of child sex abuse on his record and he'd have to report to the courts for years to come.
IT's no joke and what you're considering is entirely serious. Do not screw up your life or his.
2007-09-07 14:13:51 · answer #1 · answered by steinbeck11 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you're ready for the next step, And not only that, but I think you should feel lucky that you have a boyfriend who is older then you wanting to move slow. Do you know how many girls your age and even younger and sometimes older are being pushed or pressured into going to the next step? Whether or not you are talking of sex. Other things you may not be ready for, because those things lead to sex. I'm not trying to lecture, just don't want you to end up in a situation where you will regret it later, and not only that but what if he is taking it slow because he's not ready? And for your mother, just let her know that he is very responsible and taking things slowly and that if she would like to meet him to set up a dinner.
Good Luck.
2007-09-07 14:00:20 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
OK, the rs no such thing as too slow.
thers nothing worse than mistaking lust for love.
if u feel awkward around him because ur not doing "stuff" then that's prolly not a good thing, I'm not saying its a bad thing to kiss and stuff, trust me i love to be all tutchy, kissy, lovie with my boyfriend, but i also no how hard it is to say no, i mean ull never no how it is till u experience it (if u havent already) but offin times just doing innosent things can leed to much further things i hope u dont want to do,
but any ways if ur guys are really actully good to gether, then u probbily wont have a problem just talking to him about u feel, but when you tell him, make shure you let him no that u really appreshiet his considderateness, and respect for you and what would be best for you,
so really, there doesent half to be a perfict way, u should b comfortible around him no matter what, so just tell him,
:o)
2007-09-07 14:38:28 · answer #3 · answered by joyist16 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that things are a little too slow for you. Give him hints that you'd like to take the next step, whatever that is, but don't go to far. He is older than you and probably more experienced so be careful. Your mom will probably freak out because that's what moms do. They worry about their children. Tell her that you're responsible and that you'll be careful and smart. She will be happy to hear that. It would be nice if your b/f wanted to meet your parents thay way they can see who he is. Good luck.
2007-09-07 13:57:52 · answer #4 · answered by DoLz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mother has every right to freak out, because you are young. You think you are mature, but you havn't even started to live yet. There is so much you have ahead of yourself, that to be tied down to a guy at your age is a mistake.
The young man has made plans for the future, and is thinking. He knows that he needs to focus on, and what needs to be done to get ahead in the world. High school is for fun, not to get all serious.
2007-09-07 14:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by LIPPIE 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You be thankful you have a boyfriend that is respecting you. You are way too young to go further. You have the rest of your life to make huge mistakes. Don't start now. My daughter would NEVER be allowed to date a senior when she is a Freshman. If you were to do something really stupid and sleep with him, when he turns 18, if he hasn't already, it's rape. He could go to jail. Please slow down, enjoy your childhood.
2007-09-07 14:12:51 · answer #6 · answered by escher 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be happy he respect you enough to take it slow with you.
Enjoy it.
Dating isn't screwing yet. So there's not reason to freak out so long as there's no sex involved.
Your mom isn't "freaking out" she's just worried about you and that you might get hurt. Explain to her what you told us here. Slow down and try not to move too fast. You still have a long life ahead of you.
2007-09-07 13:55:08 · answer #7 · answered by MisterO 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think the reason he taking it very slow it could be because he doesn't want to do anything you and him are not ready to do. Tell your mom that you meant a guy at school and you are
dating him and his name is.
2007-09-07 14:20:32 · answer #8 · answered by Erika H. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think its good to take it slow, especially since hes a senior. this way it will give you more time to enjoy "the ride".
tell your mom straight forward, and if she freaks out tell her she can meet with the boy and they can talk and figure it out. even though it might be embarrassing, if you really want to see him it might be the only way.
2007-09-15 13:34:58 · answer #9 · answered by hahaha h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it slow. What's your hurry? Base a relationship on friendship, honesty and trust. Sounds like a great guy who respects you and doesn't want to hurt you or be hurt by you.
Enjoy the friendship.
2007-09-15 08:03:03 · answer #10 · answered by hugskisses4707 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋