An 85-year-old couple, after being happily married for almost 60 years, died together in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to Mom's interest in health food and proper diet. When they reached the Pearly Gates, St. Peter took them to their luxury mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, master bedroom suite and a fancy in-house jacuzzi.
The old man asked St. Peter how much all this was going to cost. "It's free," St. Peter replied, "this is Heaven." Next, they went out the back yard to survey the championship-style golf course that the home faced upon. They would have golfing privileges every day. In addition, it changed to a new one daily, representing the greatest golf courses on Earth. The old man asked, "So, what are the green fees?" St. Peter replied, "This is Heaven, you play for free!"
2007-09-07 12:32:07 · 43 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the best cuisine of the World laid out. "How much to eat?" asked the old man. "Don't you understand yet? This is Heaven, it is free!!" St. Peter replied with some exasperation.
"Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?" the old man asked timidly. In a forceful voice, St. Peter said, "That's the best part, you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you never get fat and you never get sick -- this is Heaven!" With that, the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his halo, screaming wildly and taking the Lord's name in vain.
St. Peter and his wife both tried to calm him down, asking what was wrong. The old man glared at his wife and said, "This is all your fault! If it weren't for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here years ago!"
2007-09-07 12:32:17 · update #1
Little Red Riding Hood is skipping thru the forest road when she sees
the big bad wolf crouched down behind a log.
" My, what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf."
The wolf jumps up and runs away.
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again
and this time he is crouched behind a bush.
"My what big ears you have, Mr. Wolf."
Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About 1/4 mile down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf
again and this time he is crouched down behind a rock.
"My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf."
With that the wolf jumps up and screams, "Will you knock it off,
I'm trying to poop!"
Brighten someone's day!
2007-09-07 13:55:22 · answer #1 · answered by Hannah's Grandpa 7 · 5⤊ 0⤋
I think the joke is funny but I got stuck on the part, about,,eat all you want and not gain weight...now that is a woman's idea of Heaven...okay, I know that is a carnal thought,,,but I am still here in the flesh and not there in the spirit. I'm working on it.
2007-09-07 12:45:00 · answer #2 · answered by dreamdress2 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nice joke, though you should have shortened it by keeping the "it's free" lines down to 3. Jokes like this almost always work best with the "rule of 3" in mind.
2007-09-07 12:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Cool joke. I enjoyed it.
Hmm... 2 points for laughing at a joke. Now I understand!
2007-09-09 22:39:29 · answer #4 · answered by skip 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
LMAO Pangel. NOW you folks know why I'm not into staying healthy. I am SO looking forward to enjoying myself after I'm gone. *snickering*
<---- going skinny dipping in the River Styx
BB,
Raji the Green Witch
2007-09-07 12:51:57 · answer #5 · answered by Raji the Green Witch 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Love it Pangel! Yay...bran muffins!!
2007-09-07 13:14:18 · answer #6 · answered by beano™ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Hahahahaha!
2007-09-07 12:43:56 · answer #7 · answered by Afi 7 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Very nice! Laughed and shared with family. (That's how my parents are now, seriously very careful about food and exercise.)
Peace, and blessings to you for making people smile and laugh.
2007-09-07 14:19:12 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 1⤋
hehehe That's a good one! Yep those bran muffins can help you live a while... but they can cost you a few rolls of toilet paper too.
2007-09-07 12:46:09 · answer #9 · answered by Rapunzel XVIII 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
I like it, that is funny..... But what 's with the Bran muffins, I hear a lot on bran muffins:)
2007-09-07 14:20:15 · answer #10 · answered by inteleyes 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋